And then there was Brian.
The whole buddy system is a thing of the past, but it seems like every day, Brian manages to get himself more firmly entrenched in my apartment. His underwear is in my dresser drawer, his clothes hang in my closet, and his toiletries sit on my bathroom counter.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say we were living together.
Someday, I might even find the courage to admit it to myself. And then we could both move into his condo, which is a hell of a lot nicer than my apartment. But I’m not ready for that yet, and I’m not sure Brian is, either. He understands now why I didn’t want to give up Lugh, and he no longer brings up the possibility, but I know he still struggles with jealousy. I don’t suppose I’d have felt any different in his shoes. Complicating the issue was the fact that we both knew Lugh’s seduction attempts were going to continue. Even so, our relationship was on firmer ground than it had ever been—which was actually a rather scary commentary on its own, but there you go.
When I’d first found out I was possessed, I’d spent a lot of time wishing my life could go back to the way it was before I’d even known Lugh existed. But looking back now, it’s hard to remember why I’d found the idea so appealing. Back then, I’d just been going through the motions of living my life. I’d kept everyone, even Brian, at arm’s length, and I’d carried around so much anger and resentment it was amazing I didn’t collapse under the weight.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not the poster child for sweetness and light now, either. But I have a man I love, and who loves me back. I have a demon I care about and respect—and, yes, still lust after, though I hate to admit it. I have friends—the real kind, who I can be myself with and actually trust. And because of Lugh, there’s purpose in my life. Working with him and with his council, I can do good, both for my people and for his.
It’s more than I ever dreamed of having.
Are people really capable of changing? My answer used to be a resounding “no.” Now, I think the answer might be a tentative “yes.” But it remains to be seen whether all those changes are for the good.