We didn’t speak, instead lying quietly in each other’s arms as we caught our breath. I closed my eyes and inhaled the musky, familiar scent of him, the scent I’d missed so desperately in the days since I’d turned him away. And I knew I was lost.
It didn’t matter what danger being with me put Brian in, and it didn’t matter that I was handing him the power to crush my heart. I couldn’t keep pushing him away. I needed him too badly, needed to be with the man who loved me just the way I was, even if I wasn’t sure that love could stand the test of time.
I raised my head to say something appropriately mushy, but before I opened my mouth, the phone rang. Brian and I grimaced at the same time.
“They can leave a message,” he said, stroking my still-sweaty cheek with one hand.
I was severely tempted to ignore the goddamn phone. There was so much I still had to say to Brian, and I had to say it now or I might chicken out. But as Lugh had pointed out on more than one occasion, there was much more at stake here than my own life and happiness. I sat up with an unhappy moan, wincing slightly at the soreness between my legs. “With all the drama surrounding my life, I have to at least see who it is.”
I felt his eyes on me as I reached for the phone and checked the caller ID. It was the front desk, which usually meant a visitor or a package. It was too late for a package.
I picked up the phone, then practically dropped it when Mr. Watkins, the front desk clerk, told me my father wanted to come up. My brain did a few jumping jacks as I tried to figure out (1) what the likelihood was that this was really my father, and (2) what the hell he could want to see me about if it was.
Mr. Watkins waited patiently while I thought about it for what felt like five minutes.
“Ms. Kingsley?” he finally prompted when my hesitation lasted too long.
If my father really had come out of hiding to talk to me, then I supposed I had no choice but to see him. Maybe the Spirit Society had sent him on Dougal’s behalf to try to pry information out of me. Then again, maybe Cooper had called and told him what I now knew about my past, and my father had come to try to make amends. Hey, it made a nice fantasy! “Send him up.”
Brian looked at me reprovingly as I slipped out of bed.
I gave him an apologetic smile as I pulled my jeans back on. “It’s my father. I have to talk to him.” There was so much I needed to say, but the thought of beating the crap out of him for what he’d allowed the Society to do to me was more tempting than I wanted to admit. “I’ll try to make it quick.” I dragged my shirt on over my head, not bothering with the bra. “Wait for me,” I said, then bent to give Brian a quick kiss.
But he got up and reached for his clothes. “I’ll wait,” he assured me before I could protest. “I’m just not going to wait naked in bed with your father in the next room.”
I laughed briefly, until I caught another glimpse of the stun gun clipped to his belt. “When did you get that?” I asked with a jerk of my chin.
“This morning. I was feeling a little skittish after everything that’s happened.”
I frowned. I didn’t like the idea of Brian carrying a weapon. Yeah, I wanted him to have some defense in the event of a demon attack, but it seemed like another step down a path I wished I could keep him from walking. I glanced at the bruises that were forming around my wrists and realized he might already be farther down that path than I liked to admit.
My doorbell rang, and though I wanted to stay here with Brian, to talk to him and to work things out, I knew now was not the time. Leaving him to finish getting dressed, I slipped out into the living room as the bell rang a second time. I hesitated before I answered the door. My father had conspired with the Society and with Lugh’s brothers to have me possessed by a demon against my will. He’d drugged me so he could take me to the hospital, then apparently left me to Cooper and Neely’s mercy without a second thought. Had he known what those bastards had been planning to do to me? Had he condoned them torturing me?
My mind rebelled at the thought. No matter that he wasn’t my biological father, no matter that we’d never gotten along, he had still raised me since I was a baby. My mind couldn’t encompass the idea that he was evil. Yes, he’d tried to give me to the demons, but in his worldview being possessed was a good thing.
The bell rang a third time, but despite my bone-deep conviction that my father wouldn’t harm me, I fished my Taser out of my handbag before answering. I checked through the peephole to be sure it really was my father on the doorstep, then swung the door open. As a concession to our close, personal relationship, I kept the Taser down by my side instead of pointing at him, although it was armed and ready to go.
His face as he stood there regarding me was studiously neutral, even when he saw the Taser. I had to resist the urge to punch him.
“Nice of you to drop by, Pops,” I said. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t slam the door in your face.”
His expression didn’t change. “You wouldn’t have opened the door in the first place if you didn’t want to talk to me.”
“I want to talk to you about as much as I want to have my tonsils removed without anesthetic.”
“Then by all means slam the door.”
I almost did it. Almost convinced myself I’d had more than my quota of confrontations today. But I knew if I shut him out now, I might never hear from him again. And boy did I have a lot of questions for him!
With a grunt of frustration—I really hate having my bluff called—I flung the door all the way open and stepped back. Dad’s expression finally changed, a hint of triumph sparking in his eyes. He stepped through the doorway then closed the door behind him and turned the dead bolt.
I didn’t feel like offering him a seat, so I stood in front of him in my most aggressive posture, legs shoulder-width apart, head held high, finger on the trigger of my Taser. I probably looked like a bodyguard wannabe, but I didn’t give a damn.
“So where the hell did you and Mom disappear to?” I asked.
He regarded me steadily. “If we’d wanted you to know, we’d have left a forwarding address.”
I blinked at that. I was the smart-ass of the family, and my dad usually stuck to “just the facts.” I supposed he was under a lot of strain these days, though I had to admit he didn’t look particularly stressed out. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was enjoying himself.
“I assume Cooper called and told you I remembered what you did to me.”
For half a second, I thought he looked surprised, but that hint of expression was gone before I was sure. “I never did anything to you.”
I waved his protest away. “You let Dr. Neely and Cooper have their way with me. They couldn’t have done it without your permission. Even you can’t deny your role in that.”
He shrugged. “If you expect me to wring my hands in guilt, you’ve got another think coming. I could have insisted your mother abort you. All in all I think I’ve treated you rather decently.”
I curled my lip in disgust. “If that’s the case, you need to look up ‘decently’ in the dictionary. Don’t you feel even a hint of remorse for what you did?”
I’d never been under the impression that my dad harbored any great love for me, but I’d always thought he’d felt at least some parental responsibility. Based on his total lack of remorse, I supposed that wasn’t the case.
He waved off my complaint as if it meant nothing to him. “That’s not what I came here to talk about.”
I was seriously tempted to force the issue, but after he and my mom had made such a production of disappearing, I figured if he’d come out of the woodwork voluntarily, it must have been something really important. So I swallowed my questions and my emotions and let him put me off.