Caldason was about to tell Kutch and Wendah to find another hiding place when the sound of a door slamming came from their rear. He turned, hand on sword.
Devlor Bastorran swaggered into the stable. The freakish looking meld accompanied him, and another, younger man, in uniform.
‘How very gratifying to see you again, Caldason,’ Bastorran announced. ‘I do hope you’ll be able to find the time for a little chat.’
Kutch was transfixed, but not by the paladin. His astonished gaze was set on the young officer with him; and the officer stared back in apparent amazement.
Caldason hid his own shock. ‘Always happy to accommodate someone who’s travelled so far to see me,’ he replied casually. ‘Let’s hope your visit’s not going to be too much of a disappointment.’
Bastorran grinned as he reached for his blade. ‘I doubt that.’
Hurrying along one of the redoubt’s many corridors, Serrah passed an open door and noticed that someone had left a tray of food on a table inside. She had no appetite, but remembering what Reeth had said, went in. The tray must have been there for a couple of days, and the meat and fruit looked suspicious. She contented herself with a hunk of stale bread, washed down with water. The effects of the ramp were starting to wear off, and she was feeling weaker, but this was no time to give in to energy loss. She forced down a couple more mouthfuls.
There were noises outside. Dimmed by distance and thick walls, but unmistakable all the same: the onslaught had started in earnest. Serrah discarded the powder-dry crust and continued her journey at a faster pace.
Everybody she passed seemed to be going about their own urgent business, understandably, and largely they ignored her. When she got to her destination, she found Kinsel outside the door.
‘Serrah, I’m so glad you’ve come.’ He was obviously relieved to see her.
‘What’s up?’
‘We were promised a healer, but nobody’s come.’
‘I wouldn’t hold your breath, Kinsel, given the state of things out there.’
‘I know, and I feel selfish when everyone’s so stretched. But I’m worried about Tan.’
‘Is she in desperate need?’
‘I don’t know,’ he sighed. ‘That’s what I was hoping a doctor would tell us.’ He moved closer and his voice dropped. ‘Though I’m starting to think she might need a priest, not a healer.’
‘Is she that bad?’ Serrah replied, alarmed.
‘No, no, you misunderstand me. It’s just that what ails her seems more…spiritual than physical.’ He added in a whisper, ‘I suppose I mean her mental state.’
‘I’ve not seen that much of her since she got here, but she does seem…well, almost a different person. What happened, Kinsel, do you have any idea?’
‘She had a hard time in Bhealfa before getting away, of course. I’ve never been able to find out exactly what she went through, though we can be sure it was difficult. But I’m no less in the dark than you, really.’
‘Perhaps it’s the baby. It’s her first, remember, and sometimes that can be a trial. Maybe once it’s born-’
‘Yes, of course.’ He looked at her, as though he’d pulled away from his own concerns and was seeing her properly for the first time. ‘I’m sorry, Serrah; you must think me terribly self-obsessed. I haven’t even asked how you are.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Are you sure? You do look a little wasted, if you don’t mind me saying. What have you been up to?’
‘It’s an involved story, and it’ll keep. Look, things outside are turning critical. That’s what I came about.’
‘We know we’re hardly in a good position here, but-’
‘It’s going to get a lot worse. I want you to think about letting me arrange a move for you all, seriously this time.’
His worried look deepened. ‘I thought you said we were safe here.’
‘I did. You are. But you’d be safer nearer the redoubt’s core. You’re too close to the outside of the building.’
‘What’s the point? The situation’s hopeless, isn’t it?’
‘That attitude’s not very helpful to Tan, is it? Or the kids. And what’s your alternative, giving up and cutting your throats? There’s always hope. Hang on to it.’
‘You sound like the way I was once.’
‘Good. Be that way again, it suits you.’ She squeezed his arm affectionately, noting how much bonier it was. ‘Something will turn up.’
‘The Source?’
‘Our secret weapon?’ She had to bite back her cynicism, lest she negate her last little speech. ‘It’s not proving fantastically helpful at the moment. But it has come up with some interesting facts.’ There was no need to burden him with horror stories about the Founders. ‘Again, I’ll tell you later.’ Assuming there would be a later.
‘Something else worries me.’
‘Haven’t you got enough to be going on with?’
‘Seriously. I wonder what I’d do if it came to me being all that stood between Tan and the kids and those invaders. What price my pacifism then? How would I be able to protect them? Then I think about how I’m leaving the fighting to others, and feel perhaps I’m just a coward after all.’ He bowed his head.
She stretched a hand to his chin and gently lifted his head again. ‘That’s between you and your conscience, Kinsel. I know what I’d do in that situation, but you and I have a slightly different way of looking at the world. And you’re no coward. I couldn’t do what you do. That turning the other cheek stuff takes a lot more self-discipline than I’ve got. Does that make either of us a coward?’
He gave a mild smile in gratitude. ‘We’ll have to hope that the enemy behave honourably and are merciful towards women and children.’
‘I’m sure they will be, if it comes to that.’ She thought it would be nice to believe that herself. ‘Kinsel, time’s pressing. Can I see Tan?’
‘Yes, of course you can.’ He stood aside to let her in.
As before, Tanalvah was in her bed. Her appearance wasn’t greatly improved from the last time Serrah had seen her. She still had a pasty, unhealthy pallor, and her breathing was shallow to the point of improbability. Her eyes were closed. In the room’s meagre light, she could have passed for a corpse.
There was no sign of the children. Serrah assumed they were behind the closed door of the adjoining room, hopefully sleeping.
Sensing Kinsel and Serrah’s presence before they made a sound, Tanalvah opened her eyes. There were unmistakable embers of pain in them, but she smiled at Kinsel.
‘I seem to spend my life asking this,’ Serrah said, ‘but how are you, Tan?’
‘I’m going to be better,’ she replied. It came out with a decisiveness she hadn’t shown for a long time.
‘That’s the spirit, my love,’ Kinsel approved.
‘I’m going to be better once I’ve made a clean breast and begged forgiveness.’
‘Iparrater doesn’t need you to beg,’ Serrah replied, taking it as a reference to Tanalvah’s faith. ‘You’ve often said yourself she’s a benign god.’
‘I’ve made my peace with her. I’m content with whatever punishment she sees fit to inflict on me. No, I’m thinking of more worldly forgiveness.’
‘You’ve done nothing to be forgiven for. If you’re referring to your old profession, well, you hardly had a choice about that, did you? Come on, Tan. A child’s birth should be a joyous time, whatever else is going on in this crazy world.’
‘It will be joyful to me if my child isn’t born in my sin. Which is why I must make my confession and-’
‘Tan? Tan.’
Tanalvah’s face twisted, her body writhing in agony.
Kinsel peered at her, anxious. ‘My love?’
‘It’s…time.’ Tanalvah said it through clenched teeth. Another shudder wracked her.
‘She’s right,’ Serrah reckoned. ‘Those are contractions.’
‘We need a healer.’ He looked distraught.
‘They’re all busy.’
‘Then we have to do it. Serrah, you-’
‘Because I’m a woman I have to be an expert midwife, is that it?’
‘Who else does she have but us?’
‘Oh, shit.’ Serrah felt a little ashamed, as well as fearful. She really wanted to get back to Reeth. And if she was being totally honest, given the ramp still coursing through her veins, the action. ‘Bring hot water and towels,’ she said. As he moved off, she called, ‘And keep the kids out of here!’