The last of the four attackers was at the opposite end of a table, facing David. They were moving back and forth from side to side as the lumbering behemoth attempted to wrap his thick hands around David’s throat. The man took the table in his hands and tossed it to the side, as though it was no more then a chunk of Styrofoam. Tom knew he had to act quickly and picked up a plate from his table.
Moving quickly, Tom rounded the last of several tables blocking his path and slammed the solid plate down on the last hick’s head. The plate shattered from the blow and the man fell to his knees, though he wasn’t knocked unconscious. David stood still with wide eyes.
“David,” Tom said.
David didn’t budge.
“David!” Tom said with a smile, knowing David had probably seen his life flash before his eyes. “Let’s get out of here before they get moving.”
David snapped out of his trance and his eyes met Tom’s.
“C’mon,” Tom said, and David moved.
Tom turned and headed for the door with David right behind him. They didn’t make it two feet before being stopped by a wall of three more rotund, country warriors.
“Where you ladies off to?” one of them said with a smile, as he gnawed on a toothpick.
Tom sighed and without a word, slugged the first man in the stomach.
From the parking lot around Peggy’s Porker Palace, the sounds of breaking dishes, glasses and screaming men could be heard echoing from inside the establishment. The front door whooshed open as Tom and David ran out into the parking lot. Both had been trounced fairly well. Tom’s nose was bleeding and David’s eye was swollen. “Quick! Around back!” Tom shouted.
Tom and David sped around the building, out of sight from any locals and activated their watches. The two bright flashes of light and two loud bangs, heard and seen by everyone with a window seat at the Porker Palace would later be explained as swamp gas-even though there wasn’t a swamp for hundreds of miles around.
Seven angry hicks pounded out of the restaurant and scanned the area for their fleeing prey. It wasn’t every day they got to beat down a couple a fairies!
One of the men, struggling to catch his breath said, “Damn! They gone!”
Another followed, “Them drag queens…sure can…run!”
The twelve disciples, Jesus and David trudged up a steep hill, which led to a lone dwelling, just outside Bethany. They hadn’t been walking long, but the steep incline took the muscle out of even the fittest man. David, Tom and Jesus led the pack.
Jesus looked at Tom and David, attempting not to smile while doing so. They were both bruised and battered from their encounter with the Porker Palace thugs. Tom had been quick with a cover story; that he and David were mugged, beaten and left unconscious in an alley. “The men who robbed and beat you, were they blind?”
“You’re not going to get into the blind that can see stuff again, are you?” Tom asked.
Jesus smiled, “No. I mean, were they physically blind?”
“Why?” Tom asked.
“You claim that five large men beat and robbed you,” started Jesus.
“Yes…” Tom was unsure as to where this was leading.
“Yet your money purse remains at your hip,” Jesus pointed out.
Tom looked down to his hip, where indeed, his money purse still hung. “Huh, I guess I must have fallen on top of it during the fight. Maybe they couldn’t see it?”
“Maybe they were blind?” Jesus asked with a smile.
“Not likely,” Tom said, wishing Jesus would change the line of questioning. While the truth would never come out, he didn’t want to be seen as a liar, not to his friends anyway. Yet Tom couldn’t resist the opportunity for a friendly jab, “Why don’t you just fix us up with a little God zap?”
David’s head snapped toward Tom, his eyes angry. Tom had just crossed the line with that comment. David turned to Jesus, afraid for what the repercussions for such a statement might be, “We’re fine. Ignore my ignorant friend. His ego was bruised along with his face.”
But Jesus, seemingly unfazed by the dig, said “Healing you would only make you forget more quickly the lesson you’ve learned. Pain and suffering can be wise teachers, and some lessons need to be learned over time.”
Tom mentally sifted through an array of witty replies, but never got the chance to utilize one. “Stop,” Jesus said to the group. At the top of the hill was a large home, built of clay bricks, surrounded by fig and olive trees. Jesus stared at the building, absorbing its shape and the surroundings, like he was remembering. At the top of the hill stood a man, whose presence shouted strength and power.
Lazarus had been working outside all day, and the roots of the stump before him lay exposed, yet still clinging to the ground. Lazarus gripped a rope tied to the stump and wrapped it around his hands and wrists. With a mighty pull and a scream of exertion, he wrenched the stump and all its roots from the earth.
Tom’s eyes widened as he saw the feat of amazing strength from a safe distance. “Who is this guy? Maybe we shouldn’t bother him,” Tom said.
“Stop worrying,” Jesus said, “It doesn’t become you.”
Jesus strode toward the man. Tom wondered what death wish had possessed Jesus now.
Mary, Lazarus’s sister, ran from the house, long black hair undulating through the air behind her, and shook Lazarus by the shoulder. “What is it?” Lazarus asked, knowing the look in Mary’s bright green eyes meant trouble.
Pointing to the road on which the fourteen were walking toward the house, Mary said, “There, on the road.”
From this distance, only the number of men could be made out. Lazarus picked up his shovel and wielded it like a gladiator.
“Get inside,” Lazarus said, “Find Martha, and be ready to run.”
“What about you?” Mary asked.
“My life is inconsequential. I would willingly give it for my sisters’,” Lazarus said, “Now go.”
Mary obeyed her big brother’s request. She ran back inside as quickly as she had run out. Lazarus took a few broad steps toward the encroaching group and shouted, “Stay where you are and state your business.” His voice boomed.
The fourteen stopped in their tracks. Lazarus had a commanding voice and even more commanding body language. Jesus turned to Tom and smiled, “Perhaps we all need to learn a lesson, eh?”
“What? No. What are you-?”
Tom’s brief protest fell on deaf ears. “We’re here to eat your food and be served by your sisters!” Jesus shouted.
Tom audibly gasped. Jesus had gone insane! “What are you doing?” Tom said, “That guy is huge!”
Lazarus held up the shovel, ready to strike down the first man to try. “Turn back the way you came, stranger.”
“Stranger?” Jesus shouted, “I haven’t been gone that long.”
Through squinted eyes, Lazarus attempted to make out facial features.
Jesus pushed on, “Perhaps I should come up there and beat some sense into you!”
Tom looked at Jesus wide-eyed. Tom thought all this God business must have really been going to Jesus’s head.
Lazarus stood up straight and his head tilted. “Jesus?”
“In the flesh,” Jesus replied.
A smile stretched across Lazarus’s face. “Mary! Martha! It’s Jesus!” Lazarus shouted, as his huge feet carried him toward Jesus.
They met halfway and embraced like true friends. Jesus was lifted off the ground in Lazarus’s arms. “It’s been too long, my friend!”
Tom let out a long sigh of relief. He looked at David, “I thought we were all dead for sure.”
“I’m sure that’s the same thing he was thinking.” David said, as he looked at Lazarus.
Jesus was released from Lazarus’s bear hug. He looked at Lazarus’s arms and said, “I see you’ve been working hard.”
“Jesus!” Mary shouted, as she just about barreled him over with a hug.
Tom couldn’t help but smile at such a happy reunion. He could tell these must have been lifelong friends of Jesus, and Mary…was stunning! Her hair looked soft, but not as soft as her face, and her smile-beautiful, the way it pushed her cheeks into firm apples… Tom was pulled from his wistful distraction when Jesus spoke.