"Making that decision must have been hard," I said inadequately.
"Devastating. It broke Ariana's heart, but at least she had me and Colin to support her. When Colin died, that left only me to confide in. Then you came along."
"I don't think I could say Ariana confides in me."
Janette leaned forward and put a hand on mine. "I'm so pleased you're in her life, Kylie. You make her laugh, and that's more of an achievement than you can imagine."
I said ruefully, "It's more laughing at me than with me."
"Don't sell yourself short. You're the only one, besides me, who can get close to her."
"Crikey, Janette, I don't know if I can claim that degree of intimacy."
Janette sat back with a knowing smile. "Really? That's not how I heard it from Ariana."
I felt myself blushing. "What did she say?"
"She said you were like no one she had ever met before. That you went to bed together. That she was astonished and disconcerted." Janette chuckled. "And that it was pretty damn good."
Flustered and delighted and confused, all at once, I blurted out, "I'm in love with her."
Janette's face softened. "Kylie, that may not be such a good idea."
"Why? Because Natalie will always be between us?"
"Ariana is fiercely loyal."
"I can't help how I feel. I don't want to help it," For the second time in a few minutes I felt tears sting my eyes. I was becoming such a sook. "You're saying I've got Buckley's, are you?" I asked.
She frowned. "Buckley's?"
"Meaning I've no chance." I added for clarification, "It's hopeless."
Her expression concerned, she said, "Ariana didn't mention any of this to me. Does she know how you feel?"
"Yes."
Gussie, who'd settled down near us, suddenly leapt joyfully to her feet, her plumed tail wagging.
"Ariana's home," said Janette.
We heard the key in the door and then the sounds of Gussie's enthusiastic greeting. Janette said to me in a soft voice, "Be careful with her, Kylie. When she called to say she was running late, it was because she couldn't drive. She was too upset. She didn't say why, but of course it's to do with Natalie."
Ariana and Gussie came into the room. Janette went to her and gave her a hug. "How's it going, sis?"
"OK." Ariana looked over Janette's shoulder at me. "Hi."
"Hello." I felt a fool, not sure of what to say or how to act. Janette took the pressure off by bustling around looking for her car keys.
Keys located, she gave Ariana another quick hug. "I'll speak with you tomorrow. If you want me to take Gussie again, just give the word." She flashed a smile at me. "See you, Kylie."
Ariana and Gussie went outside to see Janette off, leaving me in unexpected turmoil, uncertain of whether to ask Ariana about Natalie, or avoid the subject. Would it hurt her or help her to talk about it? Was I presuming too much? Why would she want to share her grief with me?
Let me comfort you, I'd said yesterday, confident that I could. Today I wasn't sure of anything.
In the end, we didn't watch a movie, but had pizza delivered and chatted about different things, none of which was remotely connected to Natalie. I did most of the talking. I amused her with my description of Pauline Feeney's ire when I'd told her there was no way I could get her onto the Darleen set. I told her about my conversation with Yancy and how he'd claimed his boss, Norris Blainey, some time in the past had been associated with mysterious deaths. I described my trepidation about embarking on an acting career, even though it was only for a short time and in a good cause, and how I expected Harry and Gert O'Rourke to call any minute, demanding to know what I'd found out about their son, Dingo, which so far would be nothing.
After we'd cleared away the remains of the pizza, we sat on either end of the couch with tea (me) and coffee (Ariana) looking out at the lights of the city.
Ariana broke the silence. "Sorry. I'm not very good company tonight."
I took a deep breath. "Do you want to talk about Natalie?"
"What is there to say?" I didn't speak. Ariana looked over at me. After a moment, she said, "Natalie doesn't know who I am."
How could anyone forget those laser blue eyes?
Ariana's lips trembled. "She's in restraints. She doesn't understand what's happened to her, and she keeps trying to get up, saying she wants to go home. Natalie means our house, where we lived in Santa Monica."
Ariana put her face in her hands. "When I was leaving, she pleaded with me, begged me to take her there. She said someone was waiting for her. Someone who loved her."
I put my tea down carefully, and moved to take her in my arms. I could cry for the pity of it, but that would be no comfort for Ariana. "What else?" I said.
"That was the worst. That and her bewilderment at not being able to get up and walk. She treated me like a friendly stranger. "Something's the matter," she said. "Will you get someone to help me, please?"
We sat in silence, Ariana in my arms, for a long time. Then she stirred. "I'm exhausted."
I kissed her, gently. She didn't push me away, nor did she respond. I said, "Come to bed."
"Kylie, sex is the last thing on my mind."
"I had more in mind a comfortable cuddle."
She gave me a small, tired smile. "Why do I not believe you?"
"Fair dinkum, Ariana. I won't start anything. Promise. It's just that I don't think you should be alone tonight."
She nodded slowly. "Just for tonight, I'd…"
"Appreciate my company?"
"Something like that."
"Can you give me an old T-shirt to wear? I hadn't planned ahead." Sure.
She moved without her usual taut energy. I took Gussie outside for a quick run, then came in, cleaned my teeth in the guest bathroom and changed into the old, soft T-shirt Ariana had left out for me. I padded into her bedroom. I could hear her shower still running, so I sat on the bed and waited.
She came out wearing green silk pajamas. I looked at her without passion, but with a love so overwhelming it frightened me. I clenched my teeth to avoid saying, "I absolutely adore you."
She turned back the bedspread, and without a word, we slid between the sheets. She reached up, snapped off the lamp beside the bed and turned her back to me. I put my arm around her and snuggled up close. Her breathing slowed almost immediately, and I realized she had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
I was sure I'd lie awake all night, joyful that Ariana lay within the circle of my arm. That was my last waking thought.
Sometime during the night I awoke. From her ragged breathing, I knew Ariana was weeping. I touched her wet face, then gently took her in my arms. Eventually I felt her relax as sleep overtook her again. This time I did lie awake for a long time.
"Night on the town, eh?" Lonnie said, beaming as he joined me at Kendall & Creeling's front door at eight-thirty the next morning. I gave him the hairy eyeball, and he said, "Sorry, Kylie. None of my business."
As I unlocked the door I thought how astonished Lonnie would be if he knew I'd spent the night in Ariana's bed. Or perhaps he wouldn't be at all surprised. His little-boy manner made it easy to underestimate how sharp he was.
Ariana had been sound asleep when I'd woken up. I'd shushed Gussie, let her outside for a bathroom break while I dressed, checked that Ariana was still sleeping, then put Gussie back inside with whispered instructions not to wake her mistress.
Lonnie was clutching his McDonald's breakfast, and was in an excellent mood, even side-stepping Julia Roberts without his usual complaints, when she darted out from behind Melodie's desk and tried to brush against his legs. Whistling, he made his way to the kitchen, where he busied himself making coffee, while I put the electric kettle on for tea.