“And I suppose I feel embarrassed,” he added. “Toward your parents as well. After everything they did for me. For years they sent me letters and presents. And I never wrote back. So when I saw you this morning, I thought, it’s now or never. I waited for you outside the police station. I had nearly given up when you finally came out. I was freaking freezing.” He laughed and patted himself to warm up.
“Well, there’s not much meat on you,” Anna blurted out.
“Or you,” Troels said, affectionately. Spontaneously, Anna stuck her arm under Troels’s. He smiled.
“It must be tough,” he said. “Have you been interviewed by the police?”
“Hmm,” Anna replied, evasively. “I’m helping the police a bit. They don’t really get the world of academia,” she said and fell silent.
Troels looked at her. “What did they ask you?” he pressed.
Anna stopped and glared at him. “Honestly, Troels. What happened back then?” she challenged him. “Why did you leave? Why did you disappear? Karen looked for you for weeks.”
“Does it really matter now?” Troels asked.
“If it doesn’t matter, then why did you leave? Drama queen.”
Troels withdrew his arm from hers.
“Don’t do that!” His eyes glowed.
Anna planted her hands on her hips. “Don’t do what?” she fumed. “I’m not doing anything. You’ve been spying on me, following me, and behaving very strangely. And now you say that it doesn’t matter. You dropped off the face of the earth for ten years. That does matter! I can’t have people just disappearing like that, it’s a rotten thing to do!” She was jabbing her finger at him now and her eyes turned shiny with anger. Troels’s face hardened.
“You were my best friend,” he almost whispered. “I trusted you. You and Karen and your parents. And that night you behaved just like my dad. And you know it. You were vicious.” Troels clenched his jaw.
Anna simmered with rage and knew she was about to lose her temper again. She only restrained herself because the image of the World’s Most Irritating Detective appeared on her retina.
“Listen, why don’t we say good-bye now and meet up after my present my dissertation?” she forced herself to say in a controlled voice. “Karen and you are welcome to attend it, it’s a public event,” she added and glanced at him. “Only I’m a bit pressed for time now, Troels. I’m sorry. I want to get on. On my own. I’ve got some things I need to process. And I’ve a train to catch.”
For a moment his face looked outraged and she thought he was shaking, but then he relaxed.
“Okay,” he acquiesced. “It’s all right. I understand you’re under pressure. First your supervisor, then Johannes. That can’t have been easy.”
Anna thawed a little. “Hey,” she said, reaching out for his hand. “I’d really like to see you, Troels. In a couple of weeks, all right?” She tried to calm things down and remembered Søren telling her to be good. She had almost managed it.
“I’m going this way,” Troels said weakly, and pointed toward the intersection. “I don’t live far away.”
“Okay,” Anna said. She hugged him and their embrace felt hard and bony. Anna gripped his arm and briefly held him at a distance.
“Friends again?” she asked.
“Of course,” Troels smiled. “Bad timing,” he added. “I just couldn’t help myself when I saw you this morning. I had been thinking about you and then, presto, you get on my bus. I should have waited.” He moved a lock of Anna’s hair from her forehead with his gloved hand.
“See you, gorgeous,” he said and crossed the road. Anna looked after him.
Lily was in high spirits all the way to Odense. They had found seats in a family carriage and the first thing she did was empty her rucksack of toys out on the table. Her cries of delight quickly attracted two other children and soon Lily was handing round teddies, dolls, and Lego bricks. Anna watched her daughter from her window seat. Then the train attendant arrived with her trolley, Anna bought hot dogs and two cartons of juice, and when they had eaten their lunch, they were practically at their destination.
At Odense railway station, Anna was struck by how everything had changed and yet it remained the same. There was a multitude of shops now and the place looked more like a shopping center than a station. An escalator had been installed, and there was a new parking lot at the station entrance. Nevertheless, she was overcome with nostalgia.
While Anna and Lily walked—at a painfully slow pace—along the pavement, she wondered if she knew anyone in this city. Several of her and Karen’s old school friends were bound to live here, but she couldn’t recall the names of any of them. Karen’s mother still lived here, she believed. Anna sighed. Karen was coming over tonight.
Anna had printed out a map and had been delighted to discover that Ulla Bodelsen lived within walking distance of the train station, in a narrow street called Rytterstræde. Lily toddled along with enthusiasm in her snowsuit, and it wasn’t until she slipped and fell that she insisted on being carried. Anna sweated. What the hell did she think she was doing? Ulla Bodelsen had to be around eighty years old and bound to be senile and confused. And how many children had passed through her hands since Anna? Anna decided she was an idiot for thinking this was a good idea. She made a mental note to buy flowers for the funeral tomorrow.
Her cell rang. She shifted Lily on to her hip and managed to retrieve it from her pocket. It was a man from the examination board confirming the exact time for her dissertation defense. When the conversation had ended, Lily said: “Was that my daddy?”
Anna was astonished. “No, darling,” she replied.
“Don’t I have a daddy?” she wanted to know. Their eyes were very close and Anna could feel Lily’s warm breath on her chin.
“Yes, darling. You have a daddy. His name is Thomas, and he lives far away. In Sweden. He’s a doctor and he makes people better.”
“Andreas’s daddy is called Mikkel,” Lily said. “I want a daddy, too.”
“Yes, I know,” Anna said.
“Poor Daddy,” Lily said and squirmed to get down. She had spotted something shiny on the pavement. “Look, Mom, gold!” she called out, ecstatically.
“Why poor Daddy?” Anna asked.
“Look, Mom. Real gold.” Lily picked up a bottle top of golden foil. Someone had smoothed it out and it looked like a small sun. “Gold. Gold!”
Anna gave up.
Ulla Bodelsen lived in a ground floor apartment in a small cobblestoned street. Anna hesitated before she rang the doorbell and started sweating when she heard quick footsteps behind the door. Lily marched straight in when it was opened.
“Look, we found gold,” she informed the old lady. “What’s your name?”
The elderly, but well-groomed woman bent down, cupped Lily’s face in her hands and studied her closely.
“Yes, it’s clear to see,” she said, enigmatically “My name’s Ulla. What’s yours?”
“Lily Marie Nor,” Lily said with emphasis. “Please may I have some squash?”
Ulla Bodelsen laughed and looked at Anna.
“Hello,” she said, warmly. Anna shook her hand. Ulla Bodelsen’s eyes were green and bright, her hair was cut in a short, modern style, and her skin surprisingly smooth. A kayak was leaning against the wall behind her.