When the baby was replete and put down to sleep,
298
Takver said in a low but impassioned voice, "Nowl What is it?"
Sadik had gone half to sleep herself, her head on Shevek's chest. He could feel her gather herself to answer.
He stroked her hair to keep her quiet, and answered for her. "Some people at the learning center disapprove of us.**
"And by damn what damned right have they to disapprove of us?"
"Shh, shh. Of the Syndicate."
"Oh,'* Takver said, a queer guttural noise, and ia buttoning up her tunic she tore the button right off the fabric. She stood looking down at it on her palm. Then she looked at Shevek and Sadik.
"How long has this been going on?"
"A long time," Sadik said, not lilting her head.
''Days, decads, all quarter?"
"Oh, longer. But they get ... they're meaner in the dorm now. At night Terzol doesnt stop them." Sadik spoke rather like a sleep-talker, and quite serenely, as if the matter no longer concerned her.
"What do they do?" Takver asked, though Shevek's gaze warned her.
"Well, they ... they're just mean. They keep me out of the games and things. Tip, you know, she was a friend, she used to come and talk at least after lights out. But she stopped. Terzol is the big sister in the dorm now, and she's ... she says, 'Shevek is—Shevek—* **
He broke in, feeling the tension rise in the child's body, the cowering and the summoning of courage, unendurable.
"She says, 'Shevek is a traitor, Sadik ia an egoizef—You know what she says, TakverI" His eyes were blazing. Takver came forward and touched her daughter's cheek, once, rather timidly. She said in a quiet voice, "Yes, I know," and went and sat down on the other bed platform, facing
them.
The baby, tucked away next to the wan, snored slightly.
People in the next room came back from commons, a door slammed, somebody down in the square called good night and was answered from an open window. The big domicile, two hundred rooms, was astir, alive quietly all round them; as their existence entered into its existence so did its existence enter into theirs, as part of a whole. Presently Sadik slipped off her father's knees and sat on the plat-
299
form beside him, close to him. Her dark hair waa rumpled and tangled, hanging around her face.
"I didn't want to tell you, because . . .** Her voice sounded thin and small. "But it hist keeps getting worse.
They make each other meaner."*
"Then you won't go back there," Shevek said. He put his arm around her, but she resisted, sitting straight.
"If I go and talk to them—" said Takver.
"It's no use. They feel as they feel."
**But what is this we're up against?*' Takver asked with bewilderment.
Shevek did not answer. He kept his arm around Sadik, and she yielded at last, leaning her head against his arm with a weary heaviness. "There are other learning centers,'* he said at last, without much certainty. ,
Takver stood up. She clearly could not sit still and wanted to do something, to act. But there was not much to do. "Let me braid your hair, Sadik," she said in a subdued voice.
She brushed and braided the child's hair; they set the screen across the room, and tucked Sadik in beside the sleeping baby. Sadik was near tears again saying good night, but within half an hour they heard by her breathing that she was asleep.
Shevek had settled down at the head of their bed platform with a notebook and the slate he used for calculating.
'T paged that manuscript today,*' Takver said.
*'What did it come to?"
**Forty-one pages. With the supplement.**
He nodded. Takver got up, looked over the screen at the two sleeping children, returned, and sat down on the edge of the platform.
<<! knew there was something wrong. But she didnt say anything. She never has, she's stoical. It didn't occur to me it was this. I thought it was just our problem, it didnt occur to me they'd take it out on children." She spoke softly and bitterly. "It grows, it keeps growing. . . . Will another school be any different?"
"I don't know. If she spends much time with us, probably not."
"You certainly arent suggesting—**
"No, I'm not I'm stating a fact, only. If we choose to
300
give the chad the intensity of Individual love, we cant Spare her what comes with that, the risk of pain. Pain from us, and through u»."
"It isn't fair she should be tormented for what we do.
She's so good, and good-natured, she's like dear water—" Takver stopped, strangled by a brief rush of tears, wiped her eyes, set her lips.
**It i&n't what we do. It's what I do.** He put his notebook down. **You*ve been suffering for it too.**
*^I dont care what they flunk."
"At work?-
1 can take another posting.**
**Not here, not in your own field.'1
*^Well, do you want me to go somewhere else? The Sor-ruba fishery labs at Peace-and-Plenty would take me on.
But where does that leave you?" She looked at him angrily. "Here, I suppose?"
"I could come with TOO. Skovan and the others are coming along in lotic, theyTl be able to handle the radio, and that's my main practical function in the Syndicate now. I can do physics as wen in Peace-and-Plenty as I can here. But unless I drop right out of the Syndicate of Initiative, that doesn't solve the problem, does it? I'm the problem. I'm the one who makes trouble."
**Would they care about that, in a little place like Peaco-and-Plenty?"
*Tm afraid they might"
**Shev. how much of his hatred have you run up against? Have you been keeping quiet, like Sadik?"
"And like you. Well, at times. When I went to Concord. last summer, it was a little worse than I told you. Rock-throwing, and a good-sized fight The students who asked me to come had to fifiht for me. They did. too, but I got out quick; I was putting them in danger. Well, students want some danger. And after all we've asked for a fight, we've deliberately roused people. And there are plenty on our side. But now... but Fm beginning to wonder if Fm not imperiling you and the children. Tak. By staying with you."
"Of course you're not in danger yourself," she said savagely.
"I've asked for it. But it didn't occur to me they'd ex-
301
tend their tribal resentment to you. I dont feel the same about your danger as I do about mine."
"Altruist!"
"Maybe. I cant help ft. I do feel responsible, Tak.
Without me, you could go anywhere, or stay here. You've worked for the Syndicate, but what they hold against you is your loyalty to me. I'm the symbol. So there doesn't... there isn't anywhere for me to go.**
"Go to Urras,'* Takver said. Her voice was so harsh that Shevek sat back as if she had hit him in the face.
She did not meet his eyes, but she repeated* more softly, "Go to Urras. . . . Why not? They want you there.
They don't here! Maybe they*!! begin to see what they've lost, when you're gone. And you want to go. I saw that tonight I never thought of it before, but when we talked about the prize, at dinner, I saw it, the way you laughed.**
*! don't need prizes and rewards!"
"No, but you do need appreciation, and discussion, and students—with no Salmi-strings attached. And look. You and Dap keep talking about scaring PDC with the idea of somebody going to Urras, asserting his right to self-determination. But if you talk about it and nobody goes, you've only strengthened their side—you've only proved that custom is unbreakable. Now you've brought it up in a PDC meeting, somebody win have to go. It ought to be you. They've asked you; you have a reason to go. Go get your reward—the money they're saving for you," she ended with a sudden quite genuine laugh.