“Oh, I can’t remember. I screamed for Nicolai to come. He panicked as well and was down by the pond a few seconds later. And he tried to revive him too, and I was so sure that he’d manage, because Nicolai is so good at all kinds of things. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t get Tommy’s heart started. When the paramedics came, they took over. They’re obviously much better at it than us, but they didn’t manage either, even though they seemed to try forever. When they said there was no point in continuing, I just about fainted. They gave up right in front of my eyes. It’s over, they said, and one of the men was crying like a baby. We were both crying and Nicolai was in shock.”
At this point in her account, she changed position in her chair, as if she wanted to emphasize what she was saying.
“And I couldn’t understand why the police said we had to go down to the station. It was an accident,” she said conclusively.
She had said all she wanted to say. Sejer jotted something down, the thoughts racing through his mind, a combination of sorrow and sympathy. He felt no joy in breaking down her story. After all, she was practically a child herself, and he was a sympathetic person. But there were still so many questions to be answered. He was always fascinated by this moment, the moment when the mask fell away. Thanks to a combination of science, intuition, and sense.
“Carmen,” he said calmly, “why are you lying?”
“But I’m not lying!” she cried. “Leave me alone; I can’t take being blamed anymore. I did what I could, but it was too late!”
Sejer let her sit in silence for a while, her outburst vibrating in the air. Meanwhile he prepared his next move.
“Carmen,” he said quietly. “It didn’t happen the way you’ve told me. You have the opportunity now to tell the truth. I’m still waiting for the only possible explanation. Tommy has been examined by a pathologist and a number of tests were done. The cause of death was drowning; we have established that. But he didn’t drown in the pond. And that is no unfounded claim. It is a documented fact.”
“What?” she said uncertainly. “What do you mean? I don’t understand what you’re going on about. I’ve told you what happened!”
She stared wide-eyed at the Dictaphone that lay between them on the table. The red eye was still blinking, documenting her every breath.
“Don’t say things like that; it makes me nervous,” she added.
“Tommy had water in his lungs,” Sejer said. “But not the water from Damtjern. The water in Tommy’s lungs contained soap.”
There. He’d said it. He made a brief note and then looked at her across the table.
“So how do you explain that? Why are you lying?”
The silence that followed was so absolute you could hear the traffic on the street outside, despite the room being sound insulated. So, not the muddy water from Damtjern, but soapy water. That could not be explained away. Everything seemed to stop. He could see that she was searching for words but could not find them.
“What actually happened, Carmen? Did he drown in the bathtub? Because you know, you won’t get away with this now that we’ve found the evidence. I want the truth about what happened, my dear, even if we have to sit here until Christmas.”
“Am I suspected of something?” she asked lamely. “You might as well tell me like it is. If I’m suspected of something, then I’ve got the right to a lawyer. I’m not going to answer any more stupid questions!” she said, bursting out with a sob. Her tears were streaming steadily and evenly. A deep red flushed her cheeks.
“Of course you’ll get a lawyer. But the fact is that you’ve given a false statement. And that is serious. That is where you stand at the moment. But you have a chance now to tell the truth once and for all. Tell me what actually happened. I’m sitting here, listening.”
Carmen Zita continued to weep bitter tears at the injustice. “OK, I’ll tell you, but you have to believe me then,” she pleaded. “You see, I found him in the bathtub. And it was already too late.”
She leaned back in the chair, crossed her arms, and stared at him in anticipation. Sejer listened and made notes. Found in the bathtub, OK, that was possible. The incident might still be an accident. In which case she could perhaps be tried for negligence, and she was presumably aware of this.
“So, you’d put him in a bath of warm, soapy water. Do you use the big bathtub, or do you have a special baby one?”
“Yes,” she said, “he was in the big bathtub. And it was pretty full. I had to support his back so he wouldn’t slide under. I was on my knees on the floor. We were playing with some rubber ducks; he loved that kind of thing.”
“Why did you leave him?”
She shook her fair head. “I didn’t, I didn’t leave him. I’m not stupid, you know. No one would leave such a small baby in a bathtub full of water and I’m not totally irresponsible.” She leaned forward over the table and looked at him with earnest eyes. “I had a fit,” she said dramatically. “It happens every now and then.”
“A fit? What kind of fit? Explain.”
Again he heard the hum of the traffic from the street outside. But then the world disappeared again and he was absolutely focused on the present, there in the room.
“I’ve got a serious brain disorder,” she confessed. She pouted and pushed her lower lip forward, as if she was sulking.
“What do you mean by disorder?” he asked.
“I’ve got epilepsy,” she explained. “I was washing him when I had a major seizure. I was flat out on the floor for quite a while. When it was over, he was lying at the bottom of the bathtub and it was too late. He had swallowed loads of water and I just panicked. I didn’t really know what I was doing. Surely you can understand that,” she added. “I was so scared, I just went to pieces.”
Hmm, he thought, a seizure. Cramps and loss of consciousness. He checked that the Dictaphone was still recording. All Carmen’s words would be stored in the little box and could be used for or against her in court on the final day.
“I thought I might be charged with negligence if I told the truth,” she continued. “So I carried him down to the pond. Then I could say that he’d gone there by himself, on his own two feet. Right to the end of the jetty and over the edge. It would be a more believable explanation in a way, and it wouldn’t really be my fault. Just an unfortunate accident. That’s what I thought. It probably sounds stupid, but I wasn’t myself. You’ve got to believe me; it was a major fit. So I carried him out to the pond and let him sink. I pretended that was what happened, made up a new story. Then I went to get Nicolai. And I don’t want you bothering him anymore, because it’s definitely not his fault!”
There was silence again following this outburst. He waited. He could not help but wonder at this new turn of events. For all he knew, she might be telling him the truth now. A very intricate story but perhaps too fantastic to be a lie.
“How long have you had epilepsy?”
“I was born with it,” she said. “I’ve always had it, and it’s pretty bad.”
“Do you take medicine?”
“Yes,” she replied. “Of course I take medicine; don’t be ridiculous! I don’t have fits that often, but when I do they’re big ones and they last a long time. Maybe once a month. We didn’t get enough air when we were born, you see. I’m actually a twin and it was a difficult birth. My sister Louisa died right away; she was only alive for an hour. And she only weighed three pounds. I weighed six, so you can imagine. I was the stronger of the two of us, and I’m proud of it. So there.”
“And how do you feel after a blackout like that?” he inquired.
“Not good,” she said quickly. “Dizzy, confused, and weak. I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m just not with it for quite a long time. And later I can’t remember those first few minutes; it’s like they’ve been erased. More often than not I have to lie down, and I usually sleep for a few hours. But I’ve lived with epilepsy all my life, so I’m used to it. And Nicolai is too, and Dad of course. He knows how it is and he understands me.”