"Well, okay — do they sell bug-zappers?" Sally glanced at the candy counter.
"Hmmmm … You could beat 'em with licorice whips…" Lon offered.
"Yeah, THAT’S an idea!" Sally laughed.
"Okay, licorice, too," Lon said to the girl behind the counter.
"This is gonna cost a MINT!" Sally exclaimed.
"It’ll be fine," Lon waved it off.
"Well, it’s not right — is this a date?" Sally asked.
Lon shrugged. "It didn’t start out that way, but what with hazard pay and cootie preventatives…" He collected the popcorn and the licorice. "Here." He handed her the licorice. "I hope you like salt on your popcorn…"
"Yes, please … You have to look at this from my side — suddenly a guy generally considered hot starts hanging out around me … It’s … unprecedented. Teela swore you just wanted…" Sally’s voice trailed off.
Lon grimaced. "Well, okay, do I need to file some kind of letter of intent, or something? Because I’m not ruling that out — but it isn’t the whole plan, by ANY stretch! I mean — jeez, how do I be honest about this and not get slammed? I mean, if I wasn’t interested, wouldn’t that be an insult?" He handed their tickets to the usher. "I think the word just is unfair, here. It isn’t a just situation, okay?"
Sally had to admit that Lon had a point — why would either of them bother if there wasn’t SOME interest… "It still comes back to the same question, Lon — why me?"
Lon stared off into space. "Let’s just say that experience has brought me a different perspective…"
"That’s scary!" Sally exclaimed.
Lon smiled an odd smile. "Let’s just take in a movie for now, okay?"
So they did. Lon learned that Sally didn’t like diet soda; Sally learned that Lon was indifferent to it, either way. Both of them liked LOTS of salt on their popcorn — hence the soda … They learned that Rick had been right — the movie was TERRIBLE! Sally learned that licorice whips weren’t much of a threat…
As they came out of the cinema, Lon asked, "Would you like me to take you home? I won’t be running out of gas or stopping on any lonely moonlit roads — besides, it’s only four-thirty…"
"Well, all right," Sally replied. "I think this definitely counts as a date…"
"Are you sure you want it to?" Lon asked, mock seriously. "At the end of date three, I grow long fangs — and other parts…"
Sally eyed him, worrying a popcorn hull stuck in her gums with her tongue. "Really?"
Lon shrugged. "I’m afraid so. If you declare this to be a date, that’s one less time you’re safe — and you can’t change your mind, later. It’s now or never — well, technically, you have until I drop you off…"
"I guess I’d better consider carefully, then," Sally replied, mock-seriously. "Shall we go?"
The ride home was quiet — and direct, as promised. As she opened the car door, Sally looked up, pensive. "I think I can state with some certainty that that was a date," she announced.
"Wait." Lon reached out and grabbed her wrist — the most aggressive thing he’d done all afternoon. "If it was a date, I get to attempt to drag you further into my web of lust and depravity," he intoned. "So, can we go out again some time?"
Sally eyed her captive wrist. Well, it wasn’t REALLY captive; once he’d stopped her motion, the grip went slack. After a moment’s thought, she husked, "Yeah, you can call me, if you think of something. I’m in the book."
"Okay." Lon let go.
"Teela is going to freak," Sally mumbled, not moving.
"Teela needs — ah, never mind," Lon grunted.
Sally looked up at him. "You’d be right."
Lon pursed his lips. "Maybe I’ll sic Rick on her."
"That might work…"
"Really?"
"Uh huh."
Lon pulled his lip. "We shouldn’t double, though — it’s a distraction for them — and for us!"
"Yes…" Sally said, distracted. "Lon, what is this?"
Lon looked at her directly. "It’s what you decide it is — for now, anyway. Later, when it takes on a life of it’s own, things won’t be so simple."
"Okay." Sally really didn’t know what to say. "Thanks…"
"You’re welcome."
Sally didn’t move. "What did you mean when you said, ' Let’s just say that experience has brought me a different perspective… '?"
"It means I don’t date Barbie dolls," Lon said tonelessly.
"Oh." Sally’s stomach started fluttering — it was very unsettling. "I’ll see you later, then."
"Okay. Have a good one…" Lon replied as Sally shut the car door behind her.
"You, too…" Sally waved as Lon pulled off, then drifted in through her front door.
"Who was that, Dear?" Eleanor Harkness asked her daughter.
"Hmm?" Sally stood in the entryway, looking shell-shocked.
"Who was the boy?"
"Um, well, he might be my boyfriend, maybe, someday…" Sally drifted off toward her room leaving her mother looking puzzled.
It took Sally over an hour to decide that telling Teela was inevitable, so she got on the phone. "Hey."
"Hey."
"I saw Lon Carpenter today," Sally kicked off.
"Yeah? Did he notice you?" Teela was scornful.
"Yeah, right off. He was nice again, too."
"He just wants in your panties…" Teela groused. "Wise up!"
"Well, he was a perfect gentleman for — what? — two hours?"
"TWO HOURS!" Teela exploded. "Where?"
"We saw that movie…"
"Oh, THAT movie!" Teela grunted.
"Yeah, you were right," Sally admitted. "Lon’s friend Rick said the same thing, apparently."
"Okay, so what did you two talk about?" Teela demanded.
"Oh, popcorn, his dubious intentions, that kind of thing…" Sally replied blithely.
Teela snorted. "What tale did he tell about THAT?"
"Well, he wouldn’t rule it out — but then he pointed out that if he was totally uninterested in sex that might be insulting. He said he was happy to settle for the movie, for the time being…" Sally replied.
"Slick," Teela grunted. "So, was this a date, or something?"
"Well, it didn’t start that way, but after he’d popped for forty bucks in movie tickets and snack bar stuff and drove me home, I kind of figured we could call it that…"
"I guess!" Teela agreed. "So, really, did you give him shit about what he was up to, or did you just roll over and go ga-ga on him?"
"I knew YOU would crap all over me if I didn’t, so I let him know I was suspicious! I asked him flat out Why me? — and you know, he had an answer!" Sally laughed.
"I gotta hear this!" Teela giggled.
Sally calmed down. "His face got this kinda funny look on it and he said experience had changed his outlook."
"Huh?" Teela grunted. "What does THAT mean?"
"I asked him, later," Sally related, "and he said, It means I don’t date Barbie dolls. Just like that."
"Wow! Weird…" Teela wasn’t happy with this development — but the whole way it was going papered over her more selfish interests. "What do you suppose he meant by that?"
"I dunno — maybe he had a bad experience with some hot chick?" Sally guessed.
"I think you need to know what’s going on in his head before you get in too deep with this guy," Teela ventured.
"Maybe," Sally agreed. "But you know, he was really cool for somebody just out to hunt down someone easy. I mean, I hit him with that — I said, straight out, like, Look, I’m not easy… ', and he was like, 'I thought we were going to a movie? He didn’t, like, lay any ego trips on me or anything — if he’s just looking for that, he’s SMOOTH!"