"Did he say he was gonna?"
"Yeah, sometime. When I’m ready. He’ll probably find a way to trick me into taking off my panties and sitting on his pole all by myself!" Teela rubbed her face.
Sally laughed. "Ya think?"
"He’s incredibly fucking sneaky…" She paused a moment. "That reminds me — we were discussing Lon’s motives, and he said basically, that sex was there, but it was part of the total package. So I called him a liar, and he’s like totally unruffled and says that Lon has already got getting laid handled — he doesn’t need to get tricky about it."
"Really?" Sally gasped. "What did he say, exactly?"
Teela thought about it — hard. "Um, he said that Lon had a steady supply of no-strings sex. Yeah, that was it. So I asked him if it was sheep, or what, and he said, no, they were females — and he got a dig in me about whether I was really female or not…"
"Oh." Sally was instantly concerned. "What about Rick? Does he have a steady supply, too?"
"Shit, I didn’t think to ask! What does it mean?"
"I don’t know," Sally mused. "But if it’s true, it certainly makes his tale that Lon isn’t just in it for my lily-white body a lot more believable. On the other hand, I’m kind of jealous…"
Teela grimaced. "Yeah. Has he called you?"
"No."
"Well, according to Rick, it’s not dead…"
"This is starting to get scary," Sally mused. "Did he say anything else about sex?"
"Umm, he said that Lon would want sex, and he knows what he likes and he’s going to want to be able to get it — but that sex wasn’t the whole enchilada."
"Well, what is?"
"Rick said Lon is seriously looking at trying you out as a girlfriend — the take out in public, go to the Prom with kind of girlfriend, not the I don’t know you in public kind. I’m … not certain of anything much any more, where Rick is concerned — but when he puts on his honest face and he’s not jerking my chain, he’s extremely believable … He was a different guy during that conversation. In the first place, he made sure we had it — and in the second, he wasn’t really thrilled, you know? It all added up…"
"Okay, but what on Earth does it mean?"
"Hell, I dunno…"
"What are you gonna do if Rick calls?"
"You make it sound like I have a choice!" Teela whined.
"You do!"
"No," Teela sighed, "I don’t. I probably won’t even bother to put on panties."
"You’ve got it that bad?"
"You weren’t there. I HAVE no defenses — and I don’t think I WANT any!"
"What if there’s … another…" Sally was obviously unhappy at the thought.
"I’m gonna do whatever it takes to put her into retirement!"
"Teela!" Sally blurted. "That’s insane!"
"Maybe. But if and when Lon calls, you think about it!" Teela retorted. "You WILL, too, if he’s under your skin at all!"
"Well, okay. Don’t go nuts!"
"No promises," Teela replied. "Thanks for the talk — I don’t think it helped — shit, I think going over it made it worse! But at least I know where I’m headed…"
"What about Lon?" Sally asked.
"I, ummm, withdraw my objections…"
"Teela?" Sally added, tentatively. "I … knew what you were up to…"
"Oh."
"It might have worked, eventually."
"Well, I think we’re both moving in another direction, now," Teela sighed. "I’m kind of hoping we’ll be better off…"
"Yeah." Sally heaved a sigh. "Bye!"
"Bye."
"Lon?"
"Yo! Hey, Rick! How’s it hangin'?"
"It’s kinda stiff right now…" Rick sighed into the phone. "I got a tiger by the tail, Man."
"Sounds like a story! Toby’s here — wanna tell him, too?"
"Might as well, although he missed Act One…"
"One sec." Lon muted the TV and put Rick on speaker. "So what’s up?"
"Teela."
"Teela?" Toby looked blank.
"Yeah…" Lon grimaced. "It’s like this, Man. We got the basics handled, but we need girlfriends — chicks our age we can date, you know? Your situation is kinda different, what with the way Jean is — maybe — but…"
"You’re hunting chicks?" Toby was floored. "What about…"
"It’s a separate issue," Lon insisted. "That’s gonna crash at some point; in the meantime, we’ve got to hold our heads up at school and stuff…"
"Well, you just can’t go telling some chick…"
" … Anything, basically. I’m not stupid!" Lon laughed.
Toby shook his head. "The flip side? If they find out ANYTHING, they’re gone — and if they find out EVERYTHING, we are, too! What were you thinking?"
Lon shrugged. "I guess we got beyond just getting our dicks wet. Look, dude, you need to bag this — nothing to Jean!" He pursed his lips. "If it goes well, I plan to make introductions…"
Toby shook his head. "I just don’t see that working!"
"I have a handle on it, Man! Relax!" Lon insisted. "It’s all sort of built on the chick!"
"Huh?"
"Well, I have a chick I’m working on. I like what I’m seeing when I look at her, but she’s … not your normal Barbie doll type…"
"I’ll say!" drifted over the phone from Rick.
"Who?" Toby asked.
"Sally Harkness."
Toby scratched his head. "Big, beefy looking chick, hangs out with Pendergast? The Goth chick?"
"Yeah."
"Okay…"
"At least you’re half-assed cool about it," Lon grunted. "Rick freaked!"
"Well, she isn’t ugly, or anything…" Toby hazarded.
"Except she’s from the land of the giants or something," Rick interjected.
"Oh," Toby chuckled. "That’s the problem?"
"Not for me…" Lon insisted.
"Well, I guess your opinion is the only one that counts. Let’s hear the rest of it…" Toby replied.
"Well, she’s not gonna be a bitch, and she’s gonna be a LOT more likely to go the extra mile than some Barbie doll," Lon mused. "I dunno, there’s something about her I like. I figure she’s … trainable…"
Toby thought about it. In his book, Sally was Grade B-- or maybe C — but he understood Lon’s thought process thoroughly. Sally would be much more attainable, and much more likely to put up with Lon’s failings in order to keep him. But was that enough, under the circumstances? "You better be DAMN careful!"
"Can we get back to MY problem?" Rick whined over the phone.
"Is it worse?" asked Toby.
"Maybe…"
"Okay, so, what is it, then?"
"Teela."
"Who is Teela?" Toby asked.
"You know, Pendergast. The Goth chick…"
Toby’s face went blank. "What?"
"Well, it makes sense, doesn’t it?" Lon laughed. "Those two run together! So what happened?"
"You remember the other day? How she went for the jugular, right away? Well, she saw me at the cinema…"
Lon laughed out loud. "You should have been there, Man! It was hilarious! She lit into me, and Rick just chewed her up and spit her out! Left her sitting on her butt on the mall floor, too! So, did she do it again?"
"Oh, yeah…" Rick agreed. "She came right at me like she was gonna swat me one! The mall rent-a-cop came over and was gonna toss her out, but I covered her ass. I fixed her ass, though — sucked on her neck with him standing there — she couldn’t freak because if she did, her ass was out…" He cracked up.
"Okay, sounds like fun, but I don’t see the problem…" Lon pressed.
"Well, it kind of followed that," Rick replied. "I kind of kept her locked down so we could talk about you guys — it was a handle, because she wanted to tell me what she thought of us perverts taking advantage of Sally and stuff … I basically kept finding ways to fuck her up like the other day — goad her a little, and wait for her to step in it, then make sure she bounced — that kind of thing — lots of it mental…"