"But…"
"Shhh! Hear me out! Sex is not a relationship. Sex can be part of a relationship, but it isn’t the whole ball of wax. Just because you have sex with someone, that doesn’t obligate you to be emotionally involved with them — do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Good. There are corollaries — we’ll get to them in a moment. Do we have a relationship?"
"I … hope so."
"Are you sure? Is it a relationship, or just sex?"
"I…" He was shredding her heart! "There is more, I think. I … want more…"
"So do I," Toby replied. "But we’re in dangerous waters here. For us to have a relationship, we both need to act like adults — and to do that, we need to be able to apply certain standards to things — and adhere to them. Do you understand?"
"No, I don’t."
"I’ll try to make things clear," Toby replied. "Our relationship is a danger to the group — it has a low probability of success and is therefore a threat to the other four. For us to be exclusive is another stress on the group; it unbalances things. We need to minimize this."
Jean frowned. What was he getting at? "Okay."
"Are we clear that sex is not a relationship?" Toby pressed.
"Yes." 'I guess… '
"Okay. Enjoying sex with Lon is not a betrayal of our relationship — as long as you don’t have a relationship with Lon. Do you understand?" Toby eyed her.
"It isn’t?"
"No, it isn’t. It’s just sex — unless you and Lon become emotionally dependent upon each other in some way. And you should enjoy sex — I WANT you to enjoy sex!"
"I don’t understand!"
Toby knelt and took her hands. "I’m saying that you are free to have sex with Lon as long as you approach it right."
"But I don’t WANT to have sex with Lon!" Jean wailed.
"No, you don’t want to have a relationship with Lon — that’s different," Toby insisted.
"Well, both, actually," Jean replied, frowning.
Toby nodded. "I understand. But I need for you to take a step back and look at this thing more objectively."
"Okay." Why is he pushing me at Lon?
"We have to look at the group dynamic," Toby explained. "The six of us are a closed system — but we’re not balanced. Ma and Candace are working on a balance thing — but Ma has just been let out of her box and she’s going to bounce around a lot. Viewed from a balance perspective, having Candace put Ma through her paces is a good thing, because it meets each of their needs. Understand?"
"Well…" Jean shook her head. It was wild and kinky stuff…
"Now, from the group standpoint, we have needs and we’re working to meet them — but those needs threaten the group’s balance. A serious relationship between a woman your age and a man my age is not likely to succeed, long-term. This threatens the others. If we’re exclusive with one another, that denies outlets to Lon and Candace — arguably the most dangerous and unpredictable members of the group — and Candace, in particular, won’t put up with that, so she’ll do everything in her power to screw us up — and Lon will help! If you lean on Rick, he’ll help, too, just like he did today — and Ma is along for the ride, at this point. That puts everyone in the group against us, as well as the rest of the world!"
'Here it comes, ' Jean thought. 'The breakup — for our own good… '
But Toby didn’t go there. "For our relationship to succeed, we need to minimize the impacts on the group — and that means being able to differentiate between just having sex and having a relationship." His eyes bored into hers. "In order for me to keep Candace under control, I need to have sex with her occasionally — if only to remind her that there are downsides to it. I need for you to understand and not be jealous; Candace and I don’t have a relationship."
"Well, you do, really," Jean pointed out. "Sex IS a relationship, and even with Candace, it isn’t just sex…"
"Okay, that’s fair," Toby granted. "But it isn’t what we’re doing, either. It’s about sex, and it’s about control, not about … love…"
Jean froze. He said it! The L word!
Toby watched Jean take a deep, shaky breath, then pressed, "You see the difference, right?"
"Yes, Toby."
"To minimize the threat to the group and to minimize the threat FROM the group, we can’t be sexually exclusive. I need to use sex to keep Candace in line. And YOU need to use sex to keep LON in line!"
"Oh, I dunno…"
"Did he hurt you?"
"No."
"Was it good?"
"Well, yes…"
"Was it more than sex?"
"No. Less, actually."
"Then I have no need to be jealous," Toby insisted. "What Lon asks of you is not what we have — it’s just an opportunity to make you both feel good. That’s okay. You’re going to need to have sex with Lon occasionally to keep the group happy and in balance — and there is no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy it."
"I … I don’t think I can," Jean replied. "Not after today. I can’t just let that slide…"
"Nor can I," Toby grated. Jean looked up — thunder and lightning were rumbling and flashing in his eyes. "I will get even with Lon for today — I have a plan. But you need to help me by at least appearing to put the whole thing aside — for the good of our relationship, and for the good of the group. Can you?"
"I … Maybe. Not today."
"No, not today. We’ll give it a few days. But at some point, you’re going to have to a least pretend to accept his apology," Toby insisted.
"You think he’ll apologize?" Jean asked.
"Profusely," Toby confirmed. "If only because he knows he stabbed me in the back." His eyes bored into hers. "I know that it is alien to your nature — you’ve made that clear. But it can only help us if you can come out and participate in the group’s games. Things will lighten up and be a lot less tense."
Jean nodded. "I’ll try. I’m not the orgy type, but I’ll give it a shot."
"Good."
"Toby, are you sure that this is okay?" Jean’s eyes pled. "This isn’t just some long goodbye…"
Toby smiled. "It isn’t. It’s a rational approach to a touchy problem. Can I stay the night? Rick is with Ma…"
"Oh! YES!!!" Jean leaped up and wrapped herself around her lover.
Chapter 19
Posted: February 21, 2009 - 01:29:38 pm
Early Sunday morning, Candace knocked on Jean’s door — the quicker she could drive a wedge between Jean and Toby, the quicker things would settle down…
But Toby answered the door — and that put THAT idea to bed… "Oh!" Candace exclaimed. "You’re here!"
"Yes…" Toby agreed. "Why are YOU here?"
Obviously, the initial plan was by the boards… "Um, I thought I’d give Jean a shoulder to cry on and some advice, then we could talk about what to do about Lon."
"I’d like to be in on THAT conversation," Toby announced as he backed up to let Candace in.
"Toby? Who is it, Dear?" Jean stuck her head around the corner.
"Our favorite rapist’s mother," Toby shot back.
Candace flinched. "This was NOT my idea!" she declared. "I stick my oar in sometimes and stir things up — but Lon came up with THIS one ALL BY HIMSELF!"
Jean rolled her eyes and stepped around the corner, displaying a short nightie and a distinctly bowlegged gait. "Come on in. Coffee?"
Candace tilted her head, watching Jean’s waddle as she made for the kitchen. "Did Lon hurt you, Honey? I’ll ground him until he’s forty!"