“Your... what did you say?”
“We had an island, she and I.”
“I want to hear about it!”
I popped out with that pretty loud, and pulled away from him so the sheet slid off and I was naked again. He looked at me very strange but got the sheet from the floor, put it over me again, and went on, “When the water was analyzed, of Dickinson’s Run on my place, it was right for fermenting grain, but to pump it I had to dam up the stream. So, of course, that made a lake, but when the water rose an island was made out there, a beautiful green knoll, full of laurel and pine and oak, just out from the shore. They opened the sluiceway at sunrise, and by noon when we got there, your mother and I in the car, with the picnic lunch she had made, the island was already formed, with the lake rising fast. We sat there talking about it, how it would be our place, our love nest that we would have, where we’d hold hands and be happy. I said, ‘We’re starting tomorrow, soon as the bridge is put in. The lumber is being delivered today, construction will take no more than two hours, and then romance can begin. It won’t be anything fancy, just a footbridge two boards wide. But it’ll have a handrail on it, in case the lady gets stewed.’” He explained, “That was a gag we had, that occasionally she got stewed. She didn’t, but she liked a glass of champagne.”
“Two glasses, Mr. Wilmer.”
“So OK, she liked a whole bottle!”
“And then had to go wee-wee.”
On that we both burst out crying, holding each other close. Then, like with her that day, I could taste the salt of his tears. I said, “Go on about the island. Are we going to go there too? Is it going to be our island?”
“Don’t you want to be near her, Mandy?”
“Oh yes! And near you, too.”
“So we were kidding alone when trouble appeared or what looked like trouble to her. Five deer — a stag, three does, and a fawn — stepped out of the brush over there, walked to the edge of a lake they’d never seen before, and started looking unhappy. And she started looking unhappy. I said, ‘Hey! Quit screwing your face up like that! And besides, what are they glawming about? In the first place, there’s plenty to eat over there, laurel and dogwood and grass, and plenty of water to drink. In the second place, the bridge will be built tomorrow, and if it’s good enough for you it’s good enough for them — and they don’t even drink champagne!’ And more of the same. She said, ‘Well, I haven’t said anything?’ Unfortunately, Mandy, she could talk louder saying nothing than anyone else can whooping. And then, anticlimax, here came the deer, swimming. Or at least four of them did, the stag and the three does. But the fawn was afraid and hung back. So, of course, his mother had to go back. The three others paid no attention, but when they reached our side they went on to the salt lick that was down the hill from us. But on the far bank it kind of tore your heart, the doe’s efforts to lead Junior in, and his fear of the water. I chimed in with more of the same, ‘No reason, no reason at all, that he can’t stay right where he is. Tomorrow he’ll cross in style.’
“And then, Mandy, disaster struck.
“On our side, a dog appeared on the shore, just a cur, just a wild dog. They’re a feature you don’t think much about, but they’re murder just the same to all wild things in the woods. He didn’t bark, a very bad sign, just pricked up his ears and plunged in. It took him no more than half a minute to swim those twenty yards, but when he walked out and shook himself, Mama was waiting for him. A deer’s no match for a dog, and all she could do was strike at him with her front hooves, but he had to deal with her before he could kill the fawn, which he at once proceeded to do, charging at her, growling, and snapping. So then he got a surprise. Do you know what it was, Mandy?”
“Mother, I would say.”
“That’s right, Mandy, you guessed it. That dog had hardly showed when she was out of the car, scrambling down the hill to the water’s edge. She whipped off her dress, hit the drink, came out, and faced the dog. He tore in, growling and snapping at her legs, but she grabbed him back of the ears, mashed his head to the ground, and then got hold of his tail. Mandy, she swung him like some kind of a hammer, like in the hammer throw of some non-Olympic games! One, two, three, around and around and around, and then she let him go. So he was yipping up in the air as he sailed over the lake, but she didn’t even wait to hear him splash. She grabbed that little fawn, and with Mama pushing alongside, trotting, splashing, and swimming, she brought him across to our side, where he went trotting off to have his turn at the salt lick. She didn’t know what fear was!”
At that, he burst out crying again, and I did. He said, “Mandy, she loved jokes and music and dancing. Pleasure people are brave people! Laughing is brave!”
“Don’t hold back, let it come!” I told him in between sobs. “I love you. Now I know you’re my father. Now I do!”
I kissed him then, on the mouth, holding him close so he would know I was his. When our crying had kind of died off, he said he would go to court and acknowledge me so I could use his name, which he did and I did. So now I’m Amanda Wilmer, five foot two, 36-24-35, of Lacuvidere, Rocky Ridge, Maryland. It was at Lacuvidere, a beautiful, beautiful place, a one-story white house overlooking the lake, with a veranda like at Mount Vernon, that they held the first service for her. Then the bearers carried her down and across, holding her high on the bridge so they could go single file. I almost died when I heard “Dust to dust,” and the minister crumbled earth on the coffin. But then my father touched me, and he was crying too but looking in a direction he wanted me to look, and when I did, there was a little fawn, another little fawn, a tiny spotted thing that couldn’t have been more than one day old, lying under a tree, holding still so as not to be seen. And I knew what was in his mind: that in the little creature a new life was starting out, and it seemed a beautiful thing that it should be staring at her as they lowered her into the grave.
That’s all. I’ve told it.