Keiko pressed her hands to her forehead. “Just what sort of country is Japan, anyway?”
I had no answer for such a question. I’m sure she wasn’t really expecting one. I said, “Learning about the military and some bureaucrats back then puts me into a dark mood, but nameless people gave it their all as always. I think this country was and is carried on their backs. I think the NCOs and enlisted men truly fought hard. Setting aside whether fighting well in a war is such a good thing, they carried out their duties to the fullest.”
“They all fought as best they could for the sake of the country.” Keiko turned to look out the window into the darkness outside. Her reflection in the glass showed a grim expression. With a sigh she said, “I think Hasegawa-san, who’d lost his arm, understandably felt some deep-seated resentment.”
“He couldn’t bear a grudge towards his country, so he must have transferred it onto our grandfather instead.”
“I’m sure people were very cold to him, too. Far from expressing gratitude to him for his sacrifices, they might have seen his having lost an arm as just punishment for a career soldier.”
I nodded. “So forgive him for speaking ill of Grandfather Miyabe.”
“I know.” Keiko cracked a small smile, but then her expression darkened again. “At any rate, the higher-ups in the Japanese military really thought of the troops as nothing more than tools.”
“And the prime example of that was the kamikazes.”
I imagined my grandfather’s chagrin and closed my eyes.
Chapter 8
Cherry Blossoms
A few days later, I called my sister’s cell. “Hey, I just got in touch with someone who was in a kamikaze unit.”
Keiko made a surprised sound.
“He says he knew Grandfather,” I added.
But her response was wholly unexpected. She didn’t want to come.
“Why not?”
She didn’t reply.
“Don’t you want to hear from someone who was actually in one?”
“I do. But then again, I can’t bear listening to more sad stories about our grandfather,” she fumed. “I did some research on the kamikazes on my own. It was so painful that I had to stop reading.”
“I understand.”
“The former kamikaze guy might talk about when Grandfather was sent out. I won’t be able to take it. I mean, can you sit there calmly if he does, Kentaro?”
“Well, of course it’d be hard for me to hear,” I said. “But I feel like there’s something at work that’s bringing us together. This person called Kyuzo Miyabe, who went unknown for sixty years, is beginning to show himself to me now.”
I heard Keiko swallow her breath.
“I think it’s something of a miracle. I can’t help but feel like it was a turn of the wheel of fortune that we started this research project now, just when all those people who fought in the war are departing from the stage of history. Had it been even five years later, I think Kyuzo Miyabe would have quietly passed into time. That’s why I feel like I ought to hear from everyone who once knew him.”
After a moment, Keiko said, “Gee, you’ve really changed, Kentaro.”
“I do see how you might find it too painful. It’s not like I don’t feel that way at all. Anyway, I’ll go by myself this time.”
Keiko fell silent.
“Have you said yes to Takayama-san yet?” I asked my sister, who was in the passenger’s seat as I drove along. Former Ensign Masao Okabe’s house was located in Narita, Chiba Prefecture, a little east of Tokyo, so I’d borrowed Mom’s car.
“Not yet, but I’m planning on saying yes.” The day before, Keiko had called to say that she’d changed her mind and that she’d come after all.
After turning onto the expressway I said, “Weren’t you actually in love with Fujiki-san, sis?”
Keiko looked at me in astonishment.
“I can tell you this now. Totally by accident, I saw you crying next to him that one time.”
Keiko didn’t say anything. A gulf of silence opened up between us. I turned up the A/C.
“Can you listen without laughing at me? It’s true, I had a crush on Fujiki-san. My dream was that he’d pass the bar exam and marry me. So it was a shock when I heard that he was giving up on the bar and moving back home. I had just gotten a job, so I begged him not to leave.”
“Were you two seeing each other?”
She shook her head. “We’d never even held hands, he’d never confessed any feelings for me, and we’d never gone out on a date. So we weren’t lovers or anything.”
“Oh, I see.”
“It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that my tears were my confession of love.” Keiko gave a slightly sad smile. “But he left. And he never asked me to go with him or to wait for him.”
Of course not. Fujiki would never, I thought. He wasn’t the type to demand that of her when it was clear that his life wouldn’t be rosy.
“Do you regret it?”
“Regret? Why would I? I think I made the right decision. I’m glad he didn’t ask me to move with him to the countryside. I was just a kid back then, so I might have turned down my job offer and gone with him.” She laughed out loud at that. “Did you know that his ironworks is doing pretty poorly?”
I nodded.
“If I’d married him, I’d have struggled terribly.” She pulled a pack of cigarettes from her handbag and lit one.
I was a little surprised. “You’ve started smoking?”
“Never in front of Mom, though.” She cracked the window, letting in a stream of hot air. “By the way, Fujiki-san called me yesterday. He asked me to marry him.”
For a moment this didn’t even register.
“I wrote him a letter recently, saying that I might get married. The first letter I’d ever written to him. Ten days later, he called me.”
“What the hell are you thinking?!” I shouted at her.
She flinched in shock. I realized I was coming up fast on the car ahead of me and hurriedly slammed on the brakes.
“Are you just trying to get revenge on him for leaving you?”
“I’m not thinking about revenge at all. I just wanted to get closure. Stop yelling at me and watch the darn road!”
“And how did you answer him?!”
“I turned him down, of course.”
I moved into the passing lane and stepped on the gas. Keiko fell quiet. I thought about how Fujiki must be feeling, and my chest tightened.
Neither of us spoke a word again until we turned off the expressway.
Former Ensign Masao Okabe had served four terms as a member of Chiba’s prefectural assembly. Before that, he had spent many years on the prefecture’s board of education. When I first learned of his career, I was surprised that a former kamikaze had become an assemblyman. But on further thought, it wasn’t the slightest bit strange. Back then, all young men had served in the military, and most of those who bore postwar Japan on their shoulders were former soldiers. So it wasn’t so bizarre that there were former kamikazes among them.
Okabe lived in a quiet residential neighborhood in Narita. His was a small, snug house, not at all what one might expect of a former four-term prefectural assemblyman.
“Pretty ordinary house,” Keiko said, echoing my thoughts.
I pressed the buzzer to the side of the doorway. The door immediately opened, revealing the face of an elderly man of small stature.
The ex-kamikaze was totally bald. He smiled broadly, giving a very affable impression. I had pictured a more imposing man since he’d been a local politician, and I felt silly for having been on guard.
“My wife is at the community center teaching flower arrangement today, so I can’t really offer you much,” Okabe said as he led us into a Japanese-style room. “We’re just two old folks living here, so I’m not too sure what I should serve to you young people.” He brought out some cider.