‘You don’t think I’d leave that to anyone else, do you?’
Now she came to mention it, he didn’t. Even though they both knew Madame Cardui would leave no stone unturned in her search for their daughter, there was not the slightest chance Blue would leave something like that to anybody other than herself.
‘So you’re going to look for Mella and your doppleganger will…?’
‘Rule the Realm in my place,’ Blue said triumphantly. ‘Well, sort of. She’ll keep people from thinking I’ve gone off and left the Palace unattended. Then, when I get back, I’ll get rid of her and take over again and nobody will be any the wiser.’
That just raised so many questions he hardly knew where to start. Eventually he said, ‘She’s going – she’ll be – I don’t even know her name -’
‘Blue,’ Blue said. ‘Her name is Blue. Same as mine.’ She gave him a kindly look. ‘If you’re getting confused, you can call her Orange.’
Henry looked at her, frowning. ‘Why Orange?’
‘Complementary colour.’ Blue grinned at him.
‘How?’ Henry asked. ‘How is she going to rule the Realm?’
‘She’s not really,’ Blue said patiently. ‘She’ll just be a figurehead until I get back. She’s perfectly fine for that job – she knows everything I do.’
‘She doesn’t know where I keep my birthmark,’ Henry muttered.
‘Not intimate things like that. She won’t know about birthmarks. But all the important things, how to wave from an ouklo, how to shake hands with visiting dignitaries – she knows those sort of things.’
‘How are you going to get rid of her?’
Blue looked puzzled. ‘I don’t want to get rid of her. I’ve only just managed to get hold of her.’
‘When you’ve finished and you want to take over ruling the Realm again. How are you going to get rid of her then?’
Blue shrugged. ‘I’ll just tell her to go.’
Henry leaned towards her. ‘And what happens if she doesn’t want to go?’ he whispered. ‘What happens if she likes being Queen? What are you going to do then – kill her?’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Blue told him sharply. All the same, he knew from her expression the question had shaken her.
Henry moved to press home his advantage. ‘Suppose she decides to have you put in jail? The Palace guards will do what she tells them. They may be a bit confused, but they’ll obey her, especially if she’s sitting on the throne or wearing your crown. She could take the whole Realm away from you just like that!’ He clicked his fingers.
Blue stared at him. After a moment, she said, ‘We can set up safeguards. I’ll talk to Madame Cardui.’
‘There’s another thing,’ Henry told her.
‘What?’ Blue asked impatiently. She clearly disliked being brought down to earth about her little scheme.
‘While you’re off looking for Mella,’ Henry said carefully, ‘what am I supposed to do about my… ah… duties?’
‘Your duties?’
‘Keep your voice down!’ Henry whispered. ‘You know, my… duties. ’ He cleared his throat and swallowed. ‘My… marital duties.’
Blue was looking at him in astonishment. ‘Your marital duties?’ The look dissolved into a grin and she giggled. ‘Your marital duties?’
‘Will you keep your voice down!’ Henry hissed. ‘If we’re to pretend your doppleganger is you, if we’re to do that and nobody is to suspect, then she and I would have to… you know…’
‘No, I don’t know,’ Blue said loudly. ‘What would you and she have to do?’
‘Share the same quarters,’ Henry told her. ‘Share the same bedroom. For heaven’s sake, Blue, you haven’t thought this through at all!’
‘Henry, there’s no way you and she are going to share the same bed, even if she looks like me.’
‘I didn’t say bed, I said bedroom. ’
‘Yes, but you meant bed, didn’t you?’
‘Yes,’ Henry said. ‘Yes, I did. If this lunati-’ He caught himself in time and hurriedly amended, ‘- if this idea of yours is going to work, I will have to behave towards your doppleganger exactly the same way I behave to you. Exactly. Otherwise people will notice, start asking questions, start wondering what’s going on. So she and I would have to be… you know… affectionate with one another. Kiss each other occasionally, like we do. Hug and stuff. Sleep… sleep together. With one another. The way we do.’
Blue looked at him innocently. ‘And you think of all that as your marital duty? ’
‘Well, not duty, exactly. That’s just a turn of phrase. But it’s the sort of thing that would be expected.’ He looked at her soberly, then ended piously, ‘And I don’t want to sleep with anybody but you.’
‘Relax, superstud,’ Blue said cheerfully. ‘All that’s been taken care of.’
‘Yes, but people will expect -’ He stopped as a man walked out of the adjoining dressing room, wearing Henry’s dressing gown.
‘It won’t be just me looking for Mella,’ Blue told him. ‘It will be the two of us. Together.’
The man smiled and gave a little wave. Henry stared at his doppleganger. ‘Oh my God!’ he said.
Twelve
Mella gave a sickly smile. ‘Fairyland? I don’t know what you mean.’
‘I think you know exactly what I mean,’ Aisling said. ‘You’re not from New Zealand, are you? I don’t suppose you even know where New Zealand is.’
‘Yes, I do!’ said Mella hotly. ‘New Zealand is an island nation in the South Pacific. It is a remote land. One of the last sizable territories suitable for habitation to be populated and settled, it lies more than 1,000 miles – that’s 1,600 kilometres – southeast of Australia, its nearest neighbour. The country comprises two main islands – the North and South islands – and a number of small islands, some of them hundreds of miles from the main group. The capital city is Wellington and the largest urban area is Auckland, both located on the North Island. New Zealand administers the South Pacific island group of Tokelau and claims a section of the Antarctic continent. Niue and the Cook Islands are self-governing states in free association with New Zealand.’ She’d memorised the speech word for word from the Encyclopaedia Britannica and could easily have gone on about the country’s geographical features if she hadn’t run out of breath. Not that it would have done her much good. She could tell from her aunt’s expression that Aisling wasn’t buying it.
‘Your father isn’t living in New Zealand either, is he?’ Aisling asked.
Mella opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again and said, ‘Ah -’ She knew at once she’d hesitated too long, but by that point there was nothing she could do about it.
‘I knew it!’ Aisling exclaimed. ‘I absolutely knew it, the lying little toad!’ She looked around the room with pursed lips. ‘He was always the same, always sneaking away doing things and not telling Mummy. So selfish.’ She glared at Mella.
To cover her confusion, Mella took a long drink of her tea. Her mind was racing as she tried to figure how she was going to talk her way out of this one. She stared at Aunt Aisling, eyes wide. ‘Ah… ah… I… ah…’ she said. It was funny, but just the hint of a smile was beginning to play around Aisling’s lips. A smile of triumph.
But then Mella suddenly realised it didn’t matter. What did she care if Aunt Aisling knew she was from the Faerie Realm? (What did she call it? Fairyland?) What did she care if the whole world knew about her father? It wasn’t as if anybody could do anything to him. Mella took another swig of tea and felt a really, really nice warm feeling in her stomach. Nice warm feeling. It wasn’t as if Grandmother was going to spank him. Mella burped slightly and giggled. He was a grown man now, a big boy. No spanking for him any more. Besides, if Grandmother tried to spank him she’d have Mella’s mother to contend with. And Mella’s mother was a Queen.
Mella took another huge drink of tea, reached for the pot and poured herself some more. Tea was so nice. It made you feel relaxed and cheerful, both at the same time. It made you feel big and strong, which she was, of course, so she didn’t have to worry about Aunt Aisling finding out anything. Not about her father, not about her.