“I wouldn’t want Charlie to think we’re quarreling, that’s all.”
“But we are quarreling. Why shouldn’t he think so? If he’s a responsible adult—”
“Stop repeating that phrase.”
“Why? Because it doesn’t fit him, and you can’t bear listening to the truth?”
“Stop it, Ben, please. This isn’t the time.”
“This is the very time,” he said soberly. “Right now, this minute, you’ve got to figure out how you really feel about Charlie. Sure, you love him, we both do. But you’re not committed to him the way I am, or to put it bluntly, you’re not stuck with him. You still have a chance to change your mind, to get away. Do it, Louise.”
“I can’t.”
“For your own sake, you’d better try. Walk out of here now and don’t look back. For nearly a year you’ve been dreaming, and I’ve been letting you. Now the alarm’s ringing, it’s time to wake up and start moving. Beat it, Louise.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I’m asking,” he said, “that one out of this trio gets a chance to survive. It won’t be Charlie and it can’t be me. That leaves you, Louise. Use your chance, for my sake if not your own. I’d like to think of you as being happy in the future, leading a nice, uncomplicated life.”
“There’s no such thing.”
“You won’t leave?”
“No.”
“Then God help you.” He went over to the window and stood with his back to Louise so she wouldn’t see the tears welling in his eyes. “A little girl disappeared last night. One person in this neighborhood has already mentioned Charlie in connection with the crime. There’ll be others, not just common gossips like Forster, but men with authority. Whatever Charlie has or hasn’t done, it’s going to be rough on him, and on you, too, if you stick around.”
“I’m sticking.”
“Yes, I was afraid you would. Why? Do you want to be a martyr?”
“I want to be Charlie’s wife.”
“It’s the same thing.”
“Don’t try to destroy my confidence completely, Ben,” she said. “It would be easy, I don’t have very much. But what I have may help Charlie and perhaps you, too, in the days to come.”
“Days? You’re thinking in terms of days? What about the months, years—”
“They’re composed of days. I choose to think of them in that way. Now,” she added in a gentler voice, “do I get your blessing, Ben?”
“You get everything I have to offer.”
“Thank you.”
She turned toward the doorway, hearing Charlie’s step in the hall. It sounded brisk and lively as if he’d had an abrupt change of mood in the past ten minutes. When he came in she noticed that he was freshly shaved and wearing his good suit and the tie she’d given him for his birthday. He looked surprised when he saw that she was still there, and she wondered whether he’d expected her to leave, and if so, why he’d taken the trouble to get all dressed up. He was carrying the evening newspaper. It was crumpled and torn as though it had been used to swat flies.
He put it down carefully on the coffee table, his eyes fixed on Ben. “I found it after all, Ben. Right after you left to buy one I decided to go out and search for it again, and sure enough there it was, hidden behind that shrub with the pink flowers. Remember what we used to call it when we were kids, Ben? High biscuits. I used to think that it actually had biscuits on it but they were up so high I couldn’t see them.”
“I looked under the hibiscus,” Ben said.
“You must have missed it. It was there.”
“It wasn’t there.”
“You... you could have made a mistake, Ben. You were complaining about your eyes last week. Anyway, it’s such a small thing, we shouldn’t be raising all this fuss about it in front of Louise.”
“Louise better get used to it. And if it’s such a small thing, why are you lying about it?”
“Well, I... well, maybe it didn’t happen exactly like that.” The muscles of Charlie’s throat were working, as if he was trying to swallow or unswallow something large and painful and immovable. “When I got home I picked up the paper and took it into my room to read.”
“Why? You’re not usually interested.”
“I saw the headline about the little girl, and the picture. I wanted to study it, to make sure before — before going to the police.”
Ben stared at him in silence for a moment, then he repeated, “Before going to the police. Is that what you said?”
“Yes. I’m sure now — the face, the clothes, her name and address. I’m very sure. That’s why I got dressed up, so I’ll make a good impression at headquarters. You’ve always told me how necessary a good impression is. Do I look O.K.?”
“You look dandy. You’ll make a dandy impression... Jesus Godalmighty, what are you trying to do to me, to yourself? It isn’t enough that—”
“But I’m only doing what I have to, Ben. The paper said any witnesses should come forward and tell what they know. And I’m a witness. That’s funny, isn’t it? I always wanted to be somebody and now I finally am. I’m a witness. That’s pretty important, according to the paper. I may even be the only one in the whole city, can you beat that?”
“No. I don’t think anyone can. This time you’ve really done it, you’ve set a new high.”
Charlie’s smile was strained, a mixture of pride and anxiety.
“Well, I didn’t actually do anything, I just happened to be there when she came out of the house. The police are wrong about which house she came out of. It wasn’t her own, the way the paper said. It was the one—”
“You just happened to be there, eh, Charlie?”
“Yes.”
“In your car?”
“Yes.”
“Was the car parked?”
“I... I’m not sure but I think I may have been only passing by, very slowly.”
“Very, very slowly?”
“I think so. I may have stopped for a minute when I saw her on account of I was surprised. It was so late and she shouldn’t have been out. Her parents should have taken better care of her, not letting her run wild on the streets past ten o’clock, no one to protect her.”
“Did you offer to protect her, Charlie?”
“Oh no.”
“Did you talk to her at all?”
“No. I may have sort of spoken her name out loud because I was so surprised to see her, it being late and cold and lonely.” He broke off suddenly, frowning. “You’re mixing me up with your questions. You’re getting me off the subject. That’s not the important part, how I happened to be there and what I did. The important thing is, she didn’t come out of her own house. The police think she did, so it’s my duty to straighten them out. I bet they’ll be very glad to have some new evidence.”
“I just bet they will,” Ben said. “Go to your room, Charlie.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Go to your room.”
“I can’t do that. I’m a witness, they need me. They need me, Ben.”
“Then they’ll have to come and get you.”
“You’re interfering with justice. That’s a very wrong thing to do.”
“Justice? What kind of justice do you think is in store for you, when you can’t even tell them what you were doing outside the girl’s house, or whether you were parked there or just passing by?”
“You’ve got it all wrong, Ben. They’re not after me, I didn’t do anything.”
Ben turned away. He wanted to hit Charlie with his fist, he wanted to weep or to run shrieking out into the street. But all he could do was stand with his face to the wall, wishing he were back on the street corner where he could pretend he was anyone, going any place, at any hour of the day or night.