From their chagrined expressions, they did know. But it was clear they were also confused.
“Why would you do it now of all times?” exclaimed Sonya. “When you knew we still needed you?”
He focused back on her, holding his ground. “Did I know that? I did my part–a big part. I had no idea it’d come to this. Besides, what time should I have waited for? When I was about to jump off a bridge?”
The words hit Sonya like a slap in the face. “Of course not. But . . . there are other ways to cope . . .”
Adrian laughed. “Yeah? Alcohol poisoning? Cutting? Turn‑ing Strigoi?”
It was a cruel thing to say to Lissa and Sonya, but neither of them could muster an argument. Nina was the one who spoke up, confusion in her gray eyes. “But how can you stand to be away from the magic? The rush? Don’t you miss it?”
“Yes,” he said bluntly. “But other things in my life are more important.”
My legs grew weak, and I backed up, settling down into a plush armchair. I clasped my hands together to stop them from shaking.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t help this time, but none of you have the right to judge me,” Adrian added. There was a strength and conviction in his voice that I doubt any of them had seen before. “This is my life, and there’s nothing you can say to change my mind–unless Her Majesty wants to give a royal command for me to stop.”
Lissa blanched. “Of course not.”
Everything was kind of weird after that.
I kept my distance from the others, and this time, no one seemed to notice or care. Adrian became the new attraction. Sonya and Lissa apologized, and Nina tried to engage him about what it was like. He shot me another pained look from across the room, and I had to glance away because my confusion was too great.
And as the night progressed, it became clear to me they weren’t going to give him up anytime soon. The spirit users wanted to know more about Adrian and the pills. Everyone else wanted to know what the next step with Neil was. My role was done, and when exhaustion began weighing me down, I quietly slipped out of the room to go get some sleep. I knew travel arrangements were being made for later tomorrow, so no one would need me right away. The nice thing about being forced onto this schedule was that I was so legitimately tired that my body wasn’t going to let my mind keep me awake with questions. And believe me, I had plenty. I needed to understand the Adrian of long ago. I needed to understand the Adrian I loved. And I needed to understand why he hadn’t told me he was facing one of his greatest fears by taking a prescription.
Tears sprang to the corner of my eyes and then began to freeze. I stopped in the middle of a walkway leading through some ornamental trees and tried to wipe my face as best as I could.
“Hey, are you okay?”
I jerked my head up at the unfamiliar voice. Well, not entirely unfamiliar. A young man materialized from the trees, and a moment later, a second joined him. Tired and emotionally frayed, I didn’t recognize them at first. Then, I realized they were Adrian’s friends–or, well, ex‑friends–from the café. I stiffened, suddenly wide awake and alert.
And terrified.
“Sydney, right?” It was the guy who’d first spoken. “I’m–”
“Wesley,” I said. “I remember.”
“You do? That’s great. Then you must remember Lars too.”
The faint light of a lamppost a little ways away filtered through the branches of a tree above us, lighting up his face as he grinned in what he probably thought was a friendly manner. I didn’t need him to get any closer to know he was drunk–just like he had been yesterday. Was that what Adrian used to be like? Waking up and going from one state of intoxication to another? It was a pathetic, dismal life.
“Where are you headed?” asked Lars. “You need directions?”
“I’m just going back to my room to get some sleep.” I pointed at the building, which suddenly seemed very far away. “Right over there.”
“Sleep?” Lars laughed. “That’s right. You’re on a flipped schedule. Look, why don’t you come out with us? Live it up while you’re here. We’ll get you some caffeine and hit some parties.”
“Or if you want something quieter, we could just go back to my place and talk.” That was Wesley, and he seemed to be having a difficult time sounding serious and responsible.
“No, thank you,” I said, shifting a little. It put me two steps closer to my building. Unfortunately, I probably had about two hundred more to go. “I’m really tired.”
Lars nudged Wesley. “See, this is what happens when you get stuck with Adrian as a tour guide. It makes you feel satisfied with boredom.”
“Adrian’s not boring,” I said. “Especially–from what I hear–the way he used to be.”
Wesley scoffed. “Even then, he never let loose like the rest of us.”
“We can tell you everything about him if you want,” exclaimed Lars, apparently feeling inspired. He glanced past me briefly and then fixed his eyes back on mine. “We’ll tell you all you need to know. Let’s go back to Wesley’s.”
“No, thank you,” I said. I already knew all I needed to know about Adrian, primarily that he was nothing like these losers. “I have to go.” I made no attempts at subtlety and began hurrying toward the building.
“Hey, wait,” offered Lars. He moved with remarkable speed for someone so intoxicated. He caught hold of my arm, just as two startling thoughts came to me. Why do they keep looking behind me? And weren’t there three of them before?
I started to turn around, just as that third person came up behind me and clamped a hand over my mouth. That split second of anticipation was enough to trigger some instinctual Wolfe training. I kicked backward into Brent and had the satisfaction of hearing, “Oof!” His hand slipped on my mouth, giving me a chance at another Wolfe tactic: screaming for help.
Old Alchemist fears, bred into me since birth, reared up. Here it was, the evil we’d always been warned about: vampires coming after me in the night. Creatures of hell, intent on drinking my blood when I was alone and vulnerable. For a moment, fear and panic crippled me. Then, a strong voice inside me spoke up: You are not vulnerable. You are not out of options. Now, RUN! But when I tried to run away, I discovered that Lars had a surprisingly strong grip on me. Wesley appeared on my other side and attempted to help his friend in restraining me. “We have to get out of here,” gasped Brent.
“No,” said Wesley. “It’s not too late. We can get her back to my place and make sure she doesn’t remem–”
You are not vulnerable.
Magic stirred within me, surging out and upward to the tree above us. A limb, already heavy with snow, gave way easily to my power and came crashing down on Lars. It was enough to grant my freedom, and I broke away. Wesley stood between me and my building, so I ran the opposite direction, knowing I only had to stay away long enough for some patrolling guardian to come. Surely someone had heard me.
As it turned out, someone had heard me. Adrian emerged near the path I was running on, wielding a limb similar to the one I’d just summoned. I came to a halt as he put himself between me and the other three, who also slowed their pursuit.
“What are you doing?” demanded Wesley.
“Practicing my treejitsu skills. You’ve probably never heard of it, but believe me, it’s enough to knock you on your ass and wipe that smug look off your face.”
A typical Adrian remark, even in a dire situation. Yet, despite his flippant tone, there was a hard look on his face that I rarely saw, a look that said even if there was an army standing in front of us, he would still defy them with a tree branch if they tried to lay a hand on me. Tension filled the air around us as our adversaries contemplated their next move. Even drunk and uncoordinated, they might still have an advantage if they decided to rush us with brute force. Adrian and I probably had enough collective Wolfe training–and his “treejitsu”–to fend them off, but it might still be an ugly altercation. I pulled more magic into me but restrained myself from using it yet. The falling limb might be written off as a natural phenomenon. A fireball wouldn’t.