Day Forty-Four
I sat on the exercise bike in the Destiny lab, my feet clipped into the pedals, but stationary now. A film was playing on the screen opposite, but I was no longer paying attention. Instead, I kept on playing the moment in the airlock from the day before over and over in my head. I was so disappointed and angry with myself. It should have been one of the highlights of my life.
“Don’t worry about it.” Aki said as she pulled herself through the module on her way to the Kibo module. “Astronauts have months of training for spacewalks. It was a big ask to expect you to throw yourself out of an airlock like that.” I nodded, appreciating the sentiment, even if it did little to lift my despondency.
“It’s true.” Flynn commented from his nearby experiment rack. “Morrison had no business expecting you to climb into a spacesuit and perform an E.V.A. Only real astronauts have the training required.”
“Thanks Flynn.” I replied, giving the American the benefit of the doubt that he was actually sympathising with me rather than having another sly dig.
“Certainly it’s nothing to beat yourself up about.” Aki added.
“I’m just so disappointed with myself.” I replied. “It should have been a dream come true to go for a spacewalk, but instead I froze up like a frightened child. I just feel so… so…”
“Impotent?” Flynn suggested dryly.
“Humiliated.” I finished, glaring at him.
“Perhaps you’ll get another opportunity.” Aki suggested. I nodded and smiled uncertainly, wondering if I even wanted another opportunity.
Day Fifty
“It’s this waiting that’s killing me.” Natalya told me as we sat at the galley table in Zvezda. “We’re just waiting until our supplies run out and then heading back to Earth not knowing what’s waiting for us. For all we know, we could land in the desert and end up crawling through the wilderness dying of thirst, or a slow, painful death of radiation poisoning.”
“Or we could land and find other survivors and spend the rest of our lives in comparative comfort.” I pointed out.
“Comfort?” derided Flynn from the other side of the module. “If we survive the landing and if we manage to find clean food and water before our supplies run out and if we find any survivors down there, we are in for a tough life. You had better start enjoying your life on the station Varennikova, as this is as much comfort as you are likely to get until the day you die, which might not be that far away if the planet is in as bad a state as it looks from up here!”
“For Christ’s sake, Flynn!” I glared at him.
“Look Carter, I’m sure in your fluffy world, they’ll be waiting for us with a cool beer and a limousine, but you need to wake up and smell the coffee.”
“Thanks for the reality check.” I snapped. “Next time, why don’t you keep your opinions to yourself? Don’t you have a shred of compassion in you?”
“It doesn’t matter, Max.” Natalya interjected in an attempt to calm the situation. “Flynn’s just trying to be realistic that things are likely to be tough on Earth.” Flynn snorted derisively. I glared at him and he glowered back, jaw clenched attempting to stare me down and drifting closer in an obvious attempt to intimidate me. I had always been good at holding a stare and couldn’t help but smile, confident that Flynn would falter first.
“How old are you two?” Natalya groaned. Flynn’s right eye began to twitch, his lips curled in a snarl and he turned away in disgust.
“I haven’t got time for this.” He growled and pulled himself away in the direction of the hatch back towards the American segment of the station.
“What the hell is his problem?” I looked away from the swiftly retreating Flynn to Natalya, who had her arms folded across her body and was frowning at me.
“I could ask you the same.” She replied hotly. “You remember what Wes said? What happened to trying to be more patient and understanding?”
“Sorry.” I replied, stung by her criticism. “But he’s a tool. I was just defending you…”
“I can look after myself.” She interrupted. Her expression softened as she read the surprise in my face and she smiled and reached out, gently squeezing my hand, her fingers soft and warm. “I appreciate the sentiment, but there are six of us crammed in to this tiny station and we could all do without you two butting heads at every opportunity.”
Day Fifty-One
I awoke from a light sleep as the bright light from the module outside penetrated my sleeping compartment. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I squinted, realising with a start that the door to my compartment was being slowly and carefully opened. Natalya’s face appeared sideways on over the edge of the door with a finger pressed to her lips, her pale blue eyes yearning with longing. I nodded my understanding, though my initial bewilderment must have been etched on my face as a smile played across her lips. She glanced over her shoulder before carefully squeezing herself into my compartment, pulling the door closed behind her, plunging us into darkness. I felt her press her lips to mine, kissing me urgently, passionately, her fingers running through my hair. Her legs hooked around mine, pulling her body against me. Recovering from my surprise, I reached for her, kissing her back just as hungrily, my hands caressing her, pulling her body close, feeling her heart thumping in her chest. She pulled back slightly, her hands pulling at my clothes. I reciprocated, my fingers tugging down the zip on the front of her flight suit. As I peeled it off her, she wriggled her lithe body out of it. We breathlessly embraced each other again, her body feeling hot against my cool skin. I could feel my pulse racing as I felt her naked breasts pressed against my chest. Her hands traced their way down my body and guided me inside her. I could feel her hot breath against my cheek as our bodies moved together. Pressed into that cramped compartment and in a zero gravity environment didn’t make for the most fluent of lovemaking, but it was certainly the most exhilarating of my life. When it was over, we held each other for a moment, our bodies covered in a sheen of perspiration, our breathing rapid as we caught our breath. Natalya rested her head against my shoulder for a few moments before kissing me again, a long and lingering kiss, not as passionate as earlier, but tender and heartfelt. Then she pulled her flight suit back on and as abruptly as she had arrived, she gently pushed open the compartment door, climbed out, furtively looking around to make sure she hadn’t been seen, while simultaneously adjusting her clothing. Satisfied that she was alone, she pushed closed the door behind her with the briefest of glances back at me as she did so. Neither of us had uttered a single word.
Day Fifty-Two
“Good Morning.” I said, entering the Zvezda module. Morrison was at the far end of the compartment, running on a treadmill, held in place by a couple of bungee cords fixed to a belt around his waist.
“Morning Carter.” Morrison replied. “Looking for Dr Varennikova?” I studied his face for a moment, wondering if it was a loaded question. A knowing smile played across the American’s lips and he gestured towards the hatch in the floor just behind me. “She’s in the Nauka lab.” I looked down through the open hatchway, seeing her busily working on a laptop fixed next to one of the experiment racks.