“How can you be so naïve?” Flynn replied exasperated. “The cold war might have thawed, but only a fool would truly believe it was ever over!”
“Watch your tone Major.” Morrison growled, stressing his subordinate’s rank. Flynn’s eyes blazed and his mouth opened for a moment, as if to retort before thinking better of it. He caught me staring over at the altercation before I could return my gaze to the film.
“You’re not so naïve are you, Carter?” Flynn growled, pulling himself towards me. “No, you’ve seen the writing on the wall and you figured you’d get cosy with Varennikova and slide into the third spot in the capsule.” I glanced briefly in Flynn’s direction before biting my tongue, not wishing to provoke him. “You’re a traitor, Carter, siding with the Russians.” Flynn continued, pulling himself closer, his eyes boring into mine.
“Flynn!” Morrison called out, his tone firm. He had stopped running and was in the process of releasing himself from the harness.
“Is it really worth it?” Flynn continued, ignoring Morrison’s warning. “Is she worth selling out your country?” He pulled himself right over to me, his eyes bulging and his teeth bared. “Is that Russian whore really that good a screw?” My initial shock instantly turned to anger and I balled my fist and threw it into Flynn’s face with all the force I could muster. This time it was Flynn who was thrown across the module, crashing into the wall opposite. He reeled around preparing to lunge back at me, his face contorted in fury. Before he could do so, Morrison reached out and grabbed hold of him.
“Easy Chuck.” He told him. “You deserved that. You can’t talk that way about a man’s girl and not expect a reaction.” Flynn angrily pulled himself free of Morrison’s grasp and propelled himself towards the hatch into the next module, muttering darkly under his breath.
“Sorry about that.” Morrison glanced back at me after watching Flynn retreat through the hatch. “We all know Flynn is having increasing difficulty with the situation we’re in up here.”
“That’s an understatement!” I replied. Morrison sighed deeply.
“Maybe, but he’s still a part of the crew and I’m asking you to cut him some slack.”
“We’ve all been cutting him some slack since all this began.” I retorted. “I’ve got the scars to prove it.”
“Look Carter,” Morrison snapped. “Do you think I’m happy having to make excuses for his bullshit?! Like it or not, we’re all stuck in this tin can together and we’ve just got to try to rise above it.” I nodded resignedly. The same old argument. I remembered the saying ‘You can choose your friends but not your family’. I mused that you could now apply the same sentiment to who you survived the apocalypse with.
“I know, Wes. He just makes it pretty hard when he’s all up in my face like that.”
“Well, think of it as an exercise in patience and self control.” Morrison replied. “It should come in handy if you ever get married…” Morrison flashed me a smile and moved off in the direction of the Kibo module.
Day Ninety-Nine
At Karpov’s request, we had all assembled in Zvezda. Officially this was the end of Expedition 79. Expedition 80 had been scheduled to arrive and relieve Flynn, Karpov and Natalya, while Morrison, Aki and the ill-fated Mineau were to have remained behind and transferred to the new Expedition. I glanced at Karpov, expecting him to say something, however the Mission Commander remained strangely stoical, an uncomfortable silence filling the room, the mood quite morose. I sat at the galley table next to Natalya and tried to remember the last time we had all gathered together like this. While I spent a lot of time with Natalya, Aki and to a lesser extent Morrison, Karpov seemed to be distancing himself from the rest of us. Perhaps the guilt at not leaving the station when we had two Soyuz capsules instead of one was gnawing at his conscience. Flynn was even more reclusive, barely speaking a word to anyone other than Morrison.
“I almost expect to suddenly see a Soyuz capsule through the window.” Aki finally broke the silence and gazed wistfully at one of the windows in the floor. “Expedition 80 suddenly pulling themselves through the hatch with big smiles on their faces and telling us it’s only a communications malfunction, everything is fine and that the three of you had better pack your bags!”
“Yes, it seems strange to think that it would have been a sad day to be leaving here to return to Earth.” Natalya observed.
“I know what you mean.” Flynn agreed. “Before the nuclear strikes, I didn’t want the day to come when I had to leave this station. I mean, it is… was… the pinnacle of my career. I didn’t want that high point to end. Sure, I missed my wife and daughter and was looking forward to seeing them again, but I guessed it would be an anti-climax getting back to the world after six months in space. But now I just feel trapped here. I just wish I could get away from here, get back to Earth. I know I should be grateful that this place has saved my life and that in all likelihood, all that awaits us on the surface is a long, slow death from radiation poisoning, but it kind of just feels like we’re prolonging the inevitable here. We are inmates on death row and the station is our prison. We have had a stay of execution for 12 months give or take, but that day is still coming. We are all dead men walking.”
“Dead men floating.” I corrected, attempting to lighten the mood. Flynn shot me a dark look and opened his mouth to retort, but seemed to think better of it. I studied the American for a moment. His eyes had taken on a faraway look and there seemed to be a deep sadness there. Despite everything, I still pitied him, his loss. It was clearly a burden that weighed more heavily on him than anyone else.
“There are probably thousands of people down there in the same situation.” Morrison told his countryman. “People huddled together underground in bunkers and subway stations. Probably families surviving in basements under their houses, biding their time, waiting until it’s safe to emerge. They’re probably going stir crazy just like us, but knowing the longer they are in the safety of their refuges, the better their chance of surviving. They will have limited food and water and know that sooner or later they will have to climb out and hope and pray that the fallout levels have fallen to survivable levels. I’m sure all over the world, these little pockets of survivors are supporting one another and helping each other through these dark times. We’ve got to do the same.”
Flynn nodded. Morrison’s comments seemed of little comfort to him. I glanced over at Karpov, who remained silent and wondered why Morrison’s pep talk hadn’t come from the big Russian.
Day One Hundred and Eighteen
I pulled myself towards the cupola, my camera clutched in my hand. It had been a couple of weeks since I had last videoed the surface of the Earth, though the dark clouds of ash that covered most of the surface didn’t look any different to my eyes. Beneath those dark skies, was it the slow, lingering death from cold or starvation that the survivors on the surface had to look forward to that I had discussed with Aki months ago? As I pulled myself through the hatch, I found Morrison was already there, gazing through the big window at the Earth below.
“Hey Wes.” I smiled. Morrison turned to me and my smile vanished. Morrison’s eyes were red, puffy and moist with tears. “Shit. Look, I’ll leave you alone.”
“It’s okay, Carter.” Morrison replied, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve and trying to recover his composure. “Just having a moment of weakness. Very soft of me. Not how I was trained.” While I desperately wanted to leave, to get out of there and get as far away as the station would allow, I knew I shouldn’t.