“Who’s first?” He asked. Natalya reached out, trapping a straw between her thumb and forefinger. I held my breath, wondering if I was such a coward that I would be capable of letting the woman I loved sacrifice herself. She tugged it from his grasp and I exhaled as she drew a long straw. There wasn’t even a flicker of relief on her face as she glanced at me and then Aki.
“Sorry.” She murmured.
“Next?” Morrison asked, holding out his hand with the two remaining straws and looking from Aki to me and back again. Aki glanced at me and shrugged.
“I’ll choose.” I said reluctantly, thinking I may as well be master of my own destiny. Aki nodded, looking relieved that the decision was out of her hands. I looked at the two narrow straws, knowing one was life and the other death. A one in two chance. Fifty-fifty. I sighed and plucked a straw from his grasp. It slipped easily from his fingers and I recognised the torn end of the short straw. I felt all the colour drain from my face. I wanted to vomit.
“I’m sorry, Carter.” Morrison told me. I opened and closed my mouth, but I could find no words. It felt unreal. I had always been so lucky. I had lived a charmed life, making millions from my website, being aboard the International Space Station when the Earth had been all but destroyed beneath us, falling in love with what might be one of the last women left alive and it was all going to end today. I would die here, alone in this tin can. The sound of quiet sobbing brought me back to my senses. Natalya had her face in her hands, shaking uncontrollably. I wanted to reach out for her, to tell her it would be alright, but this time it wouldn’t. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I glanced behind me. Aki, her eyes puffy, was on the edge of breaking down in tears too.
“I’m so sorry, Max.” She said softly. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.” I nodded dumbly, feeling like it was a bad dream. Wishing it was a bad dream.
“I’ll begin preparations for Soyuz separation.” Morrison told us. “I’ll give you two a few minutes before…” His voice trailed off and he grimaced before he and Aki pulled themselves into the adjoining FGB module. I looked at Natalya, her cheeks moist from wiping away the tears from her eyes.
“Please don’t cry.” I told her, a lump in my throat. “I’m barely hanging on here.”
“Oh Max.” She wept, throwing her arms around me and holding me tightly. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and let myself go, quietly sobbing for a moment before regaining control.
“We haven’t much time.” I told her, pulling away from her. “You need to get into your pressure suit and get inside the capsule and I need to… to do my final duty.” She nodded before pressing her lips to mine and kissing me. It was tender, soft and lingering until finally, reluctantly, she pulled away and nodded. I helped her into the bulky white pressure suit and reached for the helmet.
“I’ll never forget you.” She told me, her eyes brimming with tears again.
“No more crying.” I told her, reaching out to brush her cheek with my hand. “You won’t be able to wipe your eyes once the helmet is on. It’ll drive you crazy!” I smiled weakly. She laughed nervously.
“Durachit.” She whispered as I slipped the helmet over her head and twisted it into position, sealing it.
“That word again. What does that mean?” I asked her. She laughed nervously again.
“Fool.” She told me, her voice echoing inside her helmet. “Buffoon.” I smirked and despite herself, Natalya’s lips curled into a smile.
I followed Natalya into the FGB module. The hatch in the floor leading to the Soyuz capsule was open and Aki was helping Morrison pull on his own pressure suit.
“Well, I guess this is goodbye.” I winced, holding Natalya’s gloved hand.
“I love you, Max.” She told me, her eyes dewy.
“I love you too.” I replied, the lump in my throat returning. “Now go. Please.” I implored her. Natalya nodded and turned away, her hand slipping from my grasp. With one last glance back at me, she pulled herself down into the open hatch. As she disappeared inside, Morrison pulled himself towards me.
“The backup master control panel is at the far end of the Destiny lab.” He told me. “The smoke from the fire has filled the whole American segment, so it’ll be hard to see where you’re going.” He passed me an oxygen mask. “This will help, but the air’s pretty thin and you’ll only have a few minutes before the fumes will overcome you. Get to the panel and switch it from automatic to manual.”
“That’s it?” I replied.
“That’s it.” He confirmed. “Once it’s been switched to manual, I can release the docking clamps from inside the capsule.”
“Okay.” I nodded.
“This is a brave thing you’re about to do.” He told me solemnly before extending his hand. Grasping a handhold to anchor myself, I shook his hand. “I don’t think you’re the same man I met all those months ago.”
“It feels like another life.” I admitted.
“Good luck, Carter.” He smiled grimly. I turned towards the hatch to the American segment. My eyes widened when I saw Aki had pulled it open and was in the process of pulling herself through it.
“Aki! What the hell are you doing?!” I shouted, kicking off the wall of the module and propelling myself towards her. The hatch slammed shut behind her just as I reached it. I heard a mechanical clank as she locked it from the other side. I thumped the hatch and peered through the small porthole in the centre. Aki gazed back at me, her features set and resolute.
“Goddamn it, Aki!” I shouted. She smiled sadly before pulling on an oxygen mask and backing away until the thick, black smoke engulfed her and she faded from view. I pulled at the handle, but the hatch was locked solid. “We’ve got to get this hatch open!” I shouted over my shoulder at Morrison.
“It’s too late.” He growled back at me as he reached for the helmet for his pressure suit. “We need to leave. Now! Your choice, Carter, come with us or stay here and die with her.” He pulled on the helmet and twisted it into place, sealing it before pulling himself towards the open hatch in the floor. “Don’t let her sacrifice be in vain!” He added before disappearing after Natalya into the Soyuz capsule.
“Fuck.” I sighed, with one last glance into the billowing smoke beyond the tiny window. I turned away and quickly pulled my own pressure suit on, guilt clawing at my soul for leaving Aki to die. I twisted the helmet into place and pulled myself through the open hatch and down into the capsule. Natalya was already strapped into place in the right hand seat while Morrison was busy fastening his own straps in the centre seat. I pulled the nose hatch closed behind me and sealed it before squeezing past Morrison into the remaining vacant seat, which was no easy task in the cramped confines of the capsule. As I strapped myself in, Morrison prepared the capsule for separation, his fingers playing over the controls as he rapidly carried out final instrument checks. I gazed out of the porthole to my left at the underside of the station. It had been our refuge, our ark for so long and now we had to abandon it, to take our chances on the surface.
“Soyuz separation in 3… 2… 1… Mark.” Morrison warned us, jabbing his finger on a button on the console before him. Nothing. I glanced nervously across at him. Had Aki been overcome by the fumes before she could reach the panel? Had another fire flared up in the Destiny lab, a raging inferno blocking her path? Morrison pressed the button again. I sighed and reached for the quick release on my harness, knowing what I had to do.
“Wait.” Morrison growled, his finger hovering over the button. He pressed it again and this time there was a mechanical clank as the docking clamps disengaged. The capsule vibrated slightly as we cleared the hatch. I breathed a sigh of relief as we began to slowly drift away from the station. Glancing out of the porthole, I could see the glass windows of the cupola and wondered if Aki had made it there and was watching us depart. I felt hollow and raw inside, knowing we were leaving her to die.