Grabbing the remaining candle, Harry made his way behind the bar and into the corridor behind. Right away the freezing temperature told him something was wrong. Earlier the corridor had acted as a flume for the warm air of the fire in the cellar, but now it was cold. That meant the fire was out.
“Shit, shit, shit!” Harry took the steps two at a time, luckily making it down to the bottom without miss-stepping in the darkness. As his feet planted on the cellar floor, he moved the candle in a quick semi-circle in front of him. The room smelt heavily of smoke, but the barrel fire was unlit. Next to it was the unmoving form of Old Graham. Until tonight, Harry had never seen a recently dead body before – not even his wife and child as they had died in the hospital – but he now knew without inspection that the old man had perished. Harry felt his gorge rise, the fear and sickness taking a hold of him as his mind screamed out with grief. He span around, illuminating the dark corners of the cellar, searching desperately
He found Damien first and crouched down to feel the lad’s cheek. It was stone cold and Harry realised he was dead too. What concerned Harry most was that Damien’s mid-section was covered in blood and that, despite the cold, the boy did not have on his thick puffer jacket. Did somebody stab him?
The answer came to Harry quickly.
Nigel? Damn it. I can’t believe I knocked Damien out when he was the one who saved Steph all along. Now he’s dead and I’ll never get to say sorry for my mistake.
Beside Damien, beneath the same pile of duvets, was Jess. Dead as well, Harry immediately noticed. He felt numb at the sight of such a young and pretty girl frozen to death like a block of ice. He shone the candle to her face and saw that her lips were blue and starting to frost over.
Then Harry noticed a third body beneath the blankets. He was paralysed, not wanting to move because that meant he would have to acknowledge whatever he would find beneath the final blanket.
Steph lay, swaddled up to the eyeballs by a lasagne of sheets and blankets, half-a-dozen layers deep. She looked as delicate and as beautiful as Harry had ever seen her and he finally allowed himself to cry. He reached out and touched her face. Like the other’s it was ice cold. She was wearing Damien’s puffer jacket. Probably knew he was dying with or without it. He must have wanted her to have it instead. It wasn’t enough though.
Harry shook his head, a deep darkness spreading throughout his soul. There was nothing else left. “I’m sorry,” he said to Steph’s unmoving form. “I’m sorry that I caused all this and that I never got to say goodbye. I used to think I came here every night to get drunk and forget about the past, but tonight I realised that I kept coming back to see you. You were the only person that allowed me to see that there would be a tomorrow and that it would be easier than today. It was you that took away my pain, not the booze, but thanks to me there will be no more tomorrows.”
“…Harry?”
The word was soft, below even a whisper, but he heard it. A few moments passed and Harry started to think that his crippled mind was perhaps just playing tricks on him.
But then he heard it again.
“Harry,” Steph whispered again, louder this time.
She’s alive!
“Steph! Steph, can you hear me?”
It didn’t seem like she could, but she knew he was there. It was obvious by the look in her eyes. “Harry… I… missed you.”
“I missed you too, Steph.”
She smiled. “I knew you’d come back. I always knew you were a good man. That you… would end up being my hero… one day.”
Harry was stunned. “I wish that were true, Steph. I really do, but I let you down. I let everyone down.”
Steph shook her head, eyes still closed as though she were reciting a dream. “No, Harry. The only person you ever let down is yourself. You’re a good man, but you don’t… you don’t see it.”
Harry wiped the tears and snot from his face. “You know what I wish, Steph?”
“No, Harry. What do you… wish?”
“I wish that instead of killing Thomas Morris that night, I’d have met you instead. Maybe you could have saved me… saved everything.”
Steph’s face lit up in a smile, but then went still. She didn’t reply.
“Steph,” Harry said, softly. “Hey, Steph, I just realised that you were my second chance. I’m sorry I blew it, but I’m going to put it right.”
Harry moved forward and kissed Steph on her lips. He wanted nothing more than for her to be alive a moment longer so that she could kiss him back, but he knew that she was gone. At least I got to say goodbye.
Harry stood up straight, tensing his cold muscles and testing each one to make sure they were still working and not completely frozen yet. Despite taking the steps two at a time on the way down, he took them individually on the way up, taking his time to digest just what he intended to do. He lit the corridor above with his candle and made his way to the bar. Lucas was already there waiting for him
Just the man I want to speak to.
“Harry Boy,” Lucas’s normal chirpiness was gone and he sounded solemn, like a guard on death row. He handed over a beer and took one for himself, lids already removed. Harry decided whatever happened, it would be the last beer he ever drank. One for the road.
“Lucifer,” said Harry, sipping the beer. “It’s time isn’t it?”
Lucas nodded. “It’s up to you, lad. To be honest I’m only here tonight because I’m duty-bound. The apocalypse and all that, you know? It’s kind of traditional.”
“That can’t be the reason.”
Lucas laughed his charming Irishman laugh. “No, you’re right. The truth of it is that Michael summoned me here to see the destruction of mankind. I guess they think I had a hand in bringing down the ceiling – in leading men astray and all that.”
Harry shrugged. “Well, didn’t you?”
Lucas swigged his beer down to the bottom third. “Well, yes and no. When I first fell from Heaven I hated you all – God’s most prized creation – and I sought to corrupt you all. I wanted to spoil God’s work and his image that lived in all of you, but you know what I found out?”
“What?” said Harry.
“I realised that I was wasting my time. Men were doing a fine thing of fucking stuff up on their own. I had a hand, here and there, sure, but Hitler, Bin Laden, Bundy, the nuclear-fuckin-bomb? All that shit was on you. The worst, most corrupt men that ever lived are mostly people I’ve never met.”
“Then why does Heaven blame you? Why have they brought you here to watch us die?”
“Because I fell in love with humanity. At first I rebelled against God because I wanted to live by my own rules and I sought about destroying you all, but after a while I realised that man wasn’t in God’s image, he was in mine. Men have spent hundreds of years fighting for their freedom just the same way as I and some of my brothers did against Heaven. Few hundred years ago, I stopped trying to destroy you and started living amongst you. I buried my anger with God and stopped being the bogeyman you write about in your religious texts. I’m no different to you all and just as sad to see that the party’s all over. The only reason I’m forced to witness it all end is for them to make a point.”