"She serves the Maiden Goddess; it's a long story," Hecuba said in a tone indicating that long story or short, she had no intention of telling it now. Kassandra kissed her mother and the children, and let Aeneas, rather than a servant, fold her into her cloak. Hector rose too, embracing his wife and son, and at the palace doors, took leave of Aeneas and Kassandra.
"You are prettier than when you went to Colchis," he said kindly. "There is some ballad which calls you beautiful enough for Apollo to desire; if you want to come home I am sure Father could find you a husband, without all the nonsense that drove Polyxena into the Temple of the Maiden."
"No, dear brother; I am happy in the house of the Sunlord," she replied, but she returned his embrace with real warmth, knowing he meant her well.
It was not particularly dark as they moved up the steep streets, for the moon was rising, round and bright. Aeneas paused at one point to look out over the plain where the Argive army lay.
"If Agamemnon and Akhilles had not quarrelled, this is the sort of night when it would hardly be wise for Hector to dine at home with his family," Aeneas said. "Usually, on nights with a full moon, these last three years, we have had an attack from seaward. But look, everything is dark down there, except in Akhilles's tent where, I dare say, they are still arguing over their wine."
"Aeneas, what's all this about Polyxena?"
"Oh, lord," he said, "I don't know the whole story; nobody does. Akhilles - well, Priam offered her to Akhilles, hoping to make trouble in the Akhaian ranks. Your father - after that he went about saying she was as beautiful as the Spartan Helen and he would award her to the most powerful—"
"What? Polyxena, as beautiful as Helen? Is his eyesight failing with age?"
"I think he was trying to make trouble with the Akhaians; he offered her to the King of Crete—"
"Idomeneus? But I heard he was joined with Agamemnon on the Akhaian side - it's treachery of course; the Minoan folk have been our kinsmen and allies since before Atlantis sank."
"Well, however it may be, Priam tried to offer her as wife to many of the island people; but all those who wanted to accept were among the supporters of the Akhaians. And in the end Polyxena rebelled—"
"Rebelled? But Polyxena has always done whatever she was told—" Kassandra protested.
"And so she did; but she said at last she felt like a pot being hawked at the market; and a cracked pot which no one would buy at that—and vowed to serve the Maiden Goddess. Where she is to this day. Priam was angrier with her than when you went to serve the Sunlord."
"I suppose so," Kassandra said. "Since I was a very little girl,
Father always thought of me as a rebel; but when Polyxena disobeyed, it must have been as if a child's pet rabbit had turned and bitten him."
"Yes, exactly like that, I think. Your mother was very distressed."
"Yes," Kassandra said, "Mother brings us up to think for ourselves and then is shocked and upset when we do it. I'm glad she made her own decision."
They strolled quietly up the steep street. Kassandra stumbled in the darkness and Aeneas quickly caught her.
"Mind your step!" he admonished. "It's a long fall!"
His arm was round her; he was not wearing armor, only tunic and cloak, and against her body he felt warm and strong. She let him support her for the next few steps; but when she would have drawn herself upright, he tightened the clasp of his arm around her waist, and bent his face to hers. In the dark their lips just met before she pulled away.
"No," she said, entreating, drawing herself away. "No, Aeneas. Not you too."
He did not free her at once; but he raised his head, and said softly, "Since first I set eyes on you, Kassandra, I have wanted you. And somehow I thought that this—this was not altogether distasteful to you."
She said, and discovered that her voice was shaking, "If it had been otherwise - but I am sworn to chastity, and you are the husband of my sister."
"Not by my own choice, not by Creusa's," Aeneas said softly. "We were wedded by the will of my father and yours."
"Still, it is done," Kassandra said. "I am not Helen, to abandon a pledge of honor…' but she let her head rest against his strong arm. She felt weak, as if her legs were no longer holding her firmly upright.
Aeneas said quietly, "I think too much is said of honor and duty. Why should Helen remain faithful to Menelaus? She was given to him with no thought for her happiness. Are we put on this earth only to carry out our duty to our families? Are we not given life by the Gods so that we may create lives for ourselves tor some good to our own hearts and minds and souls?"
If you felt like that," Kassandra asked precisely, drawing herself a little upright (she felt cold away from Aeneas's arm),"why did you agree to marry her in the first place?"
"Oh, I was younger then," Aeneas said, "and all my life I had been told it was my duty to marry whatever princess was found for me; and at that time I believed still that one woman was very much like another."
"And are they not?"
"No," Aeneas said violently. "No, they are not. Creusa is a good woman, but you are as unlike her as wine to spring water. I say nothing against the mother of my children; but at that time I had never seen a woman who was more to me than any other, one I truly wanted, one who could speak as an equal, a comrade - Kassandra, I swear, if before I married Creusa I had had the opportunity to speak a dozen times with you, I would have told Priam and my father that I would marry no other woman under the skies - that I would have you or go unmarried to my grave."
She felt stunned. "You cannot mean this; you are making fun of me," she murmured.
"Why would I want to do that?" he demanded. "I did not - I do not - want to disrupt my life, or trouble your peace, or hurt Creusa, but I think that Goddess of Love who played such a cruel trick on Paris has chosen to throw discord my way as well—and I felt I must say to you, once, what I felt."
She put out her hand, hardly knowing she was doing so, and touched his; he clasped his fingers strongly over hers. He said softly, "When first I saw you, seated among the girls with your eyes cast down modestly, I knew all at once that it was you I wanted, and that I should have stood up at once and proclaimed it to Priam and to my father…'
The thought made Kassandra smile.
"And what would Creusa have said to that?"
"I should not have let that matter to me," Aeneas said. "I was the one whose life was being cast into the balance. Tell me, Kassandra, would you have had me for a husband? If I had refused Creusa and demanded you instead - as the price of my fighting for Troy—"
Her heart was beating as wildly as his agitated words. "I don't know," she said at last. "Whatever I might have said or done then, it's too late for thinking about it now."
"It need not be too late," he said, and drew her into his arms. She did not know that she was crying until Aeneas's finger wiped away a tear.
"Don't cry, Kassandra; I don't wish to make you unhappy. But I cannot bear to think that now I have found that you are the one I love, that there can never be anything more for us than this—"
He enfolded her in an embrace so rough, so completely compelling, that nothing outside seemed to exist at all; she was drowning, suffocating, wiped away into non-existence; incapable of thought. Nevertheless after a time that seemed too long - but very short - she pulled herself upright and on to her own feet, wiping her eyes with her gown. So that is what it is like.
She knew her voice was shaking as she said, "You are my sister's husband; You are my brother."
"By my own immortal ancestress! Don't you think I have chewed on that until it sickens me?" he muttered. "I can only beg you—not to be angry with me."
"No," she said, and it sounded so foolishly inadequate for the moment between them that she began helplessly to giggle, "No, I'm not angry with you, Aeneas."