I took a seat on the stool as the devil opened his arms, welcoming me back to hell.
Chapter Twenty
TANA
Just like he’d promised, Ryan returned to my house before I had to leave for my shift. He was still wearing the overalls he used for working at the garage. He hadn’t been away that long but he didn’t look like the same guy. His eyes were dark and hard like he was going through the motion of living while not feeling anything at all.
Stepping inside the door, he kicked off his shoes and unzipped the overalls, dropping them to his ankles. Scooping them under his arm, he headed toward the laundry room, walking in front of the television where I’d been watching a mindless talk show.
“The doctor gave me some news today,” I said.
He stopped and turned to face me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Brooklyn took me to the hospital to visit Mom and when I arrived, the doctor said that he’s going to begin lowering the dosage of medicine to bring Mom out of the coma. He said the swelling is down and her brain function tests are better than he’d hoped for.”
“I’m glad.”
“Me too.” I shut off the television and followed Ryan into the laundry room. “Maybe we can celebrate tonight after I get off work?”
“Alright. I’ll treat you and Mark to Chinese takeout if you’d like.”
“Do you want to come to the hospital with me tomorrow?”
“I can’t. I’ve got things to do.” He opened the washer and dumped the overalls inside, then frowned at the row of knobs.
“Let me.” I set the cycle, added the detergent and switched the machine on. Both of us tried to move toward the door at the same time and we collided.
“Sorry,” I said, but didn’t move.
He raised his hand and stopped just shy of touching my face. His smile was tight, regretful. “I’m covered in grease.”
“I know.” The room seemed to grow smaller with each breath that I took.
“I know this isn’t going to make much sense right now, but someday, when you’re off at college and you think of me, I want you to remember something.”
“What’s that?”
“That I wish things could have been different. I wish I could have loved you.”
Could have. But didn’t. Got the message loud and clear. “Okay.”
He exhaled as if he’d been holding his breath. “I should probably take a shower.”
“Okay.” He left and I sagged against the washer.
“Is Ryan here?” Creature poked his head into the room. He and Jason had been playing outside for the last hour.
“He went to take a shower.”
“Cool.”
“When he gets out, I’m leaving for work, okay?”
“Okay,” he said in a dismissive tone and ran back outside.
I sighed and pulled my uniform from the hanger to lay it across the dryer. Nudging the laundry door closed with my foot, I stripped to my bra and panties and reached for the short blue dress. The door swung open and Ryan was there in his jeans and no shirt. His eyes swept over me and I caught the hunger in them before he looked at the washer. “My watch was in my pocket.”
“Oh.” I spun around and lifted the lid. Leaning into the washer, I fished out the sopping material and ran my hand into the pocket to grasp the watch. I held the wet offering out to Ryan. His hand closed over it and my fingers. I wiggled my hand free and picked up my uniform. “I have to leave.” I turned around and slid the dress over my head, shimmying the stretchy material down over my hips. When I reached around my back to work up the zipper, Ryan brushed my hands aside and zipped it up.
I faced him, mouth dry, heart beating fast. “Thanks.”
“You’ll need my keys.”
I dropped my eyes to his jeans and then jerked my gaze away. He didn’t go for his keys. Holding out my hand, I raised an eyebrow and said, “Unless you’d like me to dig them out?”
He dropped them into my hand. “The Charger has a lot of power. Are you sure you can handle it?”
I smiled. “I handled its owner didn’t I?”
Ryan smiled back. “Yeah, you did.”
“Then I’d say I’m good.” Electricity charged around us and if I didn’t know better, didn’t know that Ryan thought we were a mistake, I’d think that he did care more than he let on. Which was crazy. He wasn’t interested in loving me.
*
RYAN
Mark and I played video games until he got bored and wanted to go outside and play with some of the neighborhood kids. I took his bike out of the garage, pumped up the tire and told him not to ride too far. He hopped onto the bike and started to pedal off when I saw the helmet lying near where the bike had been.
“Hey, wait. Put that on.”
He looked at it, then at me. “I don’t have to wear it.”
“Does your mom usually make you wear it?”
He hesitated, then shook his head. “She says it’s up to me.”
“Bullshit. Put the helmet on.”
He stomped away from the bike, grabbed the helmet and smashed it onto his head. “I look stupid and the other kids make fun of me when I wear it.”
“Ignore the little shits and just ride your bike.”
He swung his leg over and started pedaling down the driveway. I sat on the porch steps to keep an eye on him and saw Juvante’s car turn onto the street. He blew the horn to get the kids to move out of the way and then swung into the driveway.
He watched Mark ride up the street. “Look at you playing daddy.”
“Better playing than being one.”
“That was just a rumor. Alexa’s not pregnant.”
“She’s what? The third rumor this year?”
“Just talk. They all want a piece of Juvante.” He laughed as he sat beside me. “The bets are in for the fight. You’re going against Bobby Perez. He’s 20-3. Take him out and you’re looking to bring in a little over three grand.”
I nodded, then stood up and yelled at Mark to get the hell out of the road when cars were coming. When I sat back down, Juvante shook his head. “Never thought I’d see the day my brother would get neutered.”
“Shut up. I need you to line up the fights back to back. At least one or two a day for the next week.”
“Back to back? What’s the rush? You’ve got time.”
“No, I don’t. Chanos had photos. Mama Leena. Destiny. Tana. He even had one of Ms. Shaw in the hospital.” The memory burned in me. “Once I’m jumped in, it might take me a few days to heal up.”
Juvante scrubbed a hand down his face. “Yeah and you can’t fight like that. Alright. When are you getting jumped?”
“Saturday. That gives me a week to get Tana’s money back to her.”
He rubbed his ear. “I’ll make it happen.”
“Thanks.”
“Mama Leena finds out you’re back in, the gang ass kicking won’t be your only one.”
“I don’t have a choice. Either I belong to Chanos or I risk Tana’s life.”
“And because you love her, you’ll do it.”
I looked at the ground, tired of fighting it, tired of denying it. “She can’t ever know that.”
“I won’t say anything.” Juvante nodded, then scowled. “Where’s the Charger?”
“She drove it to work.”
“Man, that must be love. You don’t let anyone touch that car.” He slapped my shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” When he reached his car, he said, “You never know. Maybe you’ll get lucky and Chanos will get hit by lightning.”
“Maybe something good like that would happen. We both know what a charmed life I’ve led.”
“This is all Clarke and Roman’s fault. If being an idiot was a sin, their dumb asses would have to move into the confessional.”
“What’s done is done.” I stood so I could see the road. A car zipped past. “Mark!”
He pedaled toward me and parked his bike behind Juvante’s car. “What?”