He looked past me for a second as a car pulled into the lot. Then he refocused those gorgeous eyes on me again.” Abraham pointed out that by rejoining the gang, everyone I loved would be a target for a rival gang.” He laughed but it was a bitter laugh. “I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.”
“But why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“You would have insisted that we could find a way to be around each other. I’ve always thought of myself as strong, but you’re my greatest weakness. If anyone wants to hurt me, all they have to do is hurt you. I had to make you hate me so that you’d stay away.”
“It worked, didn’t it?”
“Yeah, it did. I made you hate me and it nearly destroyed both of us.”
I picked up my books and hugged them to my chest, afraid to trust what he was saying. “I don’t know what to think. What if something with your past or with Chanos crops up again?”
“He’s dead.”
Since I’d been on the information blackout, I hadn’t heard that. “What happened?”
“Clarke happened. I don’t want to talk about it.”
I tightened my fingers on the books. “That’s part of the problem, Ryan. You don’t talk about things that matter. You say that you love me, but you don’t let me in. And if you want to be with me, that’s the price you’ll have to pay. I don’t want any more secrets. You have to let me in. All the way.”
“Honey, there are things in my life that are too ugly for me to share with you.”
“All the way, Ryan.”
“I’ve never told anyone some of the stuff I carry around.”
“It’s time that you stopped carrying it alone. I want to know your hurts. I want you to tell me everything. Balls to the wall.”
He grinned and raised his eyebrows. “Balls to the wall?”
“Is it a deal?”
“I’ve got some real ugly demons, Tana.”
“Who the hell doesn’t? We can get together later this afternoon and talk if you decide you can do that.”
“I’m on my way back over to the garage. I have to be there for a while to take care of some stuff.”
“Then tonight. If you show, then we’ll go from that point. If you don’t, then I’ll have my answer. Okay?”
His eyes were solemn He was so handsome, so incredibly hot that I had to mentally smack myself to keep from jumping him. “I’ll be there.” Then he gave me that sexy smile of his and I had to smack harder.
The thought of letting myself be vulnerable with him again did scare me a little and I had to make him see how important it was that we talk honestly. “I’m warning you that this is it for us.”
“I said I’d be there, didn’t I?”
Feeling more hope than I’d felt in a long time, like I was coming out from under a dark cloud, I smiled at him. “Walk me to my next class?”
*
RYAN
Ryker pulled into the parking lot in a 1970 Mercury Cougar that all but purred. I walked out of the garage as he climbed from the car and rubbed his hand along the side of it. The car was blue with black hood stripes across the pronounced center. It was in mint condition. I whistled. “What’d you do to get this?”
“It’s part of a payment package.”
My smile faded. “You’re not bringing shit with you.”
“No. This is on the level. Just have to do a little babysitting.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Apparently they’ve heard some rumors and the king and queen want to make sure Princess Shelby is safe so they hired me to watch over her.”
I laughed my ass off. Ryker King was the least likely choice to put in charge of making sure a rich girl like Shelby was safe. They might as well have tossed her straight to the wolves. “How the hell did you convince them of that?”
Ryker grinned. “I didn’t. I was doing a little bit of security work and they approached the boss. He told them they wanted someone who would blend in with a college crowd and he had just the guy. College and moving expenses all paid up front. So I used a little of it to buy myself this baby.”
“You landed a security job with your record?”
“Juvie records are sealed. Besides, I was framed.”
“Shit, man.” I laughed again, then jerked my head toward the office. “I’ll show you the setup and then you can follow me back to the apartment. Lewis won’t care. You can crash there.”
Ryker walked beside me and then asked about Tana.
“I don’t know. We’re supposed to talk later and deal with some stuff.”
“Forget that shit. Dealing with stuff is girl code for getting her hooks into you. Better run while you can. Ten years from now, you’re gonna be married to that girl and on your way to be a daddy.”
“I’m already hooked.” I pulled open the door to the office. “I don’t want to run. Tana’s it for me.”
Ryker sighed. “Another good man brought down.”
“Wait until it happens to you.”
“No way. I’m all about the pussy buffet. All you can eat. I don’t like the single servings.”
I’d been that clueless once, too. I shook my head, wondering at my own stupidity. When my heart zeroed in on Tana, I’d developed tunnel vision. All I could see, all I wanted was her. I only hoped there was a way back from me living my life and Tana living hers to a life we shared.
Ryker looked around the office and took a deep breath. “We’re really doing this.”
“Yep.”
He shot me a look. “You think about him?”
I nodded. “Yeah. How’s Roman handling Clarke not being around?”
“Alright, I guess. He mostly goes to work and comes home. He did tell me to make sure we didn’t get too drunk. I passed the Line ‘Em Up bar on the way in. We should grab a few after we leave here.”
“I’m meeting Tana, but Lewis will go. Guy never passes a chance to drink.”
After I closed up the garage for the evening, Ryker followed me to the apartment and I introduced him to Lewis. As soon as they left to head to the bar, I went to get ready.
Opening up about my past to Tana would be hard, but if it meant being with her, that was a price I was willing to pay. I’d drag all the ugly demons I’d ever dealt with into the light and let her see them if that’s what it took. She might decide there was too much bad associated with me but I had to take that chance. While I wasn’t crazy at the thought of letting myself be vulnerable, it’s what she needed and I would give her anything she needed.
I finished my shower, wrapped a towel around my waist and started shaving. In a couple of hours, I’d let her see the darkest side of me that no one else knew about. With all my secrets out in the open, there would be no more demons that could hide, waiting for a chance to tear us apart. I had an hour before I needed to meet Tana so I took the time to eat some of the pizza left over from last night. I finished off a couple of slices, brushed my teeth again and my cell phone rang.
Lewis. I answered while searching for my keys at the same time. Then, realizing I’d left them in the jeans lying beside my bed, I walked back into the bedroom.
“You have to help.” His voice was high and agitated.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s Ryker. Some guy started shit and Ryker’s kicking his ass. The bartender already called the cops.”
Shit. The last thing Ryker needed was another arrest. “I’m on the way.” I hung up and looked at my watch. If I pushed it hard, I had time to get to the bar, put out this fire, and get back.
Line ‘Em Up lived up to its name. Filled with college students determined to have a good time, the bar was overcrowded, loud and smelled like stale pizza. The owner had a reputation for turning a blind eye to underage IDs. It wasn’t hard to locate Ryker. He was in the middle of the room, surrounded by broken chairs working some pretty boy over.
I waded through the crowd and slapped his shoulder. “Back the fuck off and let’s get out of here.”