She looks over my shoulder into my room. “You didn’t open a window or anything?”
“Nope. I was just sitting here, reading.” Lie. I was counting my buttons.
Reality seeps in as we both realize the truth and her hand instantly finds my arm and her fingers tremble as she grasps onto me for dear life, as if I’m as precious to her as the buttons are to me. “Maddie, there’s someone in the house.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as a crash comes from the kitchen. My mother shoves me backward and starts to race off in the direction of the noise, but I grab the back of her robe and pull her to me. “Don’t just walk out there.” I hiss, taking control of the situation, “Call the police.”
She nods erratically then veers toward her room with her gaze fixed on the end of the hallway. When she reaches her doorway, she looks over her shoulder at me and says, “Go back in your room and lock the door.” Then she hurries into her room to get her phone.
I start to do as she says when I hear a voice mid turn.
“Lily.”
I freeze, muscles raveling, as I slowly turn back around. Standing in the darkness at the end of the hall is a person about the same height as me. They’re not moving, frozen, staring right back at me, unafraid. I don’t know who it is, but I know they know who I am by the name they uttered.
I can hear my mom chattering in her room as I begin to inch backward away from the figure, but then they laugh under their breath and mutter something about me still being weak and a whore.
I know them.
That voice.
I’ve heard it before.
You’re a whore!
“Shut up,” I say through gritted teeth, my hands balling into fists. Emotions pour through me so potent I can barely control anything that I do. That voice. It belongs to a man. A man hurt you. Get our revenge.
“I know we know him,” I whisper aloud to Lily. “But who is he?”
The man moves toward me and a chill courses through my body. “You don’t know me, Lily? I’m hurt.” He stops to press his hand to his heart, chuckling under his breath. It makes me feel like he’s making fun of me and abruptly all I see is red. Blinding. Powerful. Overtaking. Then comes the pain. A huge, massive wave of it that nearly sends me to the floor. God, it hurts. And all I want to do is kill him to make it go away.
Then do it.
Chapter 18
Lily
I know this person and Maddie knows this person too. I don’t know from where or how I know them, all I know is that I do. And I hate them with more passion then anything else in the world. This man has hurt us both, made us suffer, and created us, which makes me fill sick and vile. Loathe myself for the first time in a long time.
Maddie releases control to me quickly, just like that. Without a fight. And I know that she wants me to take care of it—act on her impulses, something she’s always been too afraid to do. So I storm down the hallway, ready to attack. The man just stands there, fully welcoming it. I know this could end badly. I could get hurt. Die. That’s not what I’m worried about—that’s the point of me existing. To take care of the things that Maddie fears the most—to step up and deal with the pain when she can’t. I’m the strong one and she’s the weak. I’m what she could never be and wishes she always was.
I lunge when I near him and he still doesn’t move back, allowing my head to ram into his gut. He smells like cigarette smoke, booze, and ash, and the three scents combined make me want to vomit. I don’t have time to brace myself as we crash to the floor and I land on top of him, my hands sliding up to his neck as I sit up, growling. I grip tightly, feeling his muscles tense beneath my touch, and his pulse throb just below my fingertips. I’m gasping for air, wild, mind racing more than it ever has before. I want this, more than anything.
At first I think he’s just going to let me kill him as he lies there in the shadows simply staring at me. But suddenly, when he’s getting to the point where he’s struggling for air, he gathers his strength and in one swift motion, flips us over so he’s lying on top of me. I bump my shoulder against the end table and a lamp falls off, crashes against my head, and glass flies, razor sharp shards that slice open my flesh, just like I want to do to his.
“Not now, my Lily,” he says, pinning me to the ground by the shoulders. I try to kick him, knee him in the gut, but he’s too heavy and the bump on the head is making my mind dance and my body go to sleep. “But soon.”
It’s the last thing I hear before he lifts his hand and presses it over my mouth, while gripping at my neck, choking and smothering me until I’m on the verge of passing out. I shut my eyes and wait to die. I’m surprised by how comfortable I am with my own death. Or just death in general. Like my warm blanket I used to carry around when I was a child. Death. I know death. It makes me content. Just as I’m about to give into the darkness and slip away forever, the hands release me. My eyes shoot open and my lips part. There’s nothing there but an empty living room and the night.
He’s gone.
Was he ever really there to begin with?
Chapter 19
Maddie
I’m not sure how I pass out this time, but as soon as I wake up, I know I’ve lost a lot of time. It makes me nauseous, knowing I can lose control like that, but at the same time, I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with the man.
When I open my eyes, I’m in my bed. The sun is trickling through the window and my skull feels like it’s been split open.
“Maddie, relax,” my mother says from my bedside. She’s sitting in a chair, dressed in tan slacks and a blue blouse, her hair is in a bun, her makeup done, and a magazine is on her lap. “You’re okay.”
I press my hand to my aching head as I catch my breath. “What happened?” I glance around at my room, clean as can be, the computer shut down, and the buttons put away. She cleaned up my room while I was out, which means she saw the buttons, saw the article I had opened. “Did you clean up my room?”
“Yes, it was filthy.” She sets the magazine down on the floor and leans forward in the chair, taking my hand in hers. “I did it while you were sleeping.”
I yawn, trying to decide if that’s what happened. Did I finally just fall asleep. “Sleeping? But what about the person that broke into the house? What happened to him?”
Her forehead creases. “Maddie, there wasn’t anyone in the house. After I called the cops, I came out of the room and you were lying in the hallway like you fainted… you woke up and said something about there being a man, but the cops checked the house and there were no signs of a break in... They did a few tests on you and said you showed signs of exhaustion.” She feels my forehead as if she’s checking for a fever. “Why didn’t you tell me you haven’t been sleeping very well?”
“I’ve been sleeping fine,” I lie, slanting away from her touch. “And if there was no man in the house then why did the alarm go off? I was… there was…” I’m at-a-loss for words. It’s difficult to defend myself when my mental stability is tottering from side to side and I can’t quite remember what happened, yet it feels like I should.
“The cops said it happens sometimes,” she explains, giving my hand a squeeze. “That even the slightest bump against a window can set it off.”
I’m not buying it at all. I’ve hallucinated before and what happened last night was too real to be one. “But I saw someone… I know I did.” I sift through my memories, through the haziness, to what I think I saw. “It was a man. He was tall and he… He called me a whore.”