At his request, I hired an armored car. It seemed like overkill to me, but then Marilyn explained that I was not only delivering the Cracke drawing but several dozen items Hollister had bought from her.
“How much stuff are we talking about?”
“Eleven million,” she said. “Give or take.”
My sale no longer seemed that impressive.
“You haven’t seen the house yet, have you.”
“No.”
“Well, darlin, you are in for something rare.”
“You’re not coming?”
“No. It’ll give you boys a chance to bond.”
Considering where I grew up, it takes quite a bit of house to impress me, and the neoclassical monstrosity that appeared as we cleared security (ID check, bomb sweep) and passed through the imposing over-wrought-iron fence didn’t do much to heat my bluish blood. It was large but utterly vulgar, a nouveau-riche temple, no doubt filled with hideous statuary and histrionic window treatments. I was surprised that Marilyn had not warned me.
“Holy shit,” said the driver of the armored car. He gawked at a long structure, evidently the garage; outside, a group of men lovingly detailed a Mayfair and a Ferrari. The garage had eight more doors, like the set of a game show.
At the end of a quarter-mile driveway stood a butler and two men in red jumpsuits. I stepped out of the car and waited while the butler gave instructions to the driver. Then I followed the butler up the steps, which seemed wider and shallower than necessary, causing me to lean forward as I walked. I was reminded of the palaces of Mughal kings, their doorways built purposefully low, so that all entering bent their heads.
“I’m Matthew,” said the butler, in a shockingly Californian voice. “Kevin is waiting for you.”
Contrary to expectation, there wasn’t anything ugly inside. In fact, there wasn’t anything at alclass="underline" the entry hall was empty, its walls gallery-white and bathed in cold light. Soaring ceilings and skylights created a dizzying sense of upward drift, and I felt as though trapped in a Minimalist dream: Donald Judd’s idea of heaven.
“Would you like a Pellegrino?” asked Matthew.
I was still looking at the ceiling. The place did not seem fit for human habitation.
“You’ll have to excuse us. We’re in the process of redecorating. Every so often Kevin wants a change of pace.”
“This looks more like a total overhaul.”
“We have a designer on retainer. Kevin likes to make use of her. Did you want that Pellegrino?”
“No, thank you.”
“Right this way, please.”
He steered me down a long, blank corridor.
“Where’s the art?” I asked.
“Most of it is in the museum. We haven’t really had time to do this wing of the house yet. We’ll get there. As Kevin says, it’s a work in progress.”
I questioned the decision to leave the front part of the house unfinished. Didn’t you want to make a good impression on visitors? I supposed that Hollister didn’t have many people to impress.
We stepped into an elevator (blank), walked another hallway (blank), made several more turns down several more hallways (all blank), arriving finally at a heavy-looking door. The butler pressed a buzzer. “Ethan Muller is here.”
The door clicked, and Matthew held it open for me.
“I’ll be right back with your beverage,” he said, disappearing before I could tell him that I didn’t want a beverage.
Hollister’s office was the first room in the house that didn’t feel like the inside of an asylum, although I can’t say that it was very cozy. To begin with, there were no windows. Then there was the design scheme, which I can best describe as a hypermodern rendering of the traditional English hunting lodge. Low-slung sofas and Eames-like chaises had been scattered throughout the room. There was a steel globe large enough to incite the envy of James Bond villains; there were five identical jet-black bearskin rugs; there was a moosehead cast in resin. The walls, paneled in black leather and brass nailheads, absorbed much of the ambient light, making an already vast, dark, and masculine room seem endless, lightless, and more than a little homoerotic. Hollister’s deska block of smoked, crackled glass spotlit with halogenswas easily the brightest object there, throwing an unearthly halo around its occupant and making him look like the Wizard of Oz.
On a headset phone, he waved for me to sit down.
I sat. Like in the rest of the house, there was no art upnot unless you counted the room itself, which I think you would have to.
“No,” he said and took off the headset. “Everything in one piece?”
“I think so.”
“Good. I told them to wait for us before they put anything in place. I’d like to get your opinion, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”
A small tone sounded on his computer. He glanced at the screen and touched a spot on the desktop. I didn’t see anything like a button, but behind me the door clicked open and the butler appeared with a tray of drinks, which he set on a stand before withdrawing in silence.
We talked about the house, which had taken three years to build. The original design scheme “was my ex-wife’s. All Shabby Chic. When we split up, I decided to give the place a fresh start. I hired a designer, wonderful girl, extremely creative and intelligent. So far we’ve been down several roads. First we put in all Arts and Crafts; then we went the art nouveau route. Nothing quite fit, so on to version three-point-oh.”
I might have suggested he find a designer with less wonderfulnesswhich I took to mean T&Aand more forethought. Instead, I said, “What are you going for?”
“I’d like it to be a little more intimate.”
I nodded, said nothing.
“You don’t think that’s possible, do you.”
“Anything’s possible.”
Hollister grunted a laugh. “Marilyn told you to agree with whatever I say.”
“She did. Although with enough money I really do think anything is possible.”
“Did she mention my secret?”
“I don’t think so.”
He smiled and touched another spot on the desktop, and a mechanical whirr started up. Slowly, the leather panels in the walls began to rotate, revealing, on the reverse, blank canvases. I counted twenty of them.
“I asked her for a list of the world’s greatest paintings,” he said. “Full
Fathom Five is going there.” He pointed to the next canvas, far smaller. “The View of Delft.” Next. “Starry Night.” And around the room he went, naming a canonical work and indicating an appropriately sized piece of primed cotton duck.
I wondered how he intended to acquire The Persistence of Memory, not to mention Les Demoiselles D’Avignon, The Nightwatch, and the Mona Lisa.
“She recommended an excellent copyist.” He then named an Argentinean, living in Toronto, best known for having been arrestedbut never convictedfor forging Rembrandts.
I considered the decision to line up all those competing pictures questionable at best. But Hollister seemed honestly thrilled by the idea. Describing himself as a “heavily quantitative thinker,” he raved to me about Marilyn’s ability to cut through the jargon and give a clear picture of what art mattered and what did not. She had given him some sort of numerical guideline for assessing a piece’s worth, and it was with this scale that he had decided to make me an offer on the Cracke drawing.
“To be frank,” he said, “I would have gone as high as four-fifty.” He touched the desk again, causing the panels to slowly rotate back to their original positions.
Except for onethe future resting place of The Burial of Count Orgaz, which got stuck after about a quarter turn. Hollister banged at it, found it intractable, and, reddening, touched the desk to summon Matthew. The butler appeared post-haste and, seeing the catastrophe, hurried from the room, cell phone in hand. As Hollister and I stepped from the office and made our way back toward the elevator, I heard a California accent rising to the top of its lungs.