“Before we start, is there anything you’d like to ask me, Derek?”
“Not really.”
I waited.
“Not at all,” he said. “I’ve actually done this before.”
“Talked to a psychologist.”
“More like a counselor,” he said. “At school, when they thought I was going to freak out.”
“About what?”
“Why I’m here,” he said. “Neither of them wanting me after the divorce.”
He sighed, eyes shifting to his lap. But his voice had remained steady. Same for the eyes, when they finally rose and met mine.
I said, “They told you that?”
“They didn’t like come out and say it but they wanted me to know that they were going to be traveling a lot. Like all the time. So it wouldn’t be in my best interests to be dependent on them.”
“Was that a surprise?”
“Not really,” he said. “It’s been pretty obvious right from the beginning.”
“What has?”
“They’re not equipped.”
“To...”
“Be parents.” He shifted forward. “They’re not bad people. They changed my life. Do you know where I was before they adopted me?”
“An orphanage in Russia.”
“In Ukraine. My birth mother was dead and my father was unknown. I was five when they brought me over. I don’t remember much except for being cold and hungry. When I got here they were excited.”
Several blinks. Momentary frown. Recalling a phase that had passed?
I said, “Excited about adopting you.”
“Yes. They told me how smart I was to learn English so fast. I wanted to learn it fast. So I could have a better life. They smiled a lot, there was a lot of smiling, I wasn’t used to smiling, no one smiled at the orphanage. They spoiled me.”
“With...”
“Toys, games, clothes, whatever. I had my own room. A sixty-inch flat-screen with full streaming. I don’t care about clothes but they like it so I wore what they got me and got into it. They sent me to private schools. Got me a BMX, then another when I outgrew it, then another even though the second was big enough but they wanted something more deluxe. Whatever I asked for I got. I thought I was in heaven.” Fleeting smile. “I kind of was.”
I said, “A good life materially.”
“Yes. I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate it. Appreciate them. I like them. I’ve always liked them. When either of them was alone with me they were cool.”
“Not when they were together.”
He shrugged. “They didn’t get along. They tried. Let me do what I wanted.”
I said, “Was all that freedom good?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Sometimes too much can be frightening.”
“Not to me,” he said. “It was the best.”
“It almost sounds like they were more friends than parents.”
He stiffened. “I don’t want anyone thinking I came in here to put them down. I never will, they’re not bad people, they’re just — okay, yeah, they never acted like most parents. But that also gave me more independence.”
“Total freedom.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t say total, Doctor. Like I’m sure if I wanted to drive his Lamborghini it would be no way. But I never asked for crazy stuff.”
“Anything safe was okay.”
“Please,” he said. “I really don’t want to put them down.”
“Don’t mean to push you in that direction. Sorry if I made you feel that way.”
“No, I know, you’re trying to help me. Sorry for criticizing.”
“You didn’t, Derek.”
“Whatever,” he said. “I never gave them a reason not to give me freedom.” He folded his arms across his chest.
I said, “You didn’t take foolish risks and they respected that.”
“Exactly.” The arms relaxed. “They knew I’d be smart — they’ve always said that. You’re smart. They tell me that all the time.”
“Got it. I hear you get great grades.”
“School’s not hard.”
I smiled.
He said, “Okay, I get a few A’s.”
“What did they think about that?”
“They said it was cool — I’m not saying they didn’t try to be parents, Doctor. Keeping a good attitude, they took me on a few trips when it was appropriate. But mostly they traveled separately.”
“Without you or without each other?”
“Both.”
“Who took care of you when they were gone?”
“Nannies when I was home. The school when I was in school. Everything they could do, they did.”
“I understand.”
“I hope so,” he said. “Like with... what’s going on. Wendy says they’ll be setting me up so I don’t have to struggle.”
“Financially.”
“Yes, a trust fund, whatever that is. Enough to take care of me so I can keep going to school.”
I said nothing.
He said, “There’s no reason they should force themselves to stay together because of me.”
“You feel that’s what they’ve done.”
“Yes.”
“For how long?”
“For always.” His eyes climbed to the ceiling. His hands knitted. “I mean they never said it to me.”
“But...”
“I heard it. When they were fighting.”
“You realize,” I said, “that doesn’t make their bad marriage your fault.”
“Well, it kind of does.” He smiled. “No, I get it, everyone says that so it’s got to be right. I don’t want to be a stumbling block. That’s what the counselor at school called it. Don’t feel like a stumbling block. She said the same kind of things — the same questions you’re asking. Wanted me to know it was their issue.”
He shrugged.
I said, “You’re not convinced.”
“I kind of am, Doctor, but also... I mean they said it nearly every time they fought. So it’s kind of obvious that it was a problem.”
“That still doesn’t make it your responsibility, Derek.”
“I know that,” he said. “I tell myself to keep knowing it, there’s no point getting freaked out over it. I’ll be at Hotchkins for three more years, anyway, and then hopefully I’ll get into a good college and hopefully that will lead to other good stuff.”
“What subjects are you interested in?”
“Everything, really,” he said. “I guess if I had to pick favorites it would be math and science but basically I’m curious about everything.”
“That’s great.”
He studied me.
I said, “Curiosity opens the world to you. It’s a big factor in success.”
“Really?”
“Really. So you’re going to be set up financially and happy about going back to school.”
“Exactly.”
“We’re not going to do this today, but next time I’ll be administering some tests to you to measure your ability.”
“Yes, Wendy said that. So they’d know how much schooling I’d need.”
“Sounds like you’re well informed.”
“I hope so.”
“But there’s still the matter of who’ll have legal custody—”
“Wendy,” he said.
“Wendy Sugihara?”
“That’s the plan, Doctor. If you — if you tell the judge and the judge says it’s okay. She already has three adopted kids so she’s used to the whole adopted thing. And Jack agrees. They told me it’s what you call a consensus.”
“Ah.”
Broad smile. “That’s why Wendy wanted to talk to you first. Why she said it would simplify everything. When you insisted, I didn’t say anything because I figured you had a good reason.”
“I did.”
“But not anymore, huh?” he said. “Now that you know about Wendy.”
“On the contrary, Derek. Especially now.”
He squinted. “I don’t get it.”