“Why would you wish that? Look what it did to Mrs. Clay!”
“I’ve heard that if you get close enough you can see through their skin, and that they actually have faces underneath. But hardly anyone gets the chance. If you ask me, the risk is absolutely worth it.”
“I suppose. But if I have to go the Baldlands, I would rather not see or even hear one.”
She could feel Theo’s attention sharpening. “So you’re going to the Baldlands?”
“I have to. Shadrack said to find Veressa, and that’s probably where she is. I think I have to go to Nochtland and ask at the academy.”
Theo lay silently in the darkness for a several seconds. “Tell you what,” he said eventually. “Seeing as I don’t have papers, it’d be a lot easier for me to get back to the Baldlands if I traveled with you. If you see me to the border, I’ll help you get from there to Nochtland.”
Sophia knew she could not ask Mrs. Clay to accompany her. Miles and the other explorers Shadrack counted as friends were gone, quick to leave after news of the borders’ closing. Traveling by train to New Orleans, the closest point to Nochtland, would be easy, but traveling into the Baldlands by herself would be a significant challenge. Sophia knew she could do it; she had confidence in herself as an explorer. She also knew that she could use help. “Okay,” she said. “Thanks,” she added, after a moment.
“No problem. Only fair—you help me, I’ll help you.” She heard him turn over and settle himself for sleep.
Sophia closed her eyes, somewhat relieved now that she had a way forward, a way to follow Shadrack’s instructions. But she did not sleep. Her mind turned gratefully from the disturbing images of Shadrack and the Lachrima to train schedules and other preparations. She began listing the items that she would need to pack.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a sound beyond that of the chimes. She lay with her eyes closed as Theo rose from his pallet and left the room. Sophia thought nothing of it until she heard, with surprise, that he was opening the door to the downstairs apartments. Her eyes flew open. She lay motionlessly for a moment longer, listening as he walked down the steps, and then she got to her feet.
She could hear Theo downstairs. He had stopped on the second floor. Sophia could see the pale yellow light of the flame-lamps stretching over the floorboards of the hallway. She frowned, a sense of unease spreading through her. What is he doing? she wondered. Very quietly, she began descending the steps to the second floor.
By letting her sense of time relax, Sophia could move so slowly that she made almost no sound. Several minutes later, she stood in the doorway of Shadrack’s bedroom, watching as Theo opened and closed the drawers of her uncle’s wardrobe. “What are you doing?” she demanded.
Theo jumped. Then he saw Sophia in the doorway, he shook his head, chuckling. “You’re good at that. How’d you walk down so quiet?”
“What are you doing in Shadrack’s room?”
“Don’t get upset,” Theo said placatingly. “I just had an idea.”
“What idea?” Sophia asked. For a moment she thought he might have remembered a clue, a sign: something that would lead them to Shadrack.
“I was thinking that, you know, likely your uncle didn’t have time to take his papers and lifewatch.”
The next moments expanded in her mind to encompass a much longer sense of betrayal. “You were going to take them?” she whispered. “You were going to steal Shadrack’s papers?”
“No!” Theo protested. “No, I wasn’t going to . . . steal them.”
“Then what?”
“I just thought it would make the trip easier if I had them—you know, if I borrowed them.”
“You were going to take Shadrack’s papers and leave on your own,” Sophia said, her tone hardening.
Theo rolled his eyes. “I was not. I was going to use the papers so it would be easier along the way and then give them back to you when we got to the Baldlands.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Why would you need to travel with me anyway if you had papers? Stolen papers,” she added bitterly.
“Because I already said I would,” Theo replied, suddenly angry as well. “I said I would go with you—we agreed.”
“Then you could have just waited until the morning and asked. Don’t you think I know where Shadrack keeps his papers?” Sophia’s voice was trembling.
“Fine, if you don’t want to believe me,” Theo shot back. “So what if I was going off on my own? What’s that to you?”
“I—”
“Your uncle can get new papers any time.” Theo took a deep breath. “I’m used to looking after myself, and that means worrying about myself first. You think I worried what would happen to Ehrlach without his caged pet? No. Where I come from you can’t think about other people first. It’s every man for himself.”
“I see,” Sophia said, stung. “So I’m just like Ehrlach then—Shadrack is just like Ehrlach. Every man for himself. Is that what you were thinking when you saw them taking Shadrack away?”
Theo paced angrily. “Yes. That’s exactly what I was thinking. One kid in feathers and five armed men. Not exactly good odds. I could have run into that mess, and right now I’d be wherever your uncle is. That would have been no help to either of us. Or I could have done what I did: watch what happened, stick around to tell you about it, and be here to help you get into the Baldlands.”
“Why should you help me? You don’t even care what happened to Shadrack! You just want his papers.” Sophia clenched her fists to steady herself.
Theo gave a sharp sigh of frustration. “Look, you’ve got the wrong idea. Yes—I’d rather do things on my own. That’s how I’ve always been, and I’m not going to apologize for it. But I keep my word. We agreed to help each other, and I’m going to stick to that. You can think what you like; I wasn’t going to take your uncle’s papers. I was just thinking about what would make getting to Nochtland easier.”
Sophia stared at Theo—his brown eyes, narrowed to wary slits, his hands clenched—and she realized that she had no idea who he was. The sense of sudden familiarity, that she could trust him, that he could be a friend, evaporated. “You should go on your own,” she said out loud, her cheeks burning. “I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Right now it only makes sense for us to help each other. Come on, think about it,” Theo said in an appeasing tone. “Do you have any idea how to get to Nochtland from the border?”
Sophia was silent. She felt a surge of panic at the thought. “Fine,” she said quietly.
“Good,” Theo said. “Our agreement stands, then.” He smiled, every trace of anger suddenly gone from his face.
Sophia took in his easy smile with indignation, giving him only a grimace in return. “Shadrack keeps his papers in a leather wallet in his vest,” she said softly. “And his lifewatch is on a chain clipped to his pocket. I’m sure he has them both.” Without waiting for a reply, she turned, her hair whisking across her shoulder, and stalked up to Mrs. Clay’s sitting room.
Soon Theo joined her there, stretching out on the carpet beside the sofa. Sophia was still angry; she could feel the blood pounding in her temples. And she was anxious; she knew she had no better alternative, but the thought of relying on Theo, who now seemed so unpredictable and unknown, filled her with apprehension. She tried to calm herself by staring overhead at the slow rotation of the chimes. They reflected the pale light from the window, casting small glimmers on the wall and ceiling. After several minutes had passed, she heard Theo’s heavy breathing and knew that he was asleep. She cast a sharp glance in his direction. Every man for himself, Sophia thought bitterly. What kind of philosophy is that? Not the kind of philosophy that makes you want to rescue someone in a cage, that’s for sure. I wish I’d never even thought of helping him.