I was frankly surprised he had remembered the story. I hadn’t thought he was listening very well when I told him and his sister about it. I thought carefully as I answered, “That’s a very clever way of thinking about it Matthew, but this is different. This isn’t actually something bad coming from something good, at least not always, because your mother’s anger isn’t a bad thing. Quite often it’s a good thing.”
He frowned, waiting for a better explanation.
“It’s like pain,” I said continuing. “It helps warn you, so you don’t hurt yourself more. A mother’s pain comes from the fear that we might be hurt, and because of that, she gets angry with us, but that anger serves the same purpose. It often keeps us from doing something stupid and hurting ourselves.”
“Oh,” he said, and his expression made it clear he felt the conversation had come to a satisfying conclusion.
Personally I was a bit let down. I had been rather pleased with my explanations, so it was a bit of an anti-climax to get nothing more than a simple ‘oh’ at the end of it. We continued down the hallways, and we were almost to our destination when he spoke again.
“Why do you get angry with Mom sometimes? Is it the same thing?”
Caught off guard I answered honestly, “No, I get mad at her because she’s stubborn, mule-headed, and occasionally just plain wrong.” I stopped as my mind replayed my words back to me. “Forget I said that,” I hastily amended.
“Why?” my son asked me without a trace of guile. I had to wonder if he was pretending to ignorance.
“You know why. Just leave that part out when you repeat all this to your brother and sister later,” I told him.
“But I can tell Mom, right?” The little monster was smiling openly.
I glared at him. I can’t believe I’ve sired a banker… or perhaps a bandit. “I’ll bring you something sweet from the kitchen later,” I said without explanation.
Matthew grinned, “I like the berry tarts best.”
“We have a deal then,” I replied, tousling his hair with one hand. He gave me a spontaneous hug, and then we started walking again.
I could feel him looking up at me as we walked, but I didn’t turn my head. “I wouldn’t really have told on you,” he said.
“I know,” I answered.
After leaving the boys with Lady Rose, Dorian and I walked together for a ways. He was heading for the barracks to double check the men before King Nicholas arrived later in the day. I had several other things to do, last of which would be going to collect said king and his entourage.
“Dorian,” I said, using a tone that signaled I had something serious to talk about.
My friend was a consummate worrier, and his face wrinkled up immediately. “Uh oh,” he said.
“Penny had a dream last night,” I began, “the sort we don’t like, if you take my meaning.”
“Go on,” he urged me.
“The shining gods… and Mal’goroth as well, have crossed into our world.”
“You said that wasn’t possible,” Dorian noted in a deeply worried voice.
I stopped walking and turned toward him. “Normally it isn’t possible, unless they have help from a wizard on this side.”
“But all the wizards we know of are here, with us.”
“Somehow, they created the bridge without any aid from this side.” I held up a hand to forestall his next question. “I don’t know how, but I think the more important question at this point, is why.”
Dorian looked at me as though I had gone mad. “That should be obvious, Mort! They’re here to exact vengeance upon you and the rest of us as well. This is what we’ve been expecting ever since the day you turned Celior into a pretty stone.”
I shook my head. “That’s what I thought seven years ago, but a lot of time has passed since then. I had all but given up on the notion that they would seek revenge. In fact, I think perhaps they were afraid to face me.”
“Then why now?”
“I think they’re desperate. Mal’goroth is much stronger than they are. I think they’re afraid of him,” I explained.
Dorian was disbelieving, “How could you know their relative strengths? Did you convince them to come in so you could measure their ‘Celiors’?”
I was impressed that he had used my new unit of measure, though his question annoyed me. “No, I simply felt it. Last night while Penny was having her vision, I had a dream of my own. I sensed each of them, and the difference between them was like the difference between a mountain and a foothill. They have good cause to fear Mal’goroth. Worse, I believe I’m the one that helped give him that power.”
“Now I know you’re crazy,” Dorian observed.
“When we fought the army of Gododdin, he told me that the deaths of his soldiers would only make him stronger. He also told me that his cultists would sacrifice the families of every soldier that didn’t survive. I wiped out over thirty thousand men at the end of that war… and his priests damn near succeeded in killing all of their families. That’s what finally sparked the revolt that put Nicholas back in power,” I said firmly. “Think how much power Mal’goroth must have gained from all those lives. He can’t draw power from human prayers like the shining gods can, but he gains a considerable amount from each life taken in his service. I helped to give him that power, whether I intended to or not.”
“This sounds a lot like you throwing a pity party for yourself again. Stop trying to take responsibility for everything that happens,” my burly friend growled at me. “What’s more important is how we respond… what we do.”
I couldn’t argue with that point. “You’re right. Though in my defense, I didn’t want pity. I just wanted to explain my theory on his gain in strength.”
Dorian snorted, “Sure, fine. We need to call the men back. Cyhan needs to return. If the gods plan to attack us, we’ll need every one of our knights.”
We had begun planning for a situation similar to this years ago. “That doesn’t match our third contingency plan,” I told him. The third plan dealt with our response if all three of the shining gods came against us together. “Having them here only makes evacuation more problematic.”
“Just because they all crossed over doesn’t mean they will all come here. They still might send only one or two. Do you have any idea how much time we will have?” he asked.
“Something on the order of a week, possibly more,” I replied.
“You have to call the other men back. We cannot assume that the worst scenario will play out,” Dorian advised me again. “What will you tell King Nicholas tonight?”
That hadn’t even crossed my mind yet, so it took me a moment to decide. “Nothing, other than the fact that we’ve got some sort of training planned, and that the patrol will be delayed. Anything more would just put him ill at ease over something he can’t control. We’ll let him return home. He should be safer there.”
Dorian grimaced. “I don’t like lying. We should cancel his stay and call everyone together to refresh them all on the plans. The celebration this week should be canceled as well.”
He was referring to the annual holiday to honor our defeat of the army of Gododdin. The same event I had argued with King Nicholas about. Although I truly loathed the reminder of what I considered one of my darkest decisions, I felt canceling it would be a mistake. “No… it won’t interfere with our preparations. We are already prepared as well as can be, and as far as lying goes, just keep your mouth shut and I’ll lie for both of us.”
“But you can’t…,” he started.
I interrupted him before he could get too worked up, “I’ve made up my mind, Dorian, let it go.”
He closed his mouth for a moment and then opened it again, “People need to be reminded about their duties when the alarm goes out. When will we start drills?”