Chapter 19
That evening arrived after a day that had gone on too long. Though I had started the day with every intention of trying to enjoy the festive atmosphere, the underlying reason for the celebration still bothered my conscience. I was looking forward to the wine that would come with the feast. Once we were past the toast itself, I could relax and try to pretend that it was simply another holiday. The alcohol would be a welcome way to take the edge off of my nerves.
The hall itself was full to bursting with people. When we had restored the castle, I had had it built with what seemed to be more than enough room, but on days such as this one, it felt cramped. Penny often told me that this was not such a bad thing. If it were large enough for everyone on big holidays, then it would seem overlarge the rest of the year. She also subscribed to the notion that not being ‘quite’ big enough to hold everyone, made a holiday feel more special. Something about the feeling of being elbow to elbow with everyone.
I was pretty sure she was just plain wrong. The damn place needed to be a bit bigger. As soon as you enlarge it more people will show up and it will be too small again, I thought to myself pessimistically.
The walls were bedecked with flowers and garlands, and the stone floors had been swept and fresh straw and fragrant grasses scattered, to give the hall a pleasant smell. Everything seemed bright and beautiful, which seemed an ironic contrast to the fact that we were, in fact, celebrating an epic slaughter. It’s a good thing I chose the spring to do my butchery. We didn’t have a good holiday for this time of year before that, I thought bitterly to myself.
A hand on my arm broke me from my reverie. Glancing over I saw Penny’s eyes on me. She knew my moods better than anyone. Without a word, her touch and knowing look communicated her sympathy to me, along with a gentle message to ‘snap out of it’. Her empathy had limits; if I continued to sulk she’d give me hell later.
I gave her my best smile and rose from my seat, doing my best to project warmth and cheer to all whose eyes were now fixed firmly upon me. “I would like to thank you all for your efforts to make this a happy occasion,” I said loudly, addressing the entire room. “As you know we have more to worry about this year than we have in years past, but I am confident that if we continue to work together, we will come through this crisis just as we did the event that led to this celebration. Before we begin the feasting and drinking, we will have our traditional first toast, to be given this year by our good Lady Rose, at her request. If the servers will bring in the wine, we can begin!”
The kitchen doors opened, and the staff began circulating through the room, bearing ewers of wine, filling each cup. As they did Penny touched Moira on the shoulder, and my daughter hurried from the room. Matthew watched her go enviously, while Conall hadn’t a clue what was occurring. Little Irene was being kept in the nursery. I glanced at Penny, a question in my eyes.
“She’s fetching your cup for the feast,” she said in answer to my unspoken query.
“Ahh,” I said in sudden understanding. Idly I watched Moira’s progress with my magesight while half listening to Rose’s introductory speech. My daughter was met in the kitchen by Peter, who handed her a small silver tray bearing a bottle of wine and two silver goblets. I could tell by her posture that she was excited by the responsibility, and Peter patted her on the head after carefully passing her the tray. After she left him, I noticed that she stopped behind the door for a moment. That little scamp, she just stole a drink from my cup! I couldn’t help but smile. What child doesn’t want to know what their parent’s drink tastes like? I could sense her face crinkling in disgust after her sip.
As Moira emerged from the kitchen and approached the table, Rose motioned toward her, “As a gesture of peace and goodwill, even as we remember that bloody day, King Nicholas was gracious enough to gift us with a bottle of Dalensan Instritas, one of the finest, and since the war, rarest, vintages from Gododdin. While there isn’t enough for all of us, our good Count and Countess will be using it for the toast tonight in acknowledgement of the peace that now exists between our two nations.”
I had to hand it to her… Rose knew how to manage a crowd. Her skillful speech had put a thoughtful face on most of the crowd, although I did hear one person in the back muttering about ‘damned Gododdin wine’. Moira approached me with a look of serious concentration, determined not to spill the wine on the tray before her.
“I brought your wine, Father,” she said as she set the tray down on the table. With a flourish that must have been rehearsed, she picked up the first cup and handed it to me. “This one is for you, Father… and this one for you, Mother,” she announced as she passed each goblet to us. After we had taken them, she curtsied and moved back to stand in her place beside Penny. My heart swelled with pride to see her so graceful in front of the crowd.
Rose’s voice rose majestically as she spoke, emphasizing her movement as she lifted her goblet, “Raise your cups, for peace and remembrance… for those that sacrificed that we might be here today, for the blood that was shed for us, and the lives that were lost! Raise your cups that we might never forget the price of the peace we now enjoy! Raise your cups for the man that defends us still, and drink in the certain knowledge that we will defend him and his honor to the last! Drink to our most noble lord, the Count di’Cameron, Mordecai Illeniel!”
As her speech rose to a crescendo, her eyes met mine, and I was surprised to see tears in them. Looking past her to Dorian, I noticed his own eyes were wet as well. I felt unworthy to see such devotion in their gazes, but everywhere I turned I saw it echoed… even in my own family’s faces. A deafening roar drowned even my jaded self-doubt, as every man and woman in the hall shouted out their agreement.
A wave of love and affection from the people I had striven so hard to preserve and protect washed over me, and I found myself moved to tears even as I returned their gesture. Turning my cup up, I downed it in one long draught before setting it aside to stare at the noisy crowd of people, my people. “I don’t deserve this, but from my heart I thank you all,” I answered them; though it was doubtful that any beyond the closest could hear me. My throat had become choked with emotion.
Returning to my seat, I waved for everyone to sit down. I studiously ignored the smiles of my friends, as I wiped away my tears and pretended to look for the food. My task was made more difficult, as first Penny and then each of my children insisted upon kissing me on the cheeks. And people wonder why I hate this damn holiday.
Rose leaned across the table to whisper close to my ear, “I meant every word, lest you think I was putting on a show, but I still think you’re an ass for making my husband continue his patrols.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise at her remark, and for a moment my heart relaxed. For some reason, while all the praise and adulation had made me more anxious, her honest complaint eased my tension. I gave her my most genuine smile of the evening, “That is an unfortunate consequence of the responsibility I have taken as the Count di’Cameron.”
She nodded in understanding. Lady Rose Thornbear might not agree with my decision, but she did understand the position I was in as liege lord. She had been born to such authority after all; she knew it as well as any.
“I think that was the best toast we’ve had since we began these holidays,” Penny told me from where she sat beside me. “Rose certainly has a way with words.”
My lips quirked into a half smile. “When she knows she can use them to embarrass someone, she will go to any length to accomplish that goal,” I replied.