Into this frightening picture steps Thimble Theater, a.k.a. Sparky Valentine, with an offer GP can't refuse. When the dust settles TT owns all rights to the characters of Sparky and Polly, and all back numbers of the Sparky show. GP is still not back in the black, but he's out of the ultraviolet.
August 1 (King City Temple)
The July Flack Numbers as compiled by the Trends Research Department of the Latitudinarian Church are as follows:
| TITLE | AAS | Last Month | Last Year | |
| 1. | Sparky and His Gang | 93.3 | 2 | 5 |
| 2. | Skunk Cabbage | 89.4 | 1 | 1 |
| 3. | Admiral Platypus | 84.0 | 3 | 3 |
| 4. | Scoop the Poop | 82.1 | 4 | 4 |
| 5. | Space Weasels | 79.5 | 11 | 20 |
At last! After an heroic two-year struggle, Sparky hits number one!
It's a good thing, too, or this column would be dull as dishwater. The only other number worth noting is the steady progress of Weasels, finally reaching the Fab Five. Plenty of educators out there are hoping it will soon reach number three, so maybe the Weasels can eat the Cabbages and die! Rounding out the comfortable middle of the table is the usual gang of suspects.
Former champ, the Gideon Peppy Show, is still out of the running, "on hiatus" is the polite expression. Word is it's a hiatus that may prove terminal. Peppiprod is still sniffing about for some bucks to get back in front of the cameras.
Contacted about the hard times his company has fallen on... well, we know GP would have had something snappy and witty to say, but we didn't ask him, as our reporter is not anxious to have his jaw broken again. We'll let you know how the lawsuit comes out. And frankly, at this point nobody really cares about the shine on his shoes, the lint on his hard candy, or the crap in his trousers.
from Hebephrenia
column of 6/6/59
"At Home with the Like Wireheads! Ex. P!" by D. Mentua Precox
touch doublestrikes for sound
touch Hyperlined words for refs
...and so when they asked me if I'd, you know, like to spend a few hours like with everybody's fayvyiest brillo-domes, I was all like "Get a clue unquote!" Like, the D stands for Dumbbunny, but not Dope, you load? But they were all like serious as green cheese, and stuff, so I packed my extra sox and training bra and pootled down to the backlot where they were making like the very first Sparky and Polly movie with the, like, Gang. Comma comma period. And there was this quote "dressing room" unquote that Sparky and Polly shared? You know? Question mark? Only it was bigger then D. Mentua's entire cubic!! Exc. etc. I mean, the D stands for Dazzled! Also for I Dug it!
So then Polly answers my like toodleoo in her you know Polly outfit and her hair looking like frozen noodles. And she's all like "Dee! How nice to see!" (Polly's voice ©59 Thimble Theater Productions) And I'm all howjadew howjadew and you know what I'm thinking is, how is it that, like yesterday noodleheads looked all haha looserbilly and stuff, and like, today it's all just treacle and buttered toast? Question mark! How like weird! ExMark? The D stands for Dumbfounded, you know? And then before you know it it's all last Tuesday.
Well, if you've had enufquote "deep thought" unquote for the day, I just had to point out to Pretty Pol that I, D. Period Mentua, had scoffed when the trendbillies like put you two out as mere hulahoops ten-day wondering, as it like were, when I was fritzing it about that you were the gen-you Frisbee! Whamm-o ex ex ex!!! and she goes "And we thank you for it." Your humbuggle narrator came over all pink and stuff. Shit!
And so dinner was served (no electric noodles! paren)thesis comma, and who should come flycycling by but the man/boy of the our, as well as hour, Sparky. And he goes "Long time no Dee!" (Sparky's voice ©59 Kenneth Valentine) and I'm howjadew all over the place again. period. And then most of the time yrs t. is sitting churchmouselike in a corner like watching breathlesslike while tag teams of atts-at-law, counselor, are shuttling massives of paper between the Sparkabilly and his like ex loco p., period comma, lady name of Melina I'd-tell-you-her-last but D stands for Dud when speling wurds of more than five slylabbles. Sillybabbles. Slybulls. D stands for Don't call on me, teacher! Syllables! and that's the lesson for today!
And she Melina is going "Sparky, I don't know anything about these legal matters, and Sparky goes "Don't worry, 'Ma,'" comma threes-trophe, and he goes "That's what lawyers are for." And the babble of attorneys keeps bringing on the papers. And I go "What's this all about question mark," and Sparky goes it's something about a makeover for Giddy Pep and I go boy, could he ever use it, did you lamp those yellow shoes, how un-Fahrenheit, with, goggle, gulp, red suspenders, gimmeachance here! Exclam! Then D.M.P. proozled thru a few, papers lying idly about and stuff, but when it comes to contracts D stands for a D in business ad. period and another D in business math. I'm sure there was a story there for some intrepid news-nosey, but not this my'self please!
So anyway where was I oh, yeah the Royal We spent an hour with the P. and S., and I bet you'd love to hear it. Well, pull your diapers back up, gramma, you didn't think it was all, like, freedie time, didja? Just load up $19.95 and get momster or dadster to thumb it to me for the real cheese! In threedee as in Dementia or D. Mentia, living crayolacolor big as a slice of life Phew! I got that all out in one breath! Period!
from News Nipple
Financial Page
11/11/59
Thimble Theater in Peppy Takeover
In a surprise move today, Thimble Theater Productions, whose chief asset is the children's television show Sparky and His Gang, took control of Peppiprod, Inc., formerly Captained by Gideon Peppy, the originator of the series. At first glance, the transaction seems a case of a minnow swallowing a whale. But according to City Exchange analysts, it was a very hungry and aggressive minnow and a very tired, hollow whale. Peppiprod was saddled with a crippling debt load resulting from recent adverse court decisions in favor of Thimble Theater's managing director and chief stockholder, Kenneth Valentine. Efforts to obtain refinancing for such a speculative venture were making little progress until the takeover bid was announced. Hours later a consortium of investors solidified the deal.
(For financial details PRESS HERE)
The move was vigorously opposed by Chairman Peppy, but in the end his position was not strong enough to appeal to stockholders who stood to benefit in the transaction.
It is little wonder Peppy was opposed. In an odd twist, it turns out that all rights to the character "Gideon Peppy" are owned by Peppiprod, a situation brought about by certain tax advantages. It would seem then that Gideon Peppy, the person, no longer owns the rights to his own voice and image. Thimble Theater could, if it chose, enjoin him from wearing the clothing associated with the character he created—and now largely lives—or at least appearing in public as the character. It could even prevent him from using his own voice in commercial situations. Vaporum is now abuzz with lawyers and agents, seeking to rewrite contracts to avoid a similar conundrum for their clients. That won't be necessary for Ken Valentine, who personally owns the rights to his television character "Sparky," leasing it to Thimble Theater in an arrangement sure to be widely copied.