Hazel really was the sweetest woman I’d ever met. Owen had been right about that. She kept offering us food. She invited us into the house, where she brought out some toys for the kids to play with while we talked.
Her house was exactly what a grandmother’s house should be. It was cozy and felt very comfortable. Things she’d made were everywhere in the room. There was no loud TV noise, only the sound of a ticking clock and the clinking of her knitting needles. I could hear the sound of crayons scraping against paper. At my house, so much quiet might’ve been unnerving, but here, it was welcoming.
I watched in awe as the blanket quickly grew longer and longer. I couldn’t wait to learn.
“Could you teach me now?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t too eager or rude.
“Well, sure.” She grabbed a set of needles and a ball of yarn and sat beside me on the couch. She began teaching me right then. She was amazed at how quickly I was learning.
I sat there for hours with Hazel, talking and knitting without a care in the world.
59 Jill
I looked out the window for a little while, watching the fence go up at Carla’s. I’d been on my way over to her place when I saw her and the kids cross the street and go to Hazel’s. I didn’t want to disturb her visit, so I waited.
While I waited, I thought about my poor Andy. He’d called and told me that his mother had passed away. I wanted to be with him. He needed me. But I was here, without him.
I stretched out on the couch and closed my eyes. I imagined him crying, and it made my heart ache.
I knew what I was going to do. I was so aggravated and upset that I hadn’t had a chance to talk to him yet, but now it seemed as though it was meant to be.
The moment he came home, no matter what happened, I was going to tell Andy my news. No more obstacles. Nothing was going to stop me from telling him. Nothing or no one.
I lay there, wondering if Owen would mind that instead of me sitting with Carla, she was sitting with Hazel.
I fell asleep on the couch thinking of how Andy would react to what I had to tell him.
Of course, instead of having pleasant dreams of Andy while I napped, I had nightmares about Bernie.
60 Owen
“I think it looks good,” I said looking at the fence.
“It’s a behemoth!” Carla exclaimed. “You don’t think it’s too big?”
I laughed and wrapped my arms around her. “No. If it means that I feel better and that you’re safer, then it’s perfect. Besides, a lot of people have fences this tall.” I didn’t tell her that the main reason for the fence was so that I could know that while I watched her house from mine, Bernie couldn’t get to her without me seeing him. In fact, I hadn’t even told her about staking out her house. I didn’t want her worried or upset.
I ate dinner with Carla and the kids that evening. I’d slept through most of the day, which both bothered me and assured me. It bothered me because it cut into my time with Carla. But it assured me because now I was free to spend the night watching Bernie.
I helped Carla put the kids to bed. I watched from the doorway as she read to them. For the first time, I had thoughts about having a baby with her. And not just a baby, but a future.
I watched her kiss them each on the forehead and wondered if she would be with me forever.
When the kids were kissed and tucked, we went to Carla’s room. I didn’t expect anything to happen. I wasn’t going to push her in any way. I just wanted to hold her as much as she wanted me to hold her.
And I did. I held her in my arms until she fell asleep.
She knew I was going to leave once she was out. My sleep was still off schedule so I couldn’t sleep if I wanted to. What she didn’t know was that I was going to be sitting on my porch, keeping watch over her again.
I crept out of the house, making sure to set the alarm and lock the door behind me. With the key Carla had given me earlier, I could come and go as I pleased. I had given her a key to my house as well. We never knew when either of us might need to get through a locked door, and nothing made that easier to do than a key. I slipped into the night, leaving Carla in bed asleep.
Thunder boomed loudly, and I couldn’t deny that it scared the crap out of me. I wasn’t expecting it. It’s not like it had been thundering for a while. It was the first clap, sudden and loud, and seemingly right above me.
I quickly crossed the street. If it was going to rain, I wanted to be home before it started.
As I stepped up onto the sidewalk in front of Hazel’s house, I glanced in Bernie’s direction.
I nearly stopped in my tracks, but I somehow managed to keep walking, though it was barely more than slow motion. And I was unable to look away.
There on the porch, stood Bernie, staring at me.
Our eyes were locked, neither of us looking away. I kept walking, he kept standing there. He was at the top of the steps with one arm above his head, holding him up as he leaned against a pillar. He wore his scuffed cowboy boots and an untied dingy robe which flared open, revealing his naked body. Even from across the street, I could see his perverted excitement.
I saw all this in my peripheral vision, as I didn’t look away from his eyes.
Standing there, illuminated only by the streetlight, Bernie looked menacing. He was more than just a naked crazy man standing on his porch. He was a threat to everyone who lived on this street. I sensed something different about him. I wasn’t sure what it was. Something in his eyes, perhaps. Something in his stance, maybe. I didn’t know, but I sensed it. It made my skin crawl.
I was directly in front of his house now. A few more steps would cause me to break eye contact with him. I didn’t want to be the one who looked away, but to keep looking would mean either walking backward the rest of the way to my house, or turning my head all the way around. And this wasn’t a movie. That would be impossible.
Before I took the few steps that would cause me to look away, Bernie smiled at me.
I froze.
It wasn’t a regular smile. It was a gloat. The son of a bitch was gloating. That smile said to me ‘I do what I want and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about it’.
I clenched my fists.
I wanted desperately to run across the street and rip that smile off his face and shove it up his ass. I wanted to snap his neck in my hands. I wanted to slit his throat and watch him bleed. I wanted to do every horrible thing I could think of to stop him from standing there smiling at me that way.
I swear that as I stood there thinking of the ways I’d love to make him suffer, that smile broadened.
My jaws hurt from being clenched so tightly. I felt like I was about to snap.
I paid no attention to the rain that fell on me now. It didn’t matter that it soaked my clothes and hair. All that mattered was that Bernie was standing there smiling at me with that wicked smile, all but begging me to kick his ass.
If he wasn’t careful, that’s exactly what was going to happen.
I kept staring at him through the pouring rain, not only unwilling to break the eye contact, but unable to. What could’ve only been half a minute passed, but it felt more like hours. I was going to have to move. There was no doubt about that. The question would be, would I bolt over to Bernie and knock that smile off his face, or would I go home and wait until Andy came back?
61 Bernie
That damn Owen looked so stupid standing there in the rain. I wanted to laugh out loud, but I fought it and won. I’d laugh later. For now, I just wanted to show him that he wasn’t shit to me.