Steven was afraid that she might change the subject so he said, ‘But he did decide to talk to Martin Hendry?’
‘Yes he did,’ agreed Jane distantly. ‘After all these years and all that his damned past had done to us he finally chose a complete stranger to unburden himself to. A certain irony there, don’t you think?’ She paused and re-charged Steven’s wine glass before pouring what remained of the bottle of Riesling into her own.
‘Pudding?’ she asked.
‘Er, yes,’ said Steven, unprepared for Jane’s sudden change from wistfulness to concerned hostess.
‘I’ve made a lemon tart and, although I say it myself, it is spectacular,’ she said, getting up from the table and disappearing inside. She returned with two large portions of lemon tart and a jug of cream.
‘You weren’t joking!’ exclaimed Steven as he tried a mouthful. ‘This is wonderful!’
‘Told you,’ said Jane, making him smile.
When they’d both finished, Jane suggested that it might be more comfortable if they sat on the garden swing — a chintz-covered couch mounted on a metal swinging frame beneath a canopy of the same material and positioned between two silver birch trees.
‘That was a delicious lunch,’ said Steven as he settled down on to it.
‘I’m glad you enjoyed it,’ said Jane, sitting down beside him. ‘God, this weather’s so nice,’ she said, leaning back and closing her eyes. ‘If only it was like this more often. I think we bought this swing two years ago and used it about four times in all.’
‘Makes you appreciate it all the more when it happens,’ said Steven. ‘We’d get bored if it was like this all the time.’
‘Do you really believe that?’ asked Jane.
‘No,’ replied Steven and they both laughed.
‘You mentioned something earlier about what George’s secrets had done to you?’ Steven said gently. ‘What did you mean by that?’
Jane kept her eyes closed and remained silent for a few moments. Steven watched the sunlight flicker on her eyelids as the swing moved slowly to and fro. He suspected she was considering whether she should say any more or not.
‘When I first met George he told me that he’d worked at Porton Down some years before — I must say I hadn’t even heard of the place at the time — and that he’d suffered a nervous breakdown. He told me that he’d recovered but that he was prone to bouts of depression. I felt it was no big deal and thought I knew what to expect. I suppose like all women in love I thought I could change things. I could make him happy and everything would be fine but, of course, I couldn’t and it wasn’t. George was moody: he had nightmares. He couldn’t — or wouldn’t — tell me why or what about so I just had to assume that it had something to do with his secret past. Gradually he lost interest in… the physical side of our married life so we ended up having separate bedrooms.’
‘I see,’ said Steven.
‘Don’t get me wrong, George was the kindest, most gentle man when he was well and we loved each other… in our own way; a bit like brother and sister I suppose in the last few years.’
‘You were going to adopt a child,’ said Steven.
‘We thought — I thought — it might help.’
‘Compensate for not having any of your own?’
‘I suppose. The frustrating thing for me was that there was nothing physically wrong with George. It was all psychosomatic. He just seemed to be on the mother and father of all guilt trips. He could just never relax enough to…’
‘Make love to you?’ said Steven softly, turning his head to look at Jane’s closed eyes. She opened them and turned to face him. ‘Yes,’ she said.
At that moment every other thought in Steven’s head gave way to an overwhelming desire to kiss Jane Sebring and he did, very gently. It was every bit as beautiful as he thought it might be, her mouth was warm and inviting and the fact that she did not draw away made it all the more exciting.
‘I always knew drinking at lunch time was a bad idea,’ said Jane as they moved apart.
‘Steven kissed the side of her neck.
‘This is silly,’ murmured Jane. ‘I hardly know you… and George has only been dead for…’
‘Several years by the sound of it,’ said Steven. ‘That was sheer selfishness on his part. He shouldn’t have made his guilt yours. You are a beautiful woman; it’s a perfect summer’s day and my only secret is that I want to make love to you.’
‘The really awful thing,’ murmured Jane as Steven continued to kiss her neck and run his tongue across her ear lobe. ‘Is that I want you to.’
‘Upstairs?’
After a moment’s hesitation, Jane took Steven by the hand and led him up to her bedroom where sunshine was streaming in through the open window and the smell of fresh linen and newly-mown grass was heavy in the air. She lay down on the bed and turned to look at him, the look in her eyes giving him all the invitation he needed. He knelt astride her and removed her jeans and top before taking off his own clothes. He lay down beside her to run his hands over the curves of her body while his mouth sought hers. He unhooked her bra and moved down on her to suck on her nipples and tease them with his tongue, becoming increasingly aroused by the groans of pleasure that were coming from her.
Jane reached down and took his erect penis in her hands. She altered position to take it into her mouth and it was Steven’s turn to gasp with pleasure. He caught a glimpse of dust motes dancing in a sunbeam as he turned his head on the pillow, willing the minutes to become hours. Jane released him and swung her right leg over his to sit up astride him and look down at him. ‘I told you, I’m used to being in charge,’ she said.
‘We’ll see,’ replied Steven, gripping her buttocks firmly and pulling her up higher on him. She laughed and reached behind her to grip his penis with both hands while he cupped both her breasts in his hands and squeezed. ‘God, you really are beautiful,’ he murmured.
‘Why thank you, kind sir,’ said Jane.
Steven brought Jane up on him until she was sitting on his chest. She was still wearing her panties so he moved the silky crotch to one side to seek out her clit with his tongue.
‘Oh sweet Jesus,’ murmured Jane, reaching out in front of her with the palms of her hands to steady herself against the wall. ‘That is… is… bloody wonderful.’
At length Jane, sweat running down her face and breathing heavily, looked down at Steven and said, ‘Much as I’m learning to love your tongue, I think something more substantial is called for.’ She rolled over and spread her legs, taking Steven’s penis in her hand and guiding him into her as he rolled on top.
‘Now that is good,’ she gasped as he filled her up. ‘Very good.’
‘Bloody wonderful,’ murmured Steven, thrusting into her in a slow rhythmic grind.
‘I’m going to feel so guilty…’
‘Fuck feeling guilty,’ whispered Steven.
‘No… fuck me,’ gasped Jane.
At length and without withdrawing from her, Steven reached down and pulled Jane’s left leg across between them so that she was turned onto her right shoulder.
‘What are you doing?’ she giggled.
‘Something I always do to bossy women,’ he replied. ‘Fuck them sideways.’
Jane giggled.
As they lay together in complete calm with the birds singing outside in the garden and the leaves rustling in the soft summer breeze that played with the curtains, Jane whispered. ‘That was outrageous.’
‘Was it that bad?’ murmured Steven.
‘Don’t be obtuse,’ said Jane, poking him in the ribs. ‘You know damn well it wasn’t. But now comes the guilt. We really shouldn’t have.’