‘Fly me to the Moon’
Well, all the way over to Pink Floyd’s dark side there.
Course, no one can keep apace. It’s like a cobra on speed. Get outa the road, fast.
Then, the crash... oh shit, it’s not the bottom of the pit. It’s below that, scraping further down. A bleak nothing landscape of pure desolate emptiness. That’s the destination, to dwell there in all yer days.
So I took the lithium and headed for Danny’s.
He lives in Meadow Road, not far from the Oval. You can hear the crowd roars during the Test series. A one-up, one-down terrace house, as re-converted by yuppie values. Brass knocker in the shape of a mermaid.
I like that.
Gave it a fine wallop. A girl of sixteen... or maybe thirty-two... slim, dark hair, black Levi’s and one of those... (halter-tops, are they?)... nice smile... opens the door.
‘Mr Brady?’ she asks.
Jeez, how old is that?
‘How d’ya know I’m not a Mormon.’
‘Bad teeth.’
‘What? I frigging pride myself on those pearlies. Brush ’til I bleed with that tooth-whitener. The paint off a gate job. My face obviously showed all the shock.’
She laughed, said, ‘I’m winding ya’ up, you have nice teeth, come on in, I’m Crystal.’
‘Hello Crystal.’
I liked her. Mouth without malice, a rare humour. Danny was in the garden with Reed. Both in track suits... team players, eh? The fruits of derailment.
I said:
‘Yer daughter let me in.’
Danny’s face tightened and Reed laughed.
‘That be his old lady bro’.’
‘Oh... and there was me thinking I’d interrupted her homework.’
Danny dropped in a deckchair, said, ‘Least ways she’s female, eh Brady?’
‘Or will be when she grows up.’
Reed threw his hands in the air.
‘Yo’, guys — nuff of dis shee-hit.’
Danny shrugged, then:
‘Crystal, bring a cold one for Tone...’ He looked at me, asked, ‘Yeah?’
‘What the hell,’ I said.
‘Yeah.’
After I got that, I sat and Reed said, ‘I dun told Danny what we be planning.’
I nodded, asked Danny, ‘You in?’
‘Sure, but we can expect deep shit from that guy, he’s a serious operator.’
‘You leave Leon to us.’
‘Didn’t mean him, it’s the Paddy, he’s no fool.’
‘Naw, no worries.’
I was wrong of course.
Danny asked how I planned on it going down.
I launched forth:
‘We’ll need CS gas, a van and luck. All you need is to make sure the engines running and stop for nothing... Okay?’
‘Sure.’
‘That’s about it. Once we got here, we deliver her to Dulwich, collect the cash and avoid Brixton for a bit.’
Reed said, ‘I gots me a thought.’
‘Shoot.’
‘Let’s keep the bitch.’
Danny laughed.
I didn’t, asked, ‘Keep her?’
‘Sho’, we tell de man she be kidnapped, he pay to git her back, she his daughter.’
‘Jesus.’
‘An... we’s offer her back to Leon. Gits him to pay too.’
‘That’s crazy.’
Danny said, ‘I like it, get ’em both to cough up.’
‘Okay, Reed, say I’m daft enough to agree. Who gets her... Leon or Jack?’
‘I dunno bro’, I be making dis up as I go’s along.’
Already I was thinking, it was just manic enough to work. We had a warehouse for storing videos. Reed and I had sometimes crashed there and it had the essentials...
Electricity
Shower
Bed
Small cooker
Yeah, I could get to like this.
Reed smiled, said, ‘Yo’, like it... yeah, yo’ like it a lot.’
I repeated, ‘Make both the bastards pay.’
‘It’s evil bro’, real fuckin’ wicked.’
Danny thought so too, shouted, ‘Crystal, bring a rake of cold ones, honey.’
9
Danny had the burglar’s pre-requisite: invisibility, or as near as matters. Unless he spoke, you didn’t notice him. Every time I saw a police photo-fit, I thought, ‘Danny.’
Yeah, he looked like everybody and nobody. He was about five-ten. I say ‘about’ cos there were times when he seemed to have shrunk. His hair was light brown, his features even and he weighed in about 160lbs. But I wouldn’t swear to any of that.
The only distinctive feature was a cross he wore. He had all the necessary south-east London gear:
bent Rolex
Sovereign rings
gold ID bracelet
— the mandatory villain’s outfit.
The cross was plastic and looked like it had been chewed. He wore it on a thin string of leather.
I’d said to Reed, ‘What’s with the Woolworth’s plastic?’
‘Man, dat be the third cross.’
This was supposed to enlighten me?
I asked ‘This supposed to enlighten me?’
And got the story.
When Danny got grassed, he received two years and with the overcrowding, he was shuffled to the Isle of Wight.
Some guys, prison is a natural habitat, they adapt fast and even thrive. Others, it’s the very last place they ought to be. Danny was the latter. Being banged-up completely freaked him.
Suicide was his desperate decision. One December morning, he’d wandered into the Chapel in search of heat... and down there, in winter, it is real fucking cold. Shivering, his eyes fell on a makeshift model of Calvary. The three crosses and little figures huddled at the base. The central cross had a figure and also the one to the right. The left was empty.
From Sunday School he knew one thief had taunted Christ. The other guy had been Mr Nice.
But could he find out the name of the rebel... could he fuck? He asked the chaplain who said, ‘Concentrate on God and the Good Thief.’
Danny went back to the model and slapped the empty cross off it’s base, thinking ‘I’ll get you outa this prison for starters.’
Shortly after, he got early release and believed the cross changed his luck.
I’d said, ‘Not the full shilling, our Danny, is he?’
Reed was angry.
‘Man needs something to believe in... to hold on to...’
‘C’mon, a broken piece of plastic.’
‘Yo’ no be mockin’ bro’.’
357 Magnum or the Colt Python. Bloody cannons they are. Feel the weight of those suckers, you’d like two guys to hoist it. You stroll into yer nearest Nat West...
‘This is a hold up. Hang on a mo’ while I heft this bloody thing up to threaten you.’
Sure.
Guys like to throw the names of them about. When it comes to show time, you want some fire you can handle... unlike grief.
Crystal headed off to bingo shouting, ‘Tar-a... see ya later.’
Like that.
Danny produced the hardware:
Browning automatics,
Glocks,
Revolvers,
22s,
Sawn-offs
Reed asked, ‘No Uzi?’
Danny grunted, not amused and Reed added, ‘Dee homies likes de UZI.’
I said:
‘They jam.’
Both of them were impressed. Danny said ‘I didn’t know you knew hardware.’
‘I don’t. I winged it, it’s a macho line and see... you two went right along.’
‘You’re a real funny guy, Tone, hope you’ll be more than winging it when you go up against Leon.’
‘Yeah bro’, dat Leon love to see yo’ comin’ wit a sense o’ humour.’
I said:
‘Fuck’s sake, lighten up... all these weapons are making you ape shit.’
We divided up the preparations.
Danny to get the van, CS gas and balaclavas.