‘I didn’t mean – it just came out.’
‘Well, don’t go telling her that,’ said Pat sharply. ‘Bad enough, without backtracking.’
Strike emitted a low groan and put his head in his hands. If he’d been looking at her, Strike might have seen a slight softening of Pat’s simian face.
‘You can’t expect her to say it back tonight, can you?’
‘Why not?’
‘For a clever man, you can’t half be thick,’ said Pat, exasperated. ‘What’s she supposed to do, when her boyfriend’s waiting for her round the corner with a ring in his pocket? Anyway, you’ve messed her around, haven’t you?’
‘How’ve I—?’
‘You waited till another man wants to marry her before saying anything. ’Course she thinks you’re saying it to stop her going off.’
‘I didn’t plan it this way.’
‘Need a new plan, then, don’t you?’ said Pat bracingly. ‘I’ve got to go. I’ve got people coming over for bridge.’
She turned and departed, closing the door behind her. Strike was left looking at the glass panel, on which was etched Strike and Ellacott Detective Agency.
This wasn’t like waking up in hospital minus half his leg, nor was it like finding out that Charlotte had killed herself. This time, he was no mere victim of fate: he himself had voluntarily brought about the seismic and possibly catastrophic change. Staring at the door, it occurred to him that while he’d always considered himself master of his own destiny, he’d really been good at rolling with punches he’d been forced to take. Three times, in his entire life, he’d made a conscious, unforced, life-changing decision he could blame on nobody and nothing else.
The first time, he’d crossed a crowded room as a student at Oxford, drunk and expecting a rebuff, to talk to the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. The second, he’d started this detective agency, braving humiliation and financial ruin to do it. Tonight was the third. He’d finally, and perhaps too late, found something he wanted more than solitude and safety, and he supposed all he could do now was wait to find out whether Robin Ellacott decided whether she wanted it, too.
The phone on the desk in front of him began to ring. Strike let the answering service get it. As he dragged his vape pen from his pocket, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. The black fish called Cormoran was again flailing helplessly at the top of the tank.
‘Stupid arsehole,’ he snarled. ‘You’ve done it to your fucking self.’
The phone stopped ringing. Strike sat in the silence for another minute, vaping, then pushed himself into a standing position, ear and knee both throbbing. In the absence of anything else he could do to improve his present situation, he set off for the attic to fetch the empty margarine tub, and some peas.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Huge thanks, as always, to my peerless editor David Shelley. I could imagine nobody better to work on the Strike books with me.
Nithya Rae has once again done a fabulous copyediting job, for which I’m immensely grateful.
More gratitude than can be expressed on the page to Séan and Nadine Harris, who opened certain doors, gave me lunch at the Swan Taphouse and provided food, comfort and hospitality on a level most people have to visit five-star hotels to experience.
As always, endless thanks to my agent, Neil Blair, for his tireless work on my behalf; to the irreplaceable Nicky Stonehill, Rebecca Salt and Mark Hutchinson, who’re the people who keep me clinging to sanity, and to Di Brooks, Simon Brown, Danny Cameron, Angela Milne, Ross Milne, Fiona Shapcott and Kaisa Tiensuu, whose hard work and efficiency keep my real life running smoothly when I’m lost in fictional worlds.
Lastly, to Neil, Dec, David and Kenzie: without you, nothing would matter at all.
CREDITS
‘Silver Bells’ (here) from the Paramount Picture THE LEMON DROP KID. Words and Music by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans. Copyright © 1950 Sony Music Publishing (US) LLC. Copyright Renewed. All Rights Administered by Sony Music Publishing (US) LLC, 424 Church Street, Suite 1200, Nashville, TN 37219. International Copyright Secured All Rights Reserved. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Europe Ltd.
‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ (here) from MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS. Words and Music by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane. Copyright © 1944 EMI Feist Catalog Incorporated, USA. All Rights Administered by EMI United Partnership Limited. International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Europe Ltd.
‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ (here) Words and Music by Ralph Blane & Hugh Martin © 1943, Reproduced by permission of EMI Feist Catalog Inc./Sony Music Publishing Ltd, London N1C 4DJ.
‘Not Tonight Santa’ (here) Words and Music by Brian Higgins, Shawn Mahan, Nicholas Coler, Lisa Cowling & Miranda Cooper. © 2005 published by Hipgnosis Songs Fund Limited, administered by Peermusic (UK) Ltd.
‘Not Tonight Santa’ (here) Words and Music by Holly Bush, Beth Lehem, Henry Mistletoe, Festiv Gifts and S Claws. Xenomania Songs Ltd (NS), Warner Chappell Music Ltd (PRS) and Honky Tonk Limited (NS). All rights on behalf of Xenomania Songs Ltd administered by Warner Chappell Music Publishing Ltd. All rights on behalf of itself and Honky Tonk Limited administered by Warner Chappell Music Ltd.
‘Itchycoo Park’ (here) Words and Music by Steve Marriott and Ronnie Lane. Copyright © 1988 EMI United Partnership Ltd. International Copyright Secured All Rights Reserved. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Europe Ltd.
‘Itchycoo Park’ (here) Words and Music by Ronnie Lane & Steve Marriott © 1967. Reproduced by permission of EMI United Partnership Ltd/Sony Music Publishing Ltd, N1C 4DJ.
‘Tous Les Garçons Et Les Filles’ (here) Words and Music by FranÇoise Hardy and Roger Samyn. Copyright © 1962 EDITIONS MUSICALES ALPHA. All rights administered by UNIVERSAL MUSIC PUBLISHING LTD. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Europe Ltd.
‘Shakin’ All Over’ (here) Words and Music by Johnny Kidd. © 1960. Reproduced by permission of EMI Mills Music Ltd/Sony Music Publishing Ltd, N1C 4DJ.
‘Romeo Is Bleeding’ (here) Words and Music by Tom Waits. Copyright © 1978 Jalma Music. All rights for the world excluding the United States administered by BMG Rights Management (US) LLC. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Europe Ltd.
‘Romeo Is Bleeding’ (here) by Tom Waits. © 1978, Jalma Music (ASCAP). Used By Permission. All Rights Reserved.
‘Whistlin’ Past The Graveyard’ (here) Words and Music by Tom Waits. Copyright © 1978 Jalma Music. All rights for the world excluding the United States administered by BMG Rights Management (US) LLC. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Europe Ltd.
‘Whistlin’ Past The Graveyard’ (here) by Tom Waits. © 1978, Jalma Music (ASCAP). Used By Permission. All Rights Reserved.
‘Nobody’ (here) Words and Music by Tom Waits. Copyright © 1974 Jalma Music. Copyright Renewed. All rights for the world excluding the United States administered by BMG Rights Management (US) LLC. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Europe Ltd.
‘Nobody’ (here) by Tom Waits. © 1975, Jalma Music (ASCAP). Used By Permission. All Rights Reserved.
Extract from ‘Two Campers in Cloud Country’ (here) taken from Collected Poems of Sylvia Plath © Estate of Sylvia Plath and reprinted by permission of Faber and Faber Ltd.