His eyebrows furrowed. I wanted to pull his lips back to mine, anything to erase that look of pain on his face.
"I don't know what I want right now." I continued to gather myself.
"So just friends for now, then?" he asked.
I nodded. "For now. It may not be the answer you want to hear, but it's the best answer I can give."
"So you need more time and I need to be more patient?" he asked. The pain he wore vanished and a tiny smile appeared on his lips, causing the ache in my heart to ease a little. "Or maybe I should be more persistent?"
My heart squeezed at his words. Did I want him to be more persistent? Or did I want him to honor my request and give me some space to figure out what I really wanted? My mind seemed to be torn on that decision as well.
His smile grew and he leaned in and kissed my forehead briefly. "Goodnight, Emily."
Then he turned to walk away from me.
JAKE
I SAT alone in the living room of the dark penthouse. I’d pulled all the curtains closed, not wanting to see the bright lights of the city tonight. Not wanting to see anything for that matter. All I wanted was to sit here and drink until I passed out. It was the only way I’d been able to sleep the past few weeks.
After taking another long sip of bourbon, I set the glass down on the end table next to me and closed my eyes. Even though I didn’t want to think of her, she was all I saw. My heart ached as I thought about how long it had been since I’d seen her face. Since I’d smelled her sweet scent. Since I’d felt the control and peace I had when she was around.
Ever since Emily’s been gone, my whole world has been turned upside down. I wasn’t the person I was before. I couldn’t think, sleep or eat. I hadn’t been myself or been able to do my job. I looked like a complete fool in front of my men. They came to me, wanting answers or for me to give them some sort of direction, but I didn’t have anything to say to them. She occupied all my thoughts. I was completely lost without her.
When I first found out she was missing, I was furious. I was furious at myself for letting her out of my sight. I was furious at Mike for letting her get away. I was furious at her for wanting to leave me. Now, after I had time to think about it, I knew the mistakes I made with her. I knew I told her that I would change, that I would get better. I knew I lied.
The only thing that kept me sane was the thought of seeing her again, knowing that I would see her again. I wasn’t sure how long it would take or what I would have to do, but the day would come when I saw her face again.
Still, after all the pain and worry, and as much as I wanted her back, I was still not sure I could forgive her completely. I wasn’t sure I could bring her back to Vegas and not punish her for what she did. She needed to know the pain she put me through. She needed to know about the embarrassment she caused me with my men. The late nights. The wondering where she was. The worry. The heartache. She needed to know that she couldn’t do this to me again. And after I showed her and made her see, I would promise to never to hurt her ever again, and I would keep that promise... or I would try my hardest to keep it.
A knock on my office door caused my thoughts to dissolve. I opened my eyes as the door opened. The light from the hallway spilled into the dark living room. Without even turning to look, I knew who it was. He’d been avoiding me the past few weeks, but I’d asked Rico to tell him to come see me.
As much as I didn’t want to believe it, I thought Mike knew more than what he was telling me. Much more. For the past few weeks, I had most of my men looking for Emily, but there was only one I really trusted in finding her. The same man who was supposed to be watching her that night... the same one who let her get away. Mike had skills. He had training. That’s why he was the most trusted man on my security team. That’s why I trusted him with my life. He knew this building well. He could get in and out of it without anyone seeing him... and get someone else out of it as well. Everything just pointed to him. It made too much sense. He had to have been the one who helped her get away. I know over the past couple years that he and Emily had grown close. Maybe he chose her over me.
“Rico said you wanted to see me.” Mike’s voice was flat, distant.
“Do you have any news for me?” I asked, not turning to meet his eyes. It was still too hard to look at him without wanting to kill him. Even though I had my own ideas on what happened that night, I still didn’t want to believe it was true. I didn’t want to believe my oldest friend, my most trusted confidant, would betray me like that.
“No, there haven’t been any new developments. The private detective I hired hasn’t found anything yet. So far, we’ve come up with a lot of dead ends.”
I nodded, but still didn’t turn in his direction. The feeling in my gut, the feeling that I knew he was somehow involved with Emily’s disappearance, was still with me, but now, it was even stronger. My suspicion seemed to grow every time I saw him. Gritting my teeth, I kept my thoughts to myself. Before I did anything to him, I wanted to know for sure.
“Is there anything else you need from me before I head out?” he asked and I finally turned to look at him. He stood in the doorway and I could barely see his face through the darkness, but I could see right through his distant demeanor. Our relationship had been strained for the past year or so, but it had only gotten worse over the last few weeks, or since Emily’s been gone.
“No, I don’t think so.”
Without another word, the door closed and the room became completely dark again.
11
EMILY
I FELT restless and got little to no sleep for the rest of the weekend. Every time I closed my eyes, I pictured Reed. I pictured kissing him. I pictured him kissing me. I pictured him moving against me. I pictured his hands on me, my hands on him. The only way to make images stop would be to open my eyes, so I ended up watching a lot of TV, doing lots of laundry and cleaning—anything to get my mind off him.
When Monday morning came, I was excited to get to work. I knew with the event only a couple weeks away now, things were going to be really busy. I was excited about that, knowing it would help keep my mind off Reed.
Christine was already sitting at her desk when I got back to our office. She looked like crap, and that was putting it nicely. She had on no makeup, her hair was in a messy bun held up by two pens, and she was wearing black leggings and an oversized sweater. This was very non-Christine. Usually, her hair was curled, her makeup was perfect, and she dressed like she just stepped out a magazine.
"Hey, are you feeling okay?" I asked her as I pulled off my coat and slung it across my chair.
"Yeah." She turned to smile at me. "I'm great actually. I feel so much better about this event. I spent all weekend up here, going over everything and making sure we had everything covered, and for the things we still need to do. I made a list." She handed me a piece of paper—make that papers.
"You worked all weekend?" I glanced from the list to her face.
"Yep. I mean, I went home to eat, sleep, and shower, but for the most part, I was up here. I don't mind. I love this stuff and I want it to be perfect."
As I stood there looking at the girl in front of me, realizing she had sacrificed her entire weekend, it made me wonder how I ever hated her. Then I remembered—she was a total bitch to me for no reason. For the past couple of weeks, though, she had been great and more than anything, she was working her ass off to make this event great. That reason alone was enough for me to forgive all the crap she had done to me.
"So what should I start with?" I asked.
"You take page one and two. I'll start on the rest. They're really just small things, probably things we've already done, but I just want to make sure."