"Well, I'm glad you didn't." He smiled.
We were quiet for the next few minutes. The longer I was wrapped up in his arms, the harder it was to deny how amazing it felt to be with him again. I knew now that no matter how much I had tried to tell myself this wasn't what I wanted, it was just a lie. I wanted to be with him. I just wasn't sure if I should.
"Should I just come out and say it?" he leaned down and whispered, coming within an inch from my face. Our lips were practically touching.
I tried to keep my breathing at a normal level. "Say what?" My voice sounded husky, unfamiliar, even to me.
"Tell you that I want you. That I want to be with you. That it's been miserable these past few weeks without you." He paused, his eyes boring into mine. "Have you even been thinking of us? What you want? If you want to be with me? Or do you still need more time? I'll wait if you do. All you have to do is say the words." His grip around my waist tightened, pulling me closer to him.
As hard as I tried, I couldn't keep myself calm. My breath came out shaky as I tried to find the words. What was I supposed to say? How would I tell him that I wanted to be with him but couldn't? Could I tell him that I'd been missing him over the past few weeks, too? That all I'd ever wanted was to love someone and be loved? Deep down, I knew this was what I wanted. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to allow my heart to love someone again, to open up and trust him.
However, there was another part of me that knew the dangers of falling in love again and it wasn't just getting my heart broken. I felt like I could handle that sort of pain. I was more concerned with the thought of Reed getting hurt if Jake ever found me. What if I had to leave New York? What if I had to change my name again and start over? Would I be strong enough to leave him behind if it came down to it?
"Can we go somewhere to talk?" he asked, pulling me away from my thoughts.
"Right now?" I asked, noticing that we’d stopped dancing. We were standing in the middle of the dance floor, staring at one another while other couples danced around us.
"I think we can step out for a few minutes." He glanced from my eyes down to my lips. "No one will miss us."
Glancing around, I saw that everyone around us was busy in their own world.
I nodded and then he took me by the hand, leading me off the dance floor and down a hall that finally emptied onto a patio.
"Wow, it's beautiful out here," I exclaimed, leaning against a pillar and glancing up at the lights that were hanging from the trees; they casted a bright glow on the garden below. I could still hear the jazz band from inside.
Wrapping my arms across my chest, I rubbed my bare arms. It was beautiful out here, but cold. Before I even had a chance to turn around and face him, Reed was wrapping his jacket around my shoulder.
"Thank you." I turned my head and smiled up at him. The smile dropped from my face almost immediately. His face held nothing even resembling a smile. Actually, the seriousness of his face caused my heart to pound and my stomach to squeeze.
"I have to ask you a few questions. Some things I just have to know."
My heart hammered even harder. Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the pillar and wrapped his jacket around me tighter. I was afraid of what was about to come out of his mouth. He took a couple steps closer to me. Instead of turning away from him, I turned into him, feeling his arms wrap around my waist.
"What happened to you?" he asked, and I cringed at his words. "What happened that made you so afraid and closed off? That made you feel like you couldn't trust someone or not allow yourself to be loved by someone?"
My face was buried in his chest and I was thankful for that. The tears that stung my eyes were just moments from spilling over.
"I can't talk about it." I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it."
"I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I'll try my best to understand." His voice was soft and sweet. "I'm a patient man, but I don't want to wait around for you if you don't want to be with me." He paused for a moment and I held my breath, wondering what I was going to say in response. "Will you answer me something?" he asked before I had a chance to respond.
I closed my eyes, knowing that if I saw his eyes, I would never be able to tell him I didn't want him. "Yes." I swallowed.
"Do you want to be with me?"
"Yes." The word leaked out as if I had no control. I couldn't deny what I really wanted, regardless if I was looking him in the eyes or not.
He lifted my chin until my eyes met his. "Do you trust me?"
I nodded, feeling the tears building from my chest.
A smile slowly appeared on his lips. "Then I'm not going anywhere," he said, bending down and placing his lips on mine for a soft, quick kiss. "That's all I wanted to know. Everything else can wait."
His lips hovered over mine until I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me, causing his lips to connect with mine. His body pushed against mine and I was pressed harder into the pillar. He pulled back to look at me, his hand brushing my cheek. The heat of his skin against mine seemed to radiate through me, causing my whole body to tingle.
I pulled him back down to me as he brought his arms more securely around my waist, pulling me toward him. My chest pressed firmly against his. I made a noise at the sensation when his lips parted and his tongue touched mine. That sound caused him to clutch me even tighter to him, coaxing even more sounds to come out of me.
My mind was focused on the ways his lips were moving against mine and the firm grip he had on me, but somewhere in my blissful and totally lost-in-him mind, I knew we were moving. After only a few steps, we stopped and I heard the click of a door opening. I kept my eyes shut. Not wanting or caring where we were going.
We began to move again. He was slowly pushing me forward. After a few more steps, we came to another stop. This time, I opened my eyes and saw that Reed was reaching behind me, trying to open another door, but it was locked. When his eyes opened, they connected with mine. Our breaths were both coming out fast and ragged. I glanced over his shoulder and saw another closed door. Pulling him with me, I walked across the hall to try the other door. This time, it opened.
I walked into the room, pulling him with me. I could now see it was an empty office with a couple bookshelves and a nice, large desk. A window on the far right wall looked out over the garden we’d just been standing near. There was a low glow in the room from the lights that hung in the trees above the garden.
When I glanced back at Reed, I saw him staring at me. Passion and desire filled his eyes. He ran his hands down my ribs to my hips and then effortlessly picked me up, gripping my upper thighs. He walked me over to the desk, sat me down, and slid me to the edge of it before standing between my open legs.
He removed his jacket from around my shoulders and laid it flat on the desk behind me. Without even thinking of the consequences or caring if someone walked in on us, I pulled his shirt from his pants. I moved back up the top, starting to remove the bow tie, and then worked my way down each button.
I didn’t know what I was doing exactly; my mind seemed to shut off at the moment. All logic and doubt vanished. There was only one thing I wanted right now. I would have to deal with the consequences of my decision later.
When his shirt was finally open, I ran my hands along the length of his chest before moving to undo his pants. The entire time I had been undressing him, Reed hadn't spoken a word… until now that was.
His hands wrapped around mine. "Emily, maybe we shouldn't do this. The last time we did this, it didn't end well. Maybe we should wait."
I didn't want to wait. I couldn't wait another second. I wanted him. I needed him.
He glanced down at me. I saw the desire he still had in his eyes. I knew he wanted me, too. He was just the stronger one between us to question what we were doing. Even though his hands still rested on mine, I continued to try to get into his pants. The struggle in his eyes was clear, but then, almost in an instant, the struggle left his eyes and a passion-filled hunger replaced it.