“I didn’t really notice, but then I’ve never met an orc before,” said Nagh, who was third generation in the Abyss.
“Exactly, Dider. The band seemed a little pacifistic to — ” CRUNCH! THUD! Tegh never finished his sentence, as he was interrupted by Vespa’s fist smashing into his face with a loud sound of bone crunching, followed by a large thud when he hit the back wall of the tack room twenty feet away. The D’Orc slid down the wall.
Tegh reached his hand up to his nose to pinch off the bleeding. “Sorry, Vespa,” he mumbled.
“Apology accepted.” Vespa said sternly as she strode over to the downed D’Orc. “It’s just that we are talking about my tribe, and well, you know us women. We can only put up with so much damn vulgarity before we get pissed and have to act. And, you gotta know, if you’re going to be tossing the P-word around when talking about my tribe, I’m gonna have to put my fist in your face.”
Tegh nodded, holding his nose with one hand and reaching up to take Vespa’s outstretched arm to assist him in getting back up. “I do. It was thoughtless and stupid of me. It has been so long; I think I’ve forgotten most of my manners.” He shook his head slowly, trying to determine if his neck was broken. “Sorry.”
“I understand. And to be fair, they did not seem completely battle-ready to me either,” Vespa admitted.
Dider snorted. “Well, on the bright side, as far as I could determine they had no lawyers or diplomats!”
The D’Orcs all burst out laughing at such a preposterous idea.
“Aye,” Nagh said. “Things could always be worse!”
“If I found one of those in an orc tribe, I — well, I don’t know what I’d do. Pretty sure it would demand war,” Tegh said awkwardly through his broken nose.
“Remember the first rule of conquest: kill the diplomats first and the lawyers second, before you do anything else!” Dider declared.
Arg-nargoloth walked into the room at this point and snorted with amusement. “Truer words were never spoken of conquest!” The others all laughed at this. “But let me advise you from experience: do not be too hasty on the sequence of events. One lawyer’s skull between your claws is worth two diplomats in a carriage any day!”
They all grinned at that.
Nagh, being the youngest, asked, “Really? I was taught that diplomats were worse.”
Arg-nargoloth shrugged. “They are. Diplomats are full of lies and deceit and they seek peace” — he spat on the ground — “above rightful conquest! But, when given the opportunity for a guaranteed lawyer skull crushing over a theoretical gutting of diplomats, take the guaranteed option. If you pass up the lawyer for the diplomats, all three may get away.”
Tegh spoke up at this point. “How do you gut something that has no guts?” he asked with a grin on his face as they all began laughing.
“An excellent question,” Vespa observed as the laughter died down. “However, to Arg-nargoloth’s point: do not let the ideal become the enemy of the good!”
“Exactly!” Arg-nargoloth nodded in agreement.
Chapter 106
“Fer-Rog and Rupert are in danger of having too much fun,” Zelda observed as they gateway closed behind the two boys.
Tom chuckled. The Olafa orcs of Ithgar were going to repeat the Murgatroy exercise, as were the Rockguts of Romdan. In the case of Ithgar, the band they had joined up with was only an hour’s flight from a trading city, so they wouldn’t necessarily need to do the two-gateway trick. Once they had acquired whatever they could trade for, they would bring everything through to the Abyss, and then the orcs would fly back to camp and open a new gateway to get their share of the goods and return the D’Wargs.
In the case of the Olafa Horde, they had about a day’s flight as well, so Fer-Rog and Rupert had gone to join the after-hunt festivities on Ithgar, where they would spend the night again and help open the gate in the afternoon. The interesting thing was that Rupert wanted to try open a gate himself from Ithgar back to Mount Doom. If he could do that, it would be incredibly helpful. They needed more people capable of opening gates.
Tom had thought about trying to figure out a way to create more permanent gateways, but then realized that since all of the orc tribes he had met so far were nomadic, that would not be practical. For now, at least, they would need to be used ad hoc at different locations.
“So,” Tom said, “we want to see about contacting some more shamans, as we discussed. Can you round up some appropriate clan representation for the different worlds we think we might be able to contact? I think it’s useful to have someone of the same bloodline available.”
Zelda nodded. “Agreed. The temple, about thirty to forty deminutes?”
“Sounds good.” Tom nodded and smiled. Zelda took off to gather people and Tom headed back to his quarters.
Tom entered his quarters just as Antefalken and Estrebrius materialized in his living room. “I’m starting to think this is the main entrance to Mount Doom!” Tom joked.
Antefalken laughed. “It’s because we all spend so much time here, we just return to wherever we were last summoned from when we do it the old-school way. Not all of us can run around ripping holes in reality wherever we please.” Everyone laughed at that.
“We will want to work on that. We need better egress in and out of here. Rupert’s going to try opening a gateway from Ithgar to Mount Doom tomorrow.”
“That would be useful.” Estrebrius nodded in agreement.
“How is progress coming on the environmental devices?” Tom asked.
“I think well. Vaselle is quite good at arcane device construction, and while Damien is no slouch on that front, his access to Council resources and the library are quite valuable,” Antefalken said.
“And the gems from Mount Doom are also very useful!” Estrebrius added, grinning.
“Good. Any idea on how soon they can be ready?” Tom asked as Boggy walked into the room from the hallway.
“Well, how many do you need?” Antefalken asked. “You indicated that you might have some people coming in addition to Vaselle and Damien. Are you planning to invite Lenamare?”
Tom stared at Antefalken in shock until he realized the bard was joking; he then broke out laughing. “Okay, I’m going to have the thought of him here in Mount Doom at a banquet with D’Orcs for a very long time.”
Antefalken grinned.
“Actually, I think it is a great idea. He can be the main course!” Boggy was nodding his head up and down. “That’s what I advocate!”
Tom gave Boggy a snarky grimace. “I hardly think that Damien is going to feel at ease watching one of his fellow Councilors of Wizardry being eaten.”
“He can be dessert!” Boggy said.
“No,” Tom said firmly. “To be clear, no one is going to eat, or even talk about eating my guests, particularly in front of them.”
“Egh. You’re not a bit of fun!” Boggy sulked.
Tom stuck his tongue out at Boggy. “Now, back to the question. Yes, Damien, Vaselle, Tal Gor, Beya Fei Geist, Farsooth GoreTusk and Ragala-nargoloth.”
Boggy nodded. “I’m sure Arg-nargoloth will be thrilled to see her here.”
Tom looked at him, puzzled. “Why, did they not get along?”
Boggy grinned wickedly. “According to Arg-nargoloth, they got along very well; many times, in fact.” He chuckled and said, “I’m willing to bet that if she is at the celebration, they’ll get along several more times.”
Hilda sighed as she waited for the others to arrive in their usual conference room. It was quite odd to have a late-night meeting. She had spent the day — well, technically a good part of the last two days — working with Trisfelt on his new rapid brew process for beer. It turned out that her ability to see and work at the cellular level was of great benefit to Trisfelt in understanding the exact details of the fermentation process. Not only could she help him more accurately measure the effects of different ingredients, she could detect when his magical efforts were causing more problems with the fermentation than they were helping.