(Algernon who? you ask. Well, such is literary fame.)
CAN any LADY RECOMMEND for the end of September, London and country, a really first-class PLAIN COOK? Abstainer, active, and early riser. Age 29 to 35 (not over). Four in family, eight servants. Quiet, very neat appearance. Also at same time a good, strong, clean kitchenmaid, good at vegetables. Age 18-20.
(I could sympathize, having long yearned for a staff of really first-class servants in Castle Dracula. But one cannot have everything.)
SPORTING INTELLIGENCE… (I looked under this heading, but found nothing on rat-killing.)
… a minister from Stuttgart, Herr Traub, spoke in the name of the Evangelical workmen's syndicates of Wurtemburg and supported the legal eight hours' day. He denied the assertion that workmen would spend the extra spare time in beer drinking.
… the foreman of a contractor for the Post Office was fined 5 pounds for working horses in an unfit state…
(From an address by Dr. William Osier)… when one considers the remarkable opportunities for study which India has presented… such a field for observation in cholera, leprosy, dysentery, the plague, typhoid fever, malaria… the work of Dr. Hankin and of Professor Haffkine, and the not unmixed evil of the brisk epidemic of plague in Bombay, may rouse the officials to a consciousness of their shortcomings…
(I had not seen a "brisk" epidemic of plague for more than two centuries, and had no wish to see another, though I myself am almost certainly immune.)
TELEGRAPHING WITHOUT WIRES—A large quantity of instruments, weighing in all about two tons, have arrived at Dover in connexion with some experiments in telegraphing without wires which are to be made there.
EGYPTIAN-HALL
England's home of mystery
Startling mysteries by Mr. David Devant
(I thought to myself that if I had time for amusement, I should prefer something more soothing.)
ANGLING—This week the general angling season will open…
TURKEY AND GREECE—The Armistice
The question of the establishment of a pneumatic post in London has been more than once under consideration…
THE FAMINE IN INDIA
Starving subjects of Her Majesty's Indian Empire…
THE DIAMOND JUBILEE. The state carriage in which the Queen will drive out June 22 will be the same as was used at the Jubilee in 1887…
THE PLATTNER STORY, by H.G. Wells. A book just published…
(And my attention jumped back to the preceding item. June 22? That was the date mentioned by Fitzroy in my hearing as some kind of deadline. A coincidence? I pondered, but got nowhere.)
PLAN showing the berths of the MEN-OF-WAR and the track for yachts at the Jubilee naval review on June 26…
MAP showing the route of the royal procession on June 22…
(The twenty-second of June draws near, said Fitzroy's cultured voice, played back in memory. But what could the connection be?)
A GENTLEMAN is willing to LET his TWO WINDOWS for DIAMOND JUBILEE. Accommodation for about 14; use of third room for lunch. Every convenience. Double view of procession, as it passes windows and circles over London bridge. Apply C. Meredith, 78 King William street, City.
(A column was filled with similar advertisements.)
THE KLONDIKE GOLD REEFS EXPLORATION COMPANY, LIMITED APPLICATION FOR SHARES…
COCKLE'S PILLS…
THE ADVANCE ON THE NILE…
NESTLE'S MILK…
National Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Children…
CHEAP RETURN TICKETS TO THE EAST—India, Ceylon, China, Australia, Tasmania—
AT WORSHIP-STREET, POLICE-CONSTABLE FRANKLIN, 4436, appeared to answer a summons charging him with violently assaulting Mary Smith and causing her actual bodily harm. The complainant, a tall, powerfully-built Irishwoman, said that… she was in Mansfield-street, Kingsland-road, going home, and met the policeman, who "shoved" against her, asked her what luck she had had that night, and made overtures to her. When she rejected them…he kicked her…hit her in the left eye and, burst the ball…
HUMPHREYS' PORTABLE IRON CHURCHES, Chapels, Mission, Club, Reading and School Rooms, Cottages…
BABY HAGAR, 29, a respectably-dressed young woman, said to be an actress, was charged with attempted suicide. Evidence was given by Inspector Chandler of the Thames Police, that on Saturday evening he saw accused struggling in the Thames near Waterloo-bridge. On getting her out of the water she told him, "I have had but one glass of port wine, and I jumped from the bridge because I was tired of life." Mr. Hall, the Court missionary, informed the magistrate that prisoner told him she had been unfortunate in her employment and had got very low down and despondent. On his advice she promised to apply to the Ladies' Theatrical Guild…
St. Marylebone FEMALE PROTECTION SOCIETY, 157-9, Marylebone-road, NW. This Society seeks to rescue young women who up to the time of their fall have borne a good character. Those with infants are assisted from a special fund. CONTRIBUTIONS are earnestly solicited.
(I could envision a dedicated corps, perhaps neatly uniformed, standing guard with boats and ropes and life-preservers, below all the bridges of the Thames. But neither I nor Baby Hagar had seen them there, and I understood that my vision must fall short of the truth somehow.)
ELLDVIAN'S UNIVERSAL EMBROCATION "THE ONLY GENUINE RUB ON THE MARKET"
National Society for Checking the Abuses of Public Advertising…
DU BARRY'S REVALENTA ARABICA FOOD
"It has cured me of 9 years' constipation, declared beyond cure by the best physicians, and given me new life, health, and happiness.—A. Spadaro, Merchant, Alexandria, Egypt."
THE SEXAGENARY OF PHONOGRAPHY…
(This proved to be not as interesting an article as my first glance at the headline led me to hope.)
THE COAL MINERS' STRIKE IN AMERICA
PEARS' SOAP…
WAGES IN THE COTTON INDUSTRY—The replies from cotton manufacturers in Blackburn, Burnley, and Preston as to a proposed reduction in weavers' wages of 10 per cent., &c., were returnable yesterday, but the committee will not consider them finally or seriously until next Friday…
HUNYADI JANOS the BEST and SAFEST NATURAL APERIENT… free from defects incidental to many other Hungarian Bitter Waters…
(That friend and ally of my breathing days, Janos Hunyadi, voivode of Transylvania and later ruler of all Hungary, would have found these waters bitter to his taste indeed.)
COMPETITION for WORD to ADVERTISE a GINGER ALE— "G.S.C." begs to notify competitors that it has not been possible to settle this matter yet, and requests any who may have an opportunity of disposing of their word in another direction to do so. The result will be advertised as soon as a decision is come to.
CHESS
THE INTERNATIONAL CONGRESSS IN BERLIN
The 4th round in the chess tournament was begun this morning. M. Tschigorin played against Mr. Blackburne, but, losing his queen through oversight, gave up after 25 moves…
MERRY WEATHER'S latest Domestic Novelty is their PATENT PORTABLE ELECTRIC FIRE ENGINE for Corridors of Mansions and Institutions having Electric Light, by the utilization of the Electric Current to actuate the fire pump.