David stared at the pale, stony face behind the desk. "Ahh, that's beautiful. You're giving me three months to shape up or ship out."
"I'm glad you said that David! I wouldn't have been quite so crude, and until this week, never suspected you had such a flair for vulgarity. However, your words are aptly put. Because I know my daughter has built her whole life around you, I am giving you this chance to… to…"
"… Sow my wild oats?"
"To realize exactly what's at stake here, David. You'll lose everything, you know. Your children, the house…"
"Brad Grogan went that same route. He 'lost everything' too, and now he's having the best time he ever had in his life, really livin' it up in that bachelor-pad of his… chicks swingin' in and out of there night and day, all shapes and sizes…"
"If Bradley Grogan has now become your criteria for adult deportment I'm afraid I have nothing more to say to you. But I must say you've certainly chosen the most unlikely candidate, if you needed someone to set you a good example. That man's a thorough scoundrel… a wastrel, a… a womanizer…"
"And what makes you so Goddamned holy and pontifical?" Suddenly David wanted to scratch the surface of all this smug infallibility. "Just because you've never been caught with your pants down?"
Montclair averted his eyes, his face reddening again.
Eyeing this reaction, David said: "Oh hell, I think I just answered my own question. You never got caught-right? That's why you can keep looking so pure and lily-white. Which means my only crime is letting you find out how naughty I've been. So now Papa's gotta take down Junior's pants and give him a good spanking!" David paused here, feeling awkward and foolish by the intimacy of his own language. Impulsively, he shot to his feet and seized the envelope which still lay on the desk. "And if Papa thinks I'm too proud to accept my mustering-out pay, he's out of his gold-plated skull, because it's your phony pride that's kept me tied to your bootstraps all these years. Family pride and moral pride and paternal pride…" He strode to the door, where he turned for some parting shots. "And as for the money in this envelope, I'm using it to buy me a one-way ticket straight down into the Underworld, so you can stick that up your truss, old man, and let it simmer there!"
Wilbur let out a holy, stentorian wail. "Ohh… May God watch over you, David! May He show you the righteous paths and lead you out of the darkness…!"
SIXTEEN
That day David pretended to do battle with Valerie, putting on a great flamboyant show of fury because of the irreparable damage she'd done him.
"You whoremongering little bitch, you cost me my job, do you know that?" He'd waited until he'd gotten her into bed, having quickly decided that nude punishment was by far the most effective.
"I fully accept your gratitude, David, but don't overdo it, it's embarrassing. After all, when Lincoln freed the slaves they didn't follow him all over the place tryin' to lick his ass to show their appreciation… Ouch! Stop biting down there… that's my place of business… you tryin' to close up my shop?"
Still trying to nurture his anger-but more excited by her with every lick-David slid up and lightly kissed her ever-ready mammaries… then graduated up her throat to her lips.
"All right, you win, Devil-Girl. I'm ready to do what you asked me… "His voice going husky and impassioned with this announcement.
"And what is that, pray?"
"Oh, don't sound so innocent, Val, you know what I mean."
"But I want you to say it, David! If you're ready to operate under your own power for the first time in your life, you've got to say the words…"
He laughed between soft kisses. "You make it sound like I'm being sworn in."
"Great, David, keep thinking like that, it sounds real earnest and sincere. And now, may I please hear your oath of office?"
"Well, I… I want to do what you said, want the kind of career you told me about, want my flesh to pay instead of decay."
"Marvelous, darling! But let's hear more. Commit yourself, Goddammit!"
"I want…" he swallowed. "Oh hell, I want to sell my cock and ass and mouth to the highest bidder."
"Wonderful… I'm hearing some real devotion in your voice at last. Now repeat after me: 'I will henceforth take it upon myself to please everyone, be it man, woman or child…' "
"Hold it! Back up a few words…"
"Now now, David, that's part of your swearing-in, dammit! You've got to cover all contingencies and say you're willing."
"All right, all right…" And he said it.
She rewarded him with herself for a damply pounding half hour, after which these two newlyweds in crime discussed more of their future footwork. "Oh David, I do hope you have an adventurous spirit, because you'll need it in this line of work. One of the prime requisites is that you must quickly learn to be attracted by what you used to consider revolting. For instance, you'll often find that the family that plays together will also want your services." She giggled reflectively here. "Only a few weeks ago I helped alleviate a charming couple in their mid-forties who brought their handsome twin sons along…"
David hoped she was kidding, but not wanting to sound gauche, he just said: "Wow, man…!"
"The father was desperate to have a strange, sexy woman watch while his teen-aged boys took turns penetrating his wife; I've never seen a man get so voyeuristically hot in my life! It was really a groove…"
David felt something new and abrasive churn inside of him, a feeling of raw nerves rubbing against each other, and he dimly realized he must be experiencing the first sexual arousal he'd ever known that had been inspired by revulsion. Ooh man, I'm gonna dip low… gonna scrape the bottoms and the dregs. And now the new thoughts and images pinwheeled through his mind: strangers wanting his body, to apply and usurp to their own ends, no matter how various or diverse. "Whew!.. Then I guess I'll have to be ready to fulfill every warped desire in the book."
"Right, doll, you have to be loose and unjudging and tolerant… and as long as they're buying, the keyword in your vocabulary must always be 'yes… yes!"
David began to think of his new life as an endless pleasure-cruise, wanting to hear more and more about it. "Tell me about the women-clients," he urged her. "They won't always be matronly messy old bags, will they?"
"Well, no, David, but you shouldn't be asking questions like that, because it proves that deep down you're already discriminating, which, in a way, is really like saying 'no' instead of 'yes'. And remember, if you're to become a commodity of public delight, you can't have any preferences, but must learn to give all to each…"
"Hmmm…" David mulled over these words of indoctrination, telling himself that, like any new job, it would take a bit of getting used to. "But honey, don't you think at first we should take advantage of what I already like… and… save whatever I have to cultivate a taste for until later? I mean, dammit… whatever I may learn to like in the future, I already know now that I like girls… because I've always majored in girls!"
"Oh David, David," she said with a sigh of disappointment. "After a bigoted little speech like that, I wonder if you're truly 'open' enough for this kind of career…"
"Oh I am, I am, Val!" David assured her, feeling the quick pangs of those who displease their superiors. "Tell me what to say and I'll say it! And I'll be as 'open' as a guy can get, honey… I promise you!"
She gazed at his eager blond-boy face, so touched by his earnest desire to make good that she crushed her lips against his full and trusting mouth for a long and expert kiss… thinking: oooh… how this mouth will blossom anew after I plunge it down its new descents and journeys. Then pulled away from him, her voice once more adopting its crisp tone of dominatrix-in-charge. "Now David, first of all you've got to remember one thing: A Good Whore Doesn't Specialize. Maybe you ought to type up that little slogan and keep it in your wallet, and refer to it before each engagement…"