"He has a shock waiting for him when he marries you."
"I am going to try to be a good wife to him."
What a fool he is! I thought. He wants to marry Lavinia without knowing her. Even the village idiot would know better than that; and Dougal is supposed to be clever! Well, he would discover, I thought, with a certain satisfaction—and Lavinia was not the sort to change just because she was married to the indulgent husband he would probably be.
Lavinia went on pleadingly, "We've been such good friends ... ever since we met."
"I remember the time well. You were not the most charming of hostesses. It is rather unwise of you to recall that occasion if you are trying to show the loving nature of our relationship."
"Stop being clever, Drusilla. You are too clever and always showing off. Men don't like it. I never do that."
"You are showing off, as you call it, all the time."
"Yes, but only in the right way. Drusilla, stop beating about the bush. Do say you'll help me. I know you will in the long run. You are just making me suffer."
"But what can I do?"
"I told you. Go and see Janine. Explain to her."
"Why don't you?"
"How could I go to London? You could ... easily. You can just say you have gone to see Polly."
I hesitated. I always felt better after a visit to Polly. She would understand how I felt about Dougal's engagement. I had no need to go into explanations with Polly. I could talk to her as I could to myself. I could see Fleur. The child was beginning to get a hold on me. She could pronounce her version of my name. Polly had written, "You should hear Eff go on at her. Who's got a nice Aunty Drusilla, eh? Whose Aunty Drusilla is coming to see her soon?' That's how she goes on." Yes, it would be wonderful to be with Polly, Eff and Fleur. Moreover, I had a raging curiosity to see Janine.
Lavinia could see that I was wavering.
"You love Fleur," she said. "She's a little darling."
"How do you know? You never see her."
"I'm going to ... when I get this sorted out. When I know Dougal better I'll tell him. I will, really. I know he'll say I can have her with me."
"That would be the last thing Fleur would want. Don't you understand that children are not pieces to be moved round a board as people want to for their convenience?"
"You're being the governess again."
"Somebody has to try to teach you a few facts of life."
"I know. I'm wicked. But I can't help it. I'm trying to be good. Once I'm married to Dougal I shall settle down. Oh please ... please, Drusilla."
"Where does she live?"
"I've written it down. I went there to take the fifty pounds. I'll tell you how to get there. It's not so very far from Polly's place."
I took the address. "Fiddler's Green, Number 20," said Lavinia. "It's easy to find."
"Did you take a cab?"
"Yes, I did. The driver looked surprised, but I made him wait for me to come back. I didn't want anyone to know where I was. It was awful . . '. and then ... her. She sneered at me. She kept calling me the Countess. Then she told me I had to find the money, for if I didn't come with it she was going to let the world know what I had done. She said I had deserted my child and a lot of other unpleasant things. I said I hadn't. I'd found a good home for the child. She said, 'Drusilla found that. You would probably have left her on someone's doorstep so that you could go on with your life.' I told her she was wrong. I did care about Fleur and when I was married I was going to take her. I know it will be all right once I am married."
"I shall not come to your wedding, Lavinia. It's such a mockery really. Have you thought how you are deceiving Dougal? You will be standing there in virginal white ..."
"Oh, shut up. Are you going to help me or not? Can't you see how miserable I am?"
"I can't do anything. / haven't any money."
"I'm not saying give her money. I just know if you talked to her she'd listen to reason."
"No, she wouldn't."
"She would. She has always admired you. I know you can persuade her. Please, Drusilla, go to London. You know how you like to see Polly and Fleur. Please, Drusilla."
And then I knew I had to go.
I considered what I should say. It gave me something to think about. The wedding plans were going ahead, as Lady Harriet did not see why there should be any delay. I might not be exactly in love with Dougal, but I did not want to hear about them.
I said to my father, "I think I will go and see Polly."
"I know." He smiled. "You want to go and see that child they have adopted. You are very fond of her, are you not?"
"Well, yes ... and I am very fond of Polly."
"A good woman," he said. "Somewhat forthright, but good at heart."
I went, and as usual Polly was delighted to see me. I did not tell her where I intended to go, for I felt she would try to dissuade me. She would think I should not involve myself further in Lavinia's affairs. I had done so once and that had brought them Fleur and she could not regret that; but, as she would have said, once is enough.
I took a cab to Fiddler's Green. The driver looked at me in surprise but did not comment. I asked him to wait for me—not outside the house, but a little distance away.
He looked at me as though he thought I was on some nefarious mission. I wondered whether Lavinia had had the same experience.
I found my way to No. 20 Fiddler's Green. It was a tall house showing signs of what must have been an attempt at grandeur; but now the stucco was broken away and what should have been white was a dirty grey. Four steps leading to the front door were broken away; two mangy-looking stone lions stood on guard. Lavinia had told me to knock three times, which meant that I wanted Janine, who was on the third floor.
I did so and waited. It seemed a long time before Janine appeared.
She stared at me for a few seconds in amazement. Then she cried, "Drusilla! Whatever made you come here?" She lifted her shoulders. "You'd better come in," she added.
I was in a dingy passage with a staircase facing me. The carpet on the stairs was showing signs of wear and was threadbare in places.
We went up three flights and the carpet grew shabbier as we rose. She threw open a door to disclose a fairly large room, sparsely furnished. She turned to me, grimacing. "Now you see how the poor and needy live."
"Oh, Janine," I said, "I'm so sorry."
"Just my luck. Everything went wrong for me."
"I've wanted to know what happened since I heard of the fire."
"Everything lost ... Aunt Emily dead ... and all those people with her. That stupid George. It was his fault, you know. I told her how dangerous he was and that we should all be burned in our beds one night."
"Yes, he was certainly dangerous."
"Dangerous! He destroyed everything for Aunt Emily ... and for me, too. I was going to marry Clarence ... Oh, I know he was simple, but he adored me. He would have given me anything ... anything I asked. And then he died ... killed by that stupid George."
"He didn't know what he was doing. Oh, Janine, what a blessing that you weren't there on that night."
"Sometimes I've almost wished I had been."
"Don't say that."
"I do say it. How would you like to live in a place like this?"
"Do you have to?"
"What do you mean ... do I have to? Do you think I would if I didn't have to?"
"Surely there is something you can do? People of education usually become governesses."
"Well, I don't intend to."
"What will you do then?"
"I'm planning. It made me mad when I saw all that fuss over Lavinia Framling. When you think of her ... and that child ... and there she is queening it over everyone. It's not fair."