"Is this home?" asked Louise.
"Yes," I said. "You will soon see your grandmother."
I had to restrain Alan, who was almost jumping out of the carriage.
Up the drive we went ... so many memories crowding in. Lavinia ... oh no. I could not bear to think of the last time I had seen her. Fabian ... I dared not think of him either. Perhaps I had had wild dreams. Now, face to face with that magnificent pile of bricks and soon to see Lady Harriet, I knew how absurd my dreams had been.
He would come back and everything would be as it always had been, except that I was the plain girl from the rectory who would have a good post as governess to Lady Harriet's grandchildren: a good, sensible girl who would remember her place. That was what Lady Harriet would want and expect; and Lady Harriet always had what she wanted.
The carriage had pulled up. One of the servants appeared. Jane? Dolly? Bet? I couldn't remember; but I knew her and she knew me.
"Oh, Miss Delany, Lady Harriet said you're to go to her with the children as soon as you come."
The children could hardly wait to get out of the carriage.
Into the hall ... the familiar hall with its high, vaulted roof and the weapons on the walls, weapons used by long-dead Framlings to protect the House against any who came against it. Up the staircase to the drawing room, where Lady Harriet would be sitting waiting.
"They're here, Lady Harriet."
She rose. She looked, as ever, stately and formidable. There was a faint colour in her cheeks and her eyes immediately alighted on the children.
I felt their grip on my hands tighten.
"This is your grandmother, children," I said.
They stared at her and she at them. I believed she was deeply touched by the sight of them and she would be thinking of Lavinia, of course. I was glad she did not know the nature of her dying. Fabian would never tell her; nor would I. So many people had died in the Mutiny. It was accepted that it might have been the fate of any one of us.
She looked at me. "Good day, Drusilla," she said. "Welcome home. Come along in. And this is Louise."
Louise nodded.
"I'm Alan," said the boy. "This is home, isn't it?"
Did I see the blink of the eyes, as though she feared she might betray her tears? I believed that was so. I heard the faint catch in her voice when she said, "Yes, my dear child, you have come home." Then she was immediately the familiar Lady Harriet. "How are you, Drusilla? You look well. Sir Fabian has written to me about you. I know you have been very sensible. You were always a sensible girl. Your room is next to the children's. Temporarily perhaps ... but just at first ... they would no doubt like that best. Sometime you must tell me of your adventures. Now, Louise, come here, my dear."
Louise released my hand reluctantly.
"My dear child," said Lady Harriet. "How tall you are! All the Framlings are tall. This will be your home now. I am your grandmama. I shall look after you now."
Louise turned to look up at me anxiously.
"Miss Delany ... Drusilla ... will be here, too. We shall all be here together. And then you shall have a nanny ... an English one ... like Miss Philwright." A faint look of criticism came into her eyes. How dared Nanny Philwright be so forgetful of her duties as to marry and leave the Framling children! She was still the old Lady Harriet. There was no change. I had thought there might be, as I had seen a little emotion. But of course that was merely for the Framling family. It did not extend to outsiders.
Both children watched her with a kind of wonder. I think the sight of them moved her deeply. Perhaps she feared she would show how much, and that made her brisk.
"I daresay the children would like something to eat," she said. "What about some broth ... some milk, bread and butter? What do you think, Drusilla?"
I felt it was an indication of her emotion that she should ask my opinion.
"They will be having their luncheon soon," she said.
"Then I think a little milk and perhaps a slice of bread and butter would be best." I turned to the children. "Would you like that?" I asked.
Louise said, "Yes, please," and Alan nodded gravely.
"Good," said Lady Harriet. "It will be sent to your rooms. I shall show them to you myself. I have had the old nursery made ready. And, later, Drusilla, I will have a talk with you. You are in the room next to the night nursery for the time being. Later we shall have a nanny ... but perhaps just at first ..."
I said I thought that was an excellent arrangement.
We went up the stairs to the old nursery and on the way up Lady Harriet despatched one of the servants for the refreshments.
The rooms were light and airy. I remembered seeing them in the old days when I had come to play with Lavinia. Then I was seeing her again, just as I had that last time, and a terrible sense of doom descended on me. Here in these rooms Fabian had held autocratic sway over, so it was said, even his mother. He had been the pampered one whose slightest whim was to be indulged, even when it meant taking a child from her family.
There would be so many memories here, and in that moment I felt that I wanted to go right away, for I could never be anything but an outsider in this house ... the rector's daughter, not quite good enough to mingle with Framling society except when she could be of some use to it.
"I will leave you to settle in," said Lady Harriet.
I had the feeling that she wanted to get away, that she could not bear to be in this room where her dead daughter had lived and played as a child, as these grandchildren of hers would now do. Could she really be overcome by emotion? I was sure it was something she would never admit.
At last she had gone and I was alone with the children.
"Is she the Queen?" asked Louise.
That was a strange day. I took the children round the house and the garden. They thought it was all wonderful. We met some of the servants, who could not hide their pleasure at the prospect of having children in the house.
I thought: They will be happy here in time. They clung to me with a little more intensity than before, which told me that they were a little uneasy about the change in their lives; and they were certainly in awe of their formidable grandmother.
My food was sent up on a tray.
Lady Harriet had intimated that she wished to talk to me that evening and I was invited to her sitting room after she had had her dinner.
"Sit down, Drusilla," she said. "There is so much I wish to say to you. I know you have endured a great deal. Sir Fabian has told me how you looked after the children and kept them safely during that dreadful time, for which we are both extremely grateful to you. Sir Fabian says you are to stay with the children, at least until his return, which he hopes will not be very long. He believes there will be changes in India because of this awful mutiny. Louise and Alan are now out of danger, but there is that other child. I know about that and your part in it. It was very unfortunate, but we will not dwell on that. I have had the whole story from my son and I have been to see those people who have the child. That dreadful place where they are living! I sent for them to come here, but they rudely ignored my request ... and I went to them. What a pity they took the child."
"I must tell you, Lady Harriet, that they were wonderful to us. I don't know what we would have done without them."
"I am not blaming you, Drusilla. Your part in the affair was ... commendable. That nursemaid of yours ... she is a forthright woman." I fancied she conceded a grudging admiration for one not unlike herself. "I suppose what they did at the time was ... admirable. But we have now to think of the child. However unfortunate her birth, she is my granddaughter and she must be brought up here at Framling."
"Lady Harriet, they have cared for her since she was a baby. They love her as they would their own. They will never let her go."