I’m not saying all of us. What I’m saying is most of us. (Emmanuel, for instance, showed no signs of power-surging. He just stood there, worried, quietly saying, “This is not good, people are dying,” while keeping his tears welled, not wanting attention.) And I’m not claiming all of us knew why we were thrilled. I’m not claiming any of us knew why we were relieved. I’m saying we were thrilled. I’m saying we were relieved. I’m saying that for the first time in most of our lives, these two previously contradictory feelings served to complement each other. We were good and we had enemies. We had enemies, were good. We had enemies because we were good. I’m attempting to account for the secret reasons why this all seemed true to us, why it all made sense to us. I’m attempting to explain that it wasn’t just the on-the-spot cancelation of classes, or the feeling of productivity you get watching news in a group, or even the oft-reported rush that comes of surviving intact a force others like you have not. We had this feeling of importance, of total purpose, that most of us had never experienced before.
We suspected we had become the underdog.
By the time the South Tower collapsed, we were sure. And then some new questions arose, or tried to. When, exactly, had we become the underdog? Was it possible we’d been the underdog all along? Without knowing? And was it right to speak of a group as an underdog; i.e. was an underdog group not comprised of many individual underdogs? And if comprised of many, was it not likely that some were more underdoggy than others? Which ones?
“I’ve been to Manhattan.” “I was born in Manhattan, so I know what you mean.” “You’re right, you’re right: my father was just there on business last week.” “I have cousins in Brooklyn, just over the bridge.” “Here, take my phone, Yoni. Call your cousins.”
“They might go for downtown.” “My dad works downtown.” “Mine’s in the Hancock.” “Mine’s at One Mag Mile.” “Board of Trade.” “Prudential.” “Lake Point Tower.” “Daley Center.” “Birthday Cake.”
“I’ve got cousins who live in actual Manhattan.” “You know what, Yoni? Give the phone to Shayna first.” “But it’s busy, Saul, I haven’t gotten through to—” “But her cousins live in actual Manhattan.”
“My dad’s in Sears Tower, and that’s the tallest so they’ll hit it.” “If they hit it, Ran.” “What’re you trying to say?” “Who cares what he’s trying, cause you’re all of you wrong. The Aon buiding’s what’s getting hit if something’s getting hit.” “I don’t even know what that is.” “You’d know it if you saw it, that’s why they’d hit it. Listen to Blitzer. It’s all about symbols.”
“Where in Manhattan?” “I don’t know exactly where.” “She says she doesn’t know where, but it’s actual Manhattan.” “But just cause mine are in Brooklyn doesn’t mean hers are closer.” “Brooklyn’s a totally different city, though.” “So what? Pizza is in Evanston. It’s in a totally different city from Chicago, but still Pizza’s closer to us than Comiskey Park, right? Or even Wrigley Field. Admit it, Shayna.” “No. It’s not like you’re saying. They’re islands.”
“Who’s that guy with the big brown eyes?”
“My father always said this would happen.”
“Sears Tower you’d know if you saw it, plus its name.” “Aon building’s white. Monolithic.” “Lake Point Towers is shaped almost like a clover. It’s right next to Navy Pier and it’s black. It’s where the real action happens, where my dad works.” “The real action happens in the Hancock, which you’d not only know if you saw it, and it’s name, but it’s way more important architecture. Sears Tower’s ugly.” “Aon’s not ugly.” “No one knows it’s name, though, the Aon.” “Lakepoint’s close to Navy Pier.” “The Empire State’s what they’d have hit if they cared about names.” “Statue of Liberty’s what they’d have hit if they cared about tourist attractions.” “The White House and the Pentagon is what I’d’ve tried to hit.” “Don’t act like a seer; they already announced the Pentagon was hit.” “They announced they heard something about the Pentagon. They didn’t announce if it was true yet.” “The point is anything is vulnerable.”
“That’s true? They’re islands?” “They’ve got these big bridges because of how they’re islands.” “They’re boroughs.” “What’s a borough?” “They’re islands. Evanston and Chicago aren’t islands.” “They’re not islands. They’re boroughs.” “Is a borough a kind of island?” “Only New York is islands [tears].” “Now she’s gonna cry so she can use the phone first.” “She’s crying because she’s upset.” “She’s upset about the phone if she’s upset about anything.” “She’s upset about her family. They live on the same island as the Trade Center.” “It’s busy, anyway, so here.” “Good man, Yoni.” “I didn’t hear a thank you.” “She’s too upset to thank you. Plus if anyone should be thanked, it should be me, don’t you think?” “No, I don’t think.” “But it’s my phone she’s using.” “But I was the one who was using it.” “You didn’t thank me either, come to think.” “Times like these, it’s pretty much your duty to lend out your phone.” “Why my duty? I’m not the only one with a phone.” “You’re the one with a phone sitting closest to us.” “Look, I’m not complaining. I’m glad to lend my phone. And maybe even it’s my duty, but if it’s mine it’s everyone else’s too.” “You’re the closest.” “We’re talking distances measured in feet here, Yoni.” “Whatever, I’m upset, I’ve got family in Brooklyn.” “Except maybe I’ve got family in Brooklyn, too. Maybe even in Manhattan.” “Maybe? What does that mean?” “My uncle in Connecticut does a lot of work in Manhattan.” “Then why didn’t you use the phone to call him?” “Maybe I was being selfless.”
“Nine-one-one.” “What?” “Today is September 11.” “So?”
“If anything is vulnerable, everything is vulnerable.” “All of us are vulnerable.” “We’ve always been vulnerable.” “It’s true, we have.” “How didn’t we notice this?” “Because of what Mrs. Diamond said about Lancelot and boobytraps.” “What did she say?” “About how come he always fell in the same kind of boobytraps even though he was a great knight.” “How come?” “Because he never used deceptions since he was such a goodguy, and so he never suspected badguys would use deceptions. He’d go to the fort of a goblin to save Guinevere and the goblin would say, ‘Okay, she’s yours, just cross that discolored area of tile and I’ll bring her,’ and Lancelot would try to cross and the goblin would pull a lever, then blau, trap door, and he’d fall into a pit. And the pit would have a beast. And the beast would try to eat him. And Lancelot would have to kill the beast.” “Like Skywalker.”
“Eleventh day of the ninth month. 9-1-1, emergency.” “Emmanuel Liebman thinks he’s a kabbalist.” “Sounds more like he’s saying that Brown Eyes is the kabbalist.” “Don’t call that mastermind ‘Brown Eyes’—it’s irreverent.” “Little Sammy Diamond’s got a short fu — Ow!” “Samuel.” “Let go.” “Say my name.” “Samuel.” “Say it again.” “Samuel. I said it! Let go!” “You let Emmanuel reason out loud. Off the cuff he’ll say things you couldn’t think in a decade.” “Okay.” “You don’t distract him.” “I told you I told you I said it: okay!” Do Amalekites dial 9-1-1 in emergencies? “I see what you mean. Who’d know?” Rabbi Salt?
“Maybe you forgot about him, your Connecticut uncle.” “That’s not a kind thing to say to someone, Yoni, especially someone who just lent you his phone.” “Indian-gave his phone, and it wasn’t unkind. I was saying that maybe, since you only seemed to think of your uncle in Connecticut just now…maybe you’re not that close with him. Maybe you’re not as close as I am with my people in Brooklyn is all I’m saying, so it was right to let me call mine before you called yours.” “Or maybe I did think of my uncle, but knew I could take it, the wait for others with relatives to use my phone first, I mean. Maybe I just knew I was strong enough to take it.” “Maybe so, maybe so, but that doesn’t really contradict my hypothesis, does it? I mean maybe you were strong enough cause you’re not that close.” “Or maybe I didn’t realize how close til the implications of this tragedy we’re suffering began to come clear. They’re coming clearer and clearer, wouldn’t you say?” “We are definitely getting clearer and clearer.” “We are. It’s true.” “It’s true.” “I agree.”