Tate’s heart was hammering in her chest as she waded out to the boat; she was convulsing with the chill.
Barrett offered her a hand up. They were, for one sweet second, holding hands! He said, “I packed a picnic lunch, some beers and stuff, for after fishing.”
It was, Tate saw now, a testament to her low self-esteem that she never once considered that the picnic had been meant for Barrett and her.
“And you’re going to…”
Barrett nodded. “Ask your sister if she’ll go with me. What do you think she’ll say?”
Tate pressed her lips together to keep from screaming. “She’ll say yes.”
“You think?”
“I know,” Tate said. Although Tate and Chess had not spoken about how insanely attractive Barrett Lee was, they were sisters, and therefore the whole novel of how Tate loved Barrett Lee and how Barrett Lee loved Chess and how this would eventually be revealed to Tate’s horror and Chess’s embarrassed delight was understood but left unspoken.
“Great,” he said.
The fishing was ridiculously successful. Barrett caught three bluefish and one striped bass, and Tate caught two bluefish and two striped bass, one of which was a whopping forty-two inches long. Tate’s dream of having Barrett wrap his arms around her as he showed her how to cast didn’t materialize because Tate’s first cast on her own whizzed out thirty yards.
“You’re a natural!” Barrett said. “You look like you’ve been casting all your life.”
Barrett was in good spirits-not because he was fishing with Tate, but because he was being paid (handsomely: Tate’s father was very generous) to do what he loved. And they were slaying them out there. “This is the best fishing I’ve seen in years,” Barrett said, though he was only eighteen, so how many years could he have been talking about? And he was happy, Tate knew, thinking about his imminent lunch date with the beautiful and standoffish Chess. When Tate caught her final fish, the monster striper, and Barrett measured it at forty-two inches, he gave a low, impressed, almost sexy whistle.
“That’s a keeper,” he said. “But I’m afraid seeing it will upset your sister.” He threw the fish overboard.
When Barrett and Tate pulled back into the cove, Chess was lying on the beach in her bikini, reading. She looked up as Barrett beckoned to her. “Come on!” he said. “Your turn for a ride!” Tate’s only hope was that Chess would turn Barrett down, but no sooner had Tate disembarked than Chess was up on her feet. She and Tate passed each other in the shin-deep water without a single word-not even an admonition about the pilfered T-shirt-and then, just like that, they had switched places. Chess was on Barrett’s boat and Tate was on the shore.
The difference was, their father hadn’t paid Barrett to take Chess anywhere.
Tate trudged up the stairs. She decided she would hang herself by the nonlesbian neck from the branch of the only tree on their Tuckernuck property.
Instead, Tate stole one of her father’s cold Michelobs and two batteries from the transistor radio that her father kept around with hopes of catching part of a Yankees-Red Sox game (fruitless), and she spent the afternoon in the attic drinking, burping, crying, and softly singing “Thunder Road” to the bats sleeping in the rafters. This was predictable. What was not predictable was that Chess was more nervous about a date with Barrett Lee than Tate would have guessed. Chess drank an entire six-pack in two hours. Just as Barrett was making his move-placing his hand on Chess’s bare waist and keeping it there-the swell and bump of the ocean got to Chess, as did the suspicion that the mayonnaise on the ham sandwich out of the picnic basket had gone bad, and she puked off the back of the boat.
She later detailed her disgrace to Tate. “It was so gross,” she said. “The beer came out in one long stream, like a power washer. And then there were the chunks of the sandwich and the potato salad floating in the water, and Barrett made a comment about how my puke would draw the fish, and I barfed again.”
They were lying in bed and Tate was glad for the darker-than-dark because she didn’t want Chess to see her gleeful expression. Chess puking and Barrett’s subsequent rebuff thrilled her. Chess said that Barrett had offered her a wintergreen Life Saver but hadn’t touched her again, he hadn’t kissed her, and he hadn’t mentioned another date. This was the best outcome Tate could have hoped for. She was evil, she knew. She had no chance with Barrett Lee, but at least Chess had no chance either.
Barrett was an adult now. His hair was golden brown rather than the platinum of his youth; he had a day of stubbly growth on his face. He wore a visor with his sunglasses resting on the bill, and a blue T-shirt trumpeting a shark-fishing tournament. Tate checked his hand: no ring.
Birdie was the first one down onto the boat. Barrett reached out to shake her hand. “Hey, Mrs. Cousins, good to see you.”
“Give me a hug,” Birdie said. “I’ve known you since you were a baby.”
Barrett laughed and kissed Birdie on the side of the mouth.
India said, “Ooohh, give me one of those. I’ve known you just as long, and I smoked a cigarette with your father when I was only fourteen!”
Birdie swatted her sister. “That’s a horrible thing to say, India!”
“Is it?” India said. “Well, it’s true.”
Barrett laughed. He hugged and kissed India.
Then it was Tate’s turn. She was nervous. Hug? Kiss? Shake hands? She said, “Hey, I’m Tate.”
He said, “Like I could ever forget you. I haven’t seen a forty-two-inch striper since that day we went fishing together.”
“Really?” she said. He took her hand and helped her down into the boat and she thought, Oh, what the hell, and said, “Well, it’s good to see you.” She stepped in closer and kissed him somewhere between the side of the mouth and his cheek, no-man’s-land for a kiss, which was awkward. She chastised herself. Idiot! Already, she was pushy. He probably remembered that about her.
Tate moved to the back of the boat, where there was a horseshoe of white cushions. There were white cushions encircling the bow as well, and two captain’s chairs at the controls. One for Barrett, Tate supposed, and one for girlfriend. Tate watched as Barrett took notice of Chess’s blue crocheted cap covering what was clearly a bald egg. He touched Chess’s shoulder and said, “I’m sorry to hear about your troubles.”
“Thanks,” Chess said. She looked for a second like she might cry, and Tate could see Barrett teeter with worry.
Tate said, “Chess, come sit by me! This is going to be so great!”
Chess sat next to Tate, and Tate reached for her hand. Chess was hurting, and for a second Tate wondered if Chess should be given the first shot at Barrett Lee. But no, Tate decided. What Chess needed was a break from men. For her to dive headlong into another relationship would be the worst thing.
Barrett loaded their luggage onto the boat, and Tate watched the muscles in his forearms straining. She looked at his fine legs, the frayed hem of his khaki shorts, the sliver of oxford blue boxer peeking out from below the hem of one leg. He was too perfectly himself, the boy-now-man of Tate’s dreams. He was here, she could reach out and touch him.
Barrett took the wheel and eased the boat away from the dock. Tate inhaled the diesel fumes, which, mixed with the sun and the swampy harbor water, gave her a heady feeling of well-being. Barrett puttered out of the harbor-Tate didn’t take her eyes from his strong shoulders-and then he let the engines loose.
Tate squeezed her sister’s hand. They flew across the open water toward Tuckernuck Island. Tate leaned her head back so her face got direct sun. The boat hit waves, and a fine spray of saltwater came over the side. Tate loved summer in New England. It was so different from summer in Charlotte, where everyone moved from one air-conditioned venue to the next, where “swimming” meant laps in a heated, chlorinated pool.