“She put a lot of pressure on me,” Barrett said.
“That’s perfectly awful,” India said. “And again, I’m sorry. Roger has extreme sentimental value. My husband made him for me. I can’t sell him.”
“No, I get it,” Barrett said. “I feel like a jerk for even asking.”
“You’re not a jerk for asking,” India said. “If I had a way to do it, I would explain it to Anita myself.”
“She’s used to getting everything she wants,” Barrett said morosely.
India wondered if Barrett was sleeping with this woman. Was that possible? Of course it was possible, but what about Tate?
“Well, this will teach her, won’t it?” India said.
Barrett nodded and, without another word, headed up to the house. India hoped he wouldn’t forget about her letter.
TATE
She wouldn’t lose him. And so, Tate followed Chess’s advice and let the whole thing go. She didn’t ask Barrett what he had done the night he said he had plans, she didn’t accuse him of having an affair with Anita Fullin, and she didn’t upbraid him for bringing Anita to Tuckernuck uninvited. She pretended nothing had happened.
And everything was fine, or sort of. Barrett was still at the house when Tate and Chess got back from East Pond. Tate snuck up behind him, put her hands over his eyes, and said, “Guess who?” He turned around and scooped her up and they kissed. Chess pounded right up the stairs with a noise of disgust, but Tate didn’t care.
She said, “I missed you.”
He said, “Come with me now?”
Tate knew that Chess was cooking dinner for the first time since they’d been here-grilled swordfish with lime and chili, and an avocado sauce. It signified some sort of positive change. Would Chess understand if Tate missed it? She had just spent all afternoon listening to Tate bellyache. She would understand.
Tate said, “Yes. Let me get my bag.”
She raced up to the attic. Chess was changing into her Diplomatic Immunity T-shirt and her army-surplus shorts. She hadn’t once given the shorts or the T-shirt to Barrett for the laundry; any second now, they were going to get up and walk off on their own.
Tate said, “I’m going with Barrett.”
Chess said, “You’re missing dinner?”
Tate sat down on the bed and looked at her sister. “I am. I’m sorry. Are you mad?”
Chess shrugged.
Tate wavered. Should she stay? They had only so many days left; Tate was afraid to count exactly how many. Barrett was waiting downstairs. It was only swordfish. But Tate wasn’t completely insensitive. It was more than dinner: it was a dinner that Chess was cooking.
Tate said, “I’ll stay.”
“You don’t have to stay.”
“I want to stay.”
Chess looked at her sister, and then an amazing thing happened-something more amazing than her cooking. She smiled. She said, “You do not want to stay, you liar. So go-get going, go right now.”
It was both permission and a blessing. Tate threw some clothes and her running shoes in a bag. She went.
She should have stayed home; that was apparent after just the first hour. The boat ride was fine, and Tate enjoyed it like a person who knew there would be a finite number of boat rides left. The sun was hot, but the spray from the ocean cooled her off. She soaked in the incredible beauty of the Nantucket shoreline on a summer day-the green of the eelgrass, the golden sand, the other boats, sleek and white. She thought of the women in her condo complex who sat by the pool all summer in the hundred-degree heat; she thought of the elderly man with double hearing aids who bagged groceries at Harris Teeter. She would soon be returning to that life. Was it possible? She had a job with a pretzel company in Reading, Pennsylvania, on August 1, and another job with Nike in Beaverton, Oregon, as soon as the pretzel job was finished. She could, maybe, do both jobs quickly and fly back and forth from Nantucket.
Barrett was wearing his visor and his sunglasses, but despite this, he was squinting. Tate sat beside him in the copilot’s seat, but they didn’t touch. This was normaclass="underline" driving a boat was just as serious as driving a car. She couldn’t distract him. And yet she couldn’t help herself. She ran her finger down his spine and felt his body tense. She retracted her hand. They didn’t speak.
He pulled into Madaket Harbor and tied up to his mooring. Tate clambered down into the dinghy. She was nimble and experienced at this. She waited in the dinghy with her overnight bag at her feet while Barrett got organized. He climbed into the dinghy and rowed for shore. He was still squinting; he looked like he was in pain.
Tate said, “Are you okay? You seem quiet.”
He said, “I’m okay.”
“So, how did Anita like Tuckernuck?”
Barrett said, “Let’s not talk about Anita. Please.”
Tate said, “Okay.”
This was something of a conversation killer. Barrett was either annoyed or preoccupied, and all Tate wanted to do was bombard him with questions, but this would make the situation worse. When they reached the beach, Barrett tied up the dinghy and they walked to Barrett’s truck in the marina parking lot. The inside of the truck was hot; Tate scorched the backs of her thighs on the seat. In the console was half a cup of coffee with a skin of milk across the top like pond scum. Tate lifted it up. “Want me to toss this? There’s a trash can over there.”
“Just leave it.” Barrett turned the key in the ignition. The radio was on painfully loud. Tate turned it down.
Barrett said, “I told you, just leave it!”
Tate stared at him. “Why are you yelling?”
“I’m not yelling.”
They drove in silence. Tate thought, This is it. This is real life. The floating, head-over-heels stuff was over; this was real, hot, boring, tired life with Barrett Lee. He’d had a bad day at work, or something else was wrong. She looked at him. He was so handsome, it hurt.
She said, “So what did you do the other night? You never told me.”
He said, “Tate-”
“Is it a secret?”
“No, it’s not a secret. I went to Anita’s for a barbecue. Roman had a meeting or something in Washington, he couldn’t be there, and she needed me to fill in.”
Tate got a sour feeling in her stomach. “Fill in?”
“Right. Play husband. I grilled the steaks, opened the wine, sat at the head of the table, the whole goddamned thing.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
“Jesus, Tate!”
“Did you?” she asked.
“I didn’t. But thank you for asking. That really shows what you think of me.”
“What am I supposed to think? I knew you were with her that night, and then the next morning you didn’t show up at all, and when you did show up, you were with her. Now tell me, what am I supposed to think?”
Barrett said nothing.
The pieces of the puzzle fell into place too neatly for Tate to keep quiet, although that was what her brain was telling her to do. Keep quiet! Don’t push it!
She said, “Why didn’t you come yesterday morning?”
“I was busy.”
“With Anita?”
He sighed. “Cameron had a dentist appointment.”
“Really?” This sounded like a lie.
“Really.”
She looked out the window as the old-gym-shoe smell infiltrated the truck; they were passing the dump. She wanted to ask him about the future or, at the very least, the rest of the summer. She wanted to move in with him, travel for the business she had to take care of, and return. Would he want this, too? She couldn’t ask him now.
She said, “Do you want to go out tonight? Get wickedly drunk? Go to the Chicken Box and dance?”
“I’m too tired,” he said. “I want to have a beer on the deck, grill some burgers, hang out with you and the kids.”