They picked up speed as they left the Ferry, the road bending towards the coast beyond the marina, flowing with the contours of the land where it met the sea.
Was that the face of a child abuser, someone who could rape his own daughter? She remembered Libby telling her what he’d done, and her fists tightened in her pockets.
They drove over a makeshift crossing, a workman in a hardhat and hi-vis jacket leaning on a STOP/GO sign. Muddy tracks to their left, the building site for the new bridge on the right. This was where the approach road was going to go, through the fields and woods, stretching out over the water.
Jack kept driving. Ellie could see Rosyth docks and the naval base across the firth. The road widened and there were thick gravel verges on either side. Jack pulled in sharply and stopped, pushed the handbrake button. Ellie tensed her muscles, ready.
Jack looked out over the water and pulled his hand down his face as if he was trying to wipe it clean. The engine was still running.
‘I saw you,’ Jack said. He was still looking out the window, away from her.
Ellie stared at him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I saw you in my house.’ He turned to her. ‘In the kitchen, when I was lying there. You spoke to me, said something about Sam. Right?’
Ellie tried to remember exactly what she’d said.
‘You went out the patio door.’ His face was drawn, exhausted. ‘When Alison came home.’
Ellie shook her head. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Come on, no lies.’ Jack looked beaten by the world, so tired.
Ellie didn’t move or speak. Jack pushed himself up in his seat a little, gave a grunt of pain.
‘I’m not supposed to speak to you,’ he said. ‘Macdonald and Wood are handling the case. I’m meant to be at home resting. By the time I got out of hospital, Alison had already talked to them about you. If she’d asked me, I would’ve told her not to.’ He shook his head. ‘You know, I could have forensics check those patio doors. But I don’t think it’s in either of our interests for that to happen, do you?’
He squinted, brushed at something on the steering wheel.
‘I’m sure we both want what’s best for Sam,’ he said. ‘And Libby.’
‘Do we?’
Jack turned and frowned. ‘I’m not quite sure how you’re involved.’
‘I’m not involved.’
‘This is such a mess.’ He sighed. ‘Let me tell you what I think. After he stabbed me, Sam left in a panic. You found him somewhere, upset, he told you what he thought he saw and what he’d done. You came to the house to see for yourself, then you left when Alison came home. You know where he is now, and you’re trying to work out what to do.’ He looked her in the eye. ‘Am I close?’
She said nothing.
‘I’m close,’ Jack said.
‘You said, “what he thought he saw”, about Sam.’
Jack lifted a hand, palm up. ‘It was all a stupid misunderstanding.’
‘Are you trying to tell me you weren’t raping your daughter?’
Jack’s eyes widened. ‘Of course not, I love Lib.’
‘What were you doing, then?’
‘She was upset about something in school. I was just comforting her. I’m allowed to hug my own daughter.’
‘So Sam got the wrong end of the stick and stabbed you.’
Jack sighed. ‘I don’t want him to get in any trouble over this.’
‘It’s you who’s in trouble,’ Ellie said. She was trying to keep her voice level.
‘It escalated out of control. I don’t know what he thought he saw, but it was totally innocent. Honestly.’
‘He said your trousers were at your ankles.’
‘He’s been very difficult recently, big mood swings, struggling with mental illness.’
‘Really.’
Jack shook his head. ‘We’ve been to see a psychologist, and he’s taking different medication, but he’s tried to overdose twice. Talks about seeing and hearing things, hallucinations, maybe that’s what happened the other day.’
Ellie remembered Sam standing on the bridge, in a trance.
‘I don’t believe you for a second,’ she said.
Jack narrowed his eyes. ‘You’ve been speaking to him. Has he seemed rational the whole time?’
Ellie thought about that. ‘Yes.’
‘I know you’re covering for him and I know why. Because of Logan.’
Ellie didn’t say anything.
‘But Sam isn’t Logan,’ Jack said. ‘He’s my son.’
Ellie shook her head. ‘You’ve been abusing Libby for years.’
Jack looked shocked. ‘Sam made that up.’
‘Libby told me, not Sam.’
Jack stared at her. ‘When did you speak to Libby?’
Ellie shook her head.
‘She’s lying,’ Jack said. ‘I don’t know why, but she’s lying. Maybe she’s covering for Sam, maybe she thinks if she says that, Sam won’t get in trouble for stabbing me. Maybe she wants to hurt me and her mum. I don’t know. She can be a very difficult girl.’
‘I don’t believe a word you say,’ Ellie said.
‘It’s the most hurtful thing a kid can do, accuse their parent of something like this. She doesn’t realise, she’s only young, but it breaks my heart. You must know how it would feel. Imagine if Logan had said that about you, or Ben.’
‘How do you know my husband’s name?’
Jack shrugged. ‘I’m a police officer.’
She pictured herself at her kitchen table, Logan coming in, sheepish look on his face, avoiding eye contact. She asks if something is wrong, he skirts around it, not wanting to tell but yes, wanting to tell, confronting something horrible, then blurting out that his dad has been doing things to him, terrible things, touching him, making him do things he didn’t like. Ellie felt her stomach flip and the muscles in her shoulders tighten.
What if it was all made up? What if Sam was struggling with medication, with mental illness, what if Libby was covering for him? What if this was an innocent man sitting next to her – imagine what she or Ben would feel like if false accusations were made against them, if Logan had written something in a suicide note that said he’d killed himself because of them, because of abuse?
No, this is what abusers do, they manipulate people. It’s all about power, being in control, and Jack didn’t like it because for once he wasn’t in control, things were spiralling away from him and he couldn’t contain them any longer.
‘I need to get some air,’ Ellie said.
She opened the door and felt a hand on her arm. Her fingers tightened around the key in her pocket.
‘Wait,’ Jack said.
Ellie looked at him. He was worried. If she was honest, he didn’t look dangerous, sweating from the pain, he looked nervous and downtrodden, an underdog.
‘You have to believe me,’ he said. ‘I’ve never done anything to Libby. I would never harm her, I swear on my mother’s grave. The same goes for Sam.’
Ellie pressed her mouth into a thin line. ‘I need to go.’
‘I just want my family back,’ Jack said. ‘Things back the way they were. You of all people must understand that.’
Ellie shook her head and looked at his hand on her sleeve. He followed her gaze then lifted his hand away, letting her go.
‘Please help me get my family back,’ Jack said. ‘That’s all I want.’
‘I have to think.’
Jack nodded like a puppy. ‘Of course.’
Ellie undid her seatbelt. ‘I’m getting out.’
Jack frowned. ‘I’ll give you a lift back.’
Ellie got out the car.
‘It’s miles back to town,’ Jack said. ‘Don’t be stupid.’
‘I want to walk.’
She shut the door. She didn’t want any more words, she needed space and time. She looked up and down the road. Several miles of nothing, scrub grass on the verge, the Forth over the other side of the road, hedges and fields behind her.
The BMW sat next to her for a long moment, the engine turning over. Then she heard revs and it swept round in a U-turn towards town. The crunch of gravel and the throb of the engine receded until there was nothing, just the gentle shush of waves lapping at the shore.