“When I was eighteen I tried to track her down. More for Amy than anything. Amy constantly asked about her, wanted to know when she was going to visit. I think it was hard on her having an old woman for a mother and a teenager for a brother. So I did some research, looked at some public records, and I think I figured out what happened.”
“What?” Olivia couldn’t help but ask.
“She died in a drunk-driving accident.” He laughed, but there was no humor in his voice. “She was driving, she was drunk, and she killed two innocent people in the collision.”
He hoisted a bag over his shoulder. He’d showered and shaved, Olivia noted-his hair was still damp and a fresh, soapy scent surrounded him. “The police never contacted us because they didn’t know who she was. I found her in a Jane Doe database with the help of a Seattle cop. They were very helpful-I wasn’t the easiest kid to deal with. A lot like our witness Sean Miller. Chip on the shoulder and all that. It was after finding out about my mother that I decided I wanted to be a cop. I said goodbye to some bad influences, went to community college, and the rest is history.”
“What about Amy?”
Pain and conflicting emotions clouded his face, but he looked like he wanted to tell her. She held her breath, but didn’t know why. She had a feeling this was important to Zack, and sensing he wanted to share it with her opened her heart. It was as if they each had taken an emotional step closer to something she couldn’t recognize or define, but a place she yearned for. Trust? Understanding? She didn’t know.
“She got herself in a mess and ended up dead.”
He had chosen his words carefully. There was more to the story than what he’d said, but Olivia didn’t push.
Instead of elaborating, he changed the subject. “We’d better get a move on. Our flight leaves in ninety minutes.”
The intimate moment was broken, but the connection didn’t disappear. Olivia wondered if Zack noticed anything different between them, or if it was a figment of her imagination.
On the drive to the hotel to pick up her overnight bag, Olivia ran through every conceivable way to tell Zack about why she couldn’t go with him to California. She had to. She couldn’t juggle all the lies anymore.
He pulled into the parking lot and shut off the engine. He was about to open his door when she touched his arm.
“Wait.”
He turned to her. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t go with you.”
He looked at her for a good minute, his expression unreadable.”That’s what you said at the station. What’s going on?”
She swallowed. Get it over with. “I told you my sister was killed and that’s why I joined the FBI. But I didn’t tell you the whole story.”
He tensed beside her but didn’t say anything.
Olivia took a deep breath. “Missy was nine and I was five. We were at the park and it was getting late. I wanted to go home, but Missy was reading. She always lost herself in books.” She tried to smile, but it turned into a grimace.
“I wandered off to the swings. I was mad at her because I was scared, but I would get in so much trouble if I walked home alone. We had to stick together. That was the rule.
“I looked over and a man was talking to her. I yelled, ran over to them, but he hit me and grabbed her and that was the last time I saw her alive.”
“Oh my God, Liv. I’m sorry. No wonder this case is so important to you.” He touched her cheek. It turned into a caress. She reached up and tried to push his hand away, but he took her hand in his and held it tight. “You’ve done remarkably well on this case even though it hit close to home. Sometimes, our personal fears drive our goals. That’s okay.”
“No, no. Let me finish.” Instead of making the conversation easier, his understanding tightened her heart. “Please.”
He nodded, not letting go of her hand.
“I can’t interview Brian Harrison Hall. I testified against him. I helped put him in prison. He was convicted of killing my sister.”
Zack blinked once, twice, as he absorbed what Olivia had just told him. He couldn’t have heard right.
“What?”
“I promise you, I’m objective. I’m not going to jeopardize this case.”
“You lied to me.” Why did it surprise him? Hadn’t he just said a couple of days ago that the Feds always kept important information to themselves?
He jerked his hand from hers and ran it through his hair. “Isn’t this just wonderful? Why didn’t you trust me?”
“It’s not that I didn’t trust you. I didn’t know you when I came out here. I didn’t know what I was really getting into. I’d done all that research, connecting the dots because of that wrongful conviction. If it weren’t for me, Jillian and Jenny and Michelle might still be alive today. I fingered Hall because I saw his tattoo. I testified against him. If I’d done something differently, maybe none of this would have happened today, the police would have kept open the investigation, something!”
During Olivia’s impassioned speech, Zack studied her. He saw the pain on her face, the anguish and fervor. She hadn’t openly shown her emotions, and except for her outburst at the lake after speaking to Brenda Davidson, she’d kept an emotional distance. Because she was too close to the case. The realization that she blamed herself for something that was clearly beyond her control further tempered his anger.
“I wish you’d told me at the beginning.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I wanted to, but I thought you and everyone else would think I was too close to the case.”
“Listen to me. You should have told me, because it explains a lot. Such as your outburst at the Davidsons’. If things had gone differently, we could have had a lot of problems with them. But you’ve been a vital part of this investigation, and I can honestly say I don’t think we’d be this close without you.” The cases she’d brought with her; interviewing Jenny’s friends that led them to the witness, Sean Miller. And Zack had thrived when bouncing ideas and theories off her. She was a fantastic sounding board. Except when she doubted herself.
“That’s what this has all been about-every time I asked you to give your opinion you hesitated. You didn’t want to share your opinion because of what happened with your sister’s investigation. Dammit, Olivia, you were a child! You saw what you saw. It’s up to the adults to decipher the information and figure out what it means. You should know that by now.”
“I do.” Her voice was quiet, and she wouldn’t look at him. “I know in my head I wasn’t solely to blame for what happened then. There was circumstantial evidence, a prosecutor, the police force-but in my heart I think about what I could have done or said differently. All those little girls… gone. Like Missy.”
Her words chilled him. He wanted to reassure her that everything would be all right, that they’d catch her sister’s killer. That she could put the pain behind her knowing she’d done something important to right wrongs she had nothing to do with making in the first place.
He reached for her, ran the back of his hand against her creamy, delicate cheek. When he’d first met Olivia, he thought she was petite with a spine of steel. Rigid, professional, all business. For the first time, fragile crossed his mind. He tucked her hair behind her ear and pushed her chin up, forcing her to look at him.
Her omission still disturbed him on a different level, but he couldn’t be angry with her.
“Liv,” he said softly. “I can’t take the years of pain from you, or the guilt since learning this Hall guy is innocent. But I can tell you that I think you’re pretty incredible. You were five years old and had your life turned upside down. I can’t imagine how that felt.”
“You understand I can’t interview Hall. I testified against him at his parole hearings. He wouldn’t want to help me, not after spending thirty-four years in prison.”