You are as savage as they are!
I know. Smiling, her eyes deep and shadowed by luxuriant lashes that hid their lights then.
Why did you say you would keep me here?
There will be war again, this time between your fleet and the Outsiders. Your people never learned how to accept defeat. Pride will force your government to war. They will kill you and drive you back until you are once more on the planet of your birth, and you will be lost to me for ever. I wish it were not to be like that.
I thought you hated us all.
I thought I did also. I wanted to. You are like the savages of Tau Ceti III. You were taken as an infant and trained to be a soldier; perhaps the training could be cancelled… Sometimes I think I can see a suggestion that perhaps the training was insufficient in your case. You have been kind to me, and gentle… But those are simply excuses, and what I feel for you is inexcusable.
Lar, will you go to one of the rooms with me?
I have no choice. Her hand closed on the flower she held; she seemed unaware of it.
Don’t say that! Besides, Mellic is neutral now. You are a free agent.
She bowed her head, and when she raised it once more her eyes were black and very distant. Not to one of those rooms.
Why not?
They are so ugly, hideously ugly…
How do you know? Have you been… Who?
Who? How do I know who? Your men take what they want from the planets they conquer. Mellic has women.
No! Not you! There was a sickness in him then. He looked at her lovely body that he had thought so clean and untouched. A vision of her with someone else flashed before his inner eye and he turned towards the river.
Yes, me! Don’t turn away from me, Captain Tracy. Let me tell you about it! Did you know some of them beat the women afterwards? Did you know some of them aren’t satisfied unless there is an audience or a group all mingling together? I know all your World Group perversions, Captain Tracy. It amuses your little uniformed gods to teach us and then make us perform for them… Her low, soft voice had hardened, sounded strange to him.
Stop it!
It is too late to stop now, Captain Tracy! I tried to stop it and do you know what he said, one of the little gods in his shiny uniform? He said animals had nothing to say about how they are used. He said if the oxen refuses to pull the plough, it is whipped; if the mare refuses the rider, she is beaten; if a Mellic woman refuses to serve the new gods, her family is whipped and beaten, and deprived of their food rations. He said all Fleet men were wonderful animal trainers, Captain Tracy!
Why are you doing this to me? I didn’t know about you. I would have tried to protect you. You should have told me. Lar, I love you.
And how many others have you loved? Did you protect all of them? How many seeds of yours have been well planted on other worlds? You know what happens, don’t you, Captain Tracy? If the women don’t die in convulsion of rejection they bring forth monstrously deformed fruit, and that is the result of the union of the World Group fleet and the women they conquer ― deformity and ugliness…
Why are you doing this?
You should be able to see the expression on your face, Captain Tracy. Disgust, loathing, anger… You spoke of love to me and there was hatred in your eyes. You soil us and then hate us for being dirty. When I speak the truth about myself, you flinch away as if I were contaminated and contagious. Even now, could you bring yourself to touch me right now? Before you have a chance to go away and rationalise all of this? You will do just that, you know, and when you return you will have convinced yourself that I am here for you to take, that it doesn’t make very much difference how you take me. You will have reminded yourself that we are animals to be used and thrown aside, that already I have been much used, that once more won’t matter one way or the other. I can see these thoughts forming already, the way you shake your head so violently at them! You would hit me if you could bring yourself to touch me now. Later you will hit me, won’t you? You will relieve your fury by striking me. Your fury for thinking I was a virgin when I am actually so much less. You have a lovely phrase to describe it, Captain Tracy: the spoils of war! She turned and started to run from him then.
Somehow he broke and ran after her, caught her and spun her around. They stood facing one another, his hands gripping her shoulders hard, her hands hanging limp at her sides. He pulled her to him slowly, closing his eyes at the last moment, crushing her to him, and she was sobbing against his chest.
Hey, Trace! Where are you?
He tilted her head and looked into her black eyes awash with tears. He did not kiss her, But touched the tear streak on her cheek with his finger-tip. Very gently he put her aside.
Wait. I’ll be back in a moment.
Trace! You down there by the river?
It was Duncan, clambering down the slope to the river-bank. Trace met him half-way.
Emergency alert, Trace. Volunteers only. That robot that slaughtered the trainees back on Venus a couple of years ago, just mopped up Tau Ceti IV. Tau Ceti III’s sending a recon ship to keep it on scope until one of ours gets there. If we leave within the next half-hour or so, we’ll still be able to get a fix before it can get into warp sector. You with it, Trace?
You bet! The others near by?
All but Mao; Hess is on hand to sub…
Be right with you, Dunc. Round them up.
She was waiting, her tears gone now. You are leaving!
Emergency. I have to go.
I heard him say volunteers…
You don’t understand. I have to. You will be here when I get back?
The Outsiders may not allow you to come back.
To hell with them. I’ll come back for you.
He should have kissed her before. Now it was too late. He looked at her still face, the black hair, black eyes; abruptly he turned and left her.
They caught up in time to get a relative position lock before the other Fleet ship went into warp, and shortly afterwards they also warped. When they came out, there it was, a dot on the screen, still locked in position with them. Again it warped, and they followed. For three months they followed, tied together by the invisible string, entering warp where change was not possible, coming out to manoeuvre, the robot trying to break that string, only to enter warp again, still tied.
It must know that we are closing in, Trace.
It will slow down eventually; it will have to, or be blown to bits as soon as we are in range.
The dot on the screen held steady, and then it was slowing, going into orbit around a planet not even listed in the catalogue.