Rike cups the glass in her hands and nods. ‘Do you think he has a problem?’
‘With drugs?’ Isa shakes her head. ‘He’s such a fucking tourist.’ Isa picks up her drink. ‘How old is he now? Thirty-one? Thirty-two? Time is running out for him and he knows it. He can’t behave like this.’
‘I feel sorry for Franco.’
‘Franco was no angel. He knew what he was getting.’
A silence falls between them. Isa exhausted but unwilling to go to bed.
Living with Mattaus and Franco, close to the end of her stay, Rike had woken with the sound of them returning from a club. Two in the morning, then three. Someone in the kitchen, and she had come out to find Franco leaning against the cabinets, arms folded. The door to their bedroom closed. And then the painful realization that they had met someone at the club and brought them home. It was difficult to understand the set-up, but Franco wasn’t pleased. Until this point they had lived formal lives with each other, but now, on the understanding that she was leaving, she sensed that they were returning to a different life, to old and established routines.
When she left, it was Franco, not Mattaus, who said that he would miss her.
The evening, being so exceptionally strange, has left Rike with the sense that she’s permeable. She sits in the chair, legs tucked under her, the glass of milk in her hand, and senses the night air and the distance between herself and her sister, the glass, the small square garden outside, and the wall, aware that beyond this is a void. The apartment could be floating, it could be free. They could be in this box and be anywhere in the world, even above it.
7.2
At three in the morning Rike wakes again. There’s little point in attempting to sleep. She slips into the lounge and checks her email. Included is a message from Mannfunktionprojekt.
She retrieves a pass code for the final piece in an email titled ‘with love’. The date — the beginning of the month — means that this was not actually the final piece, but the second. When she enters the site she’s prompted to fill in her name, her age, her email address, and generate a password. A small warning comes up: This Contains Adult Material.
Enter / Return to Site. Rike clicks Enter.
Members / Guests. She clicks Members and is prompted to enter her password.
The entire screen becomes black.
‘With Someone You Love’ comes up as a title, and then underneath a second title: ‘With Someone You Do Not Love’. Both are options which can be clicked.
* * *
Isa comes out of the bedroom an hour later.
‘He can’t sleep either,’ she says. ‘So I can’t sleep. What are you watching?’ Isa leans over the couch as Rike automatically covers the screen, expecting Isa to become angry.
‘It’s art.’
‘Art?’ Isa peels back her sister’s hand. ‘You’re watching porn? Of all nights? Now I have to worry about you?’ She comes around the couch and sits beside her sister.
‘It’s art.’
‘So move your hand away.’
‘I’m not Mattaus.’
‘Let’s not go there.’
‘It’s that group. You liked the last one. It’s another video, a series of videos.’
Isa picks the computer from Rike’s lap. She clicks to restart the movie. After a moment she moves the laptop so they can both see the screen. ‘You dirty girl,’ then clicking through the options asks Rike which one she wants to watch: with love, or without?
* * *
Isa becomes serious once they have watched both films.
‘It’s interesting. I mean I don’t know if it’s art, but it’s interesting. You think at some level it’s all the same. Fucking, I mean. It’s just fucking after all.’
Rike rolls her eyes. That’s something Mattaus would say.
‘Not exactly what you’d call hot though, is it?’
‘I don’t think it’s supposed to be.’
‘You know if Henning was ever with anyone else, I think the only way I could make it through would be to think that whoever he was with, it wouldn’t be the same, it would be something different. That when he’s with me it’s more, I don’t know, intended. I don’t know. Men say it doesn’t mean anything, you know, when they mess up. That’s the standard line.’
‘It’s not the same.’
Isa gives a short laugh. ‘You know. It kind of is. I mean that’s where it gets to. Once or twice maybe it’s something special, but you have these habits, you know. You spend all of your time thinking about it when it doesn’t happen, and then, when it does, it’s a function. Like having a good shit, I mean how many different ways can you have a good shit? I’m being serious.’
The sisters sit in silence.
‘You think we’re the only animal that cares about this?’ Isa points to the yard. ‘You think those cats care? You think other animals watch each other go at it and it does something for them?’
‘Like cat-porn.’
Isa turns to Rike and they both laugh, and try to keep quiet to not disturb Henning, but laughing hard.
‘So when did you last do it?’
‘You’re asking me?’
‘Of course I’m asking.’
Rike gives a short involuntary eyes-closed shrug.
‘Really? That long?’
‘What? No. It’s not been that long.’
‘So this year. We’re talking this year? You’ve had sex this year? Who with?’
‘I’m not telling you. We’re not discussing this.’
‘I bet you haven’t. You like those farm boys, that’s your problem.’
‘I don’t like farm boys. You like farm boys.’
‘I do. Very much. But so do you. You never go for them though. You always end up with the complicated ones. The spoiled ones. The ones who are too shy, who need written permission, notes from their mothers. That’s your whole problem, you don’t go for what you want.’
Rike considers returning to bed. ‘This isn’t fair. You don’t know what it’s like. You’re married now. It’s all different.’
‘It’s true though. Look at them. There was that French boy.’
‘Don’t.’
‘And he really liked you. I still don’t understand what your problem was. See. I know you like him. I’m talking about Tomas.’
‘I don’t like him.’
‘Yes. You do. I can tell.’
‘I don’t. I’m his teacher.’
‘You keep saying that like it’s a problem. You’re adults. And men always like teachers. Teachers and librarians. Ask Henning.’
‘I don’t like him. I don’t know him. He doesn’t have the first idea about me.’
‘I bet he sits close. I bet he leans forward and asks you questions. I bet he whispers so you have to get close. He’s asked you to his house. See. It’s not like you’re in a classroom. You’re already in the vicinity.’
Rike didn’t understand. ‘Of what?’
‘Of his bedroom. God, you really are hopeless.’ Isa shakes her head with genuine frustration. ‘I’m joking. I’m having fun. God forbid you’d let yourself have any fun. Ever.’
‘I know how to have fun.’
Isa stops talking for a moment, then screws up her mouth. ‘You know, with Mattaus, I can’t believe he’s been here longer than we have. All this time. I know what he’s like. But it’s just hurtful that he does this. He has no idea. I mean we love him. But he does this to us. All the fucking time.’
Hearing a noise in the hallway both Rike and Isa turn to see Henning fully dressed.
‘What’s the matter?’ Isa asks, her voice still quiet. ‘Did we disturb you?’
‘I have to go. I’ve had a call. The man in the hospital. There are problems with security.’