I rode ahead of him. There must be no more of this conversation.
I said goodbye to him when we came in sight of Tressidor. I went in and straight up to my room. I could not face anyone for a while. I was in too much of an emotional turmoil.
There was a certain joy in my heart because he was not indifferent to me; there was a feeling of deep desperation because he was not free; and any relationship between us other than the most casual friendship was out of the question.
But was it? Why had he spoken to me as he had? Was he in love with me? Was I in love with him? Was he suggesting that something should be done about it?
Perhaps they were questions it was better not to ask.
Perhaps I should go away … in time.
That afternoon I paid a visit to Jamie McGill.
There was an atmosphere of peace in the lodge house and I felt I wanted to escape into it for a while. He was delighted to see me. He had increased his hives, he told me, since I had last been there.
“We’ve had our ups and downs,” he said. “There was that cold winter. We don’t get winters here like we did in Scotland … but that was a cold snap … just for a few weeks and the bees didn’t like it. Of course I protected them from the worst of it. They know that. They’re grateful. More grateful than folks, bees are.”
He made the tea and said it would be a good idea if I went out and had a word with the bees.
“Wouldn’t want them to think you were standoffish.”
I smiled. “Do you really think they would?”
“They know. But they’d take it as a good gesture if I took you out there. They know you’re here. They knew before I told them. Sometimes I think bees know these things … quicker than we do. Lionheart, he’ll sometimes know what’s going to happen before it does.”
The Jack Russell, hearing his name, wagged his tail. He was lying on the rug looking at his master with adoring eyes. The cat came and leaped upon his lap.
“Oh,” he said, “mustn’t forget Tiger. Tiger’s a wise one, aren’t you, Tiger?”
Tiger was black and sleek with slanting green eyes.
“What an unusual cat!” I said.
“Tiger’s more than a cat, aren’t you, Tiger? Tiger came to me one night. Outside the door he was … not exactly begging to come in. Tiger never begs. But demanding in a way. So he came and he’s stayed ever since. Where did you come from, Tiger? You’re not telling, are you?”
“You get great satisfaction from animals and bees,” I commented.
“They’re different from people,” he said, “and I always got along with them better. I know them and they know me … and we trust each other. There’s Lionheart. Now in his eyes I can do no wrong. That’s a good friend to have. Tiger … well, he’s not so predictable. It’s my privilege to have him, if you understand. That’s how Tiger sees it.”
“And the bees?”
“They’re a cross between these two. We live side by side. I do what I can for them and they do what they can for me.”
“It’s a good life you’ve made for yourself here, Jamie.”
He did not answer. His eyes had a faraway expression as though he were looking beyond the cottage and me and even the animals.
“It would be a good life,” he mused, “but for Donald. I never know when he might find out where I am.”
“Your twin brother,” I said, remembering what he had told me in the past.
“If he were to come here, all this peace … it would be gone.”
“Do you expect him to come, Jamie?”
He shook his head. “There’s whole days … weeks … when I don’t think of him. I forget him sometimes for months at a stretch.”
“Well, you’ve been here a long time, Jamie. It’s hardly likely that he’ll come now.”
“You’re right, Miss Caroline. It’s foolish of me to worry. He won’t come.”
“Apart from that, you have made everything as you want it.”
“I reckon that’s so. Miss Tressidor has been good to me … to give me this lovely house and garden to live in.”
“She’s good to all the people on the estate.”
“I’ll never forget what she’s done for me.”
“I’ll tell her. But I think she knows. Did you really mean that you wanted me to see the bees?”
“Oh yes. We must do that.”
He dressed me up in the veil and gloves which I had worn on a previous occasion and I went out to the hives. I felt a momentary panic when the bees buzzed round me, even though I knew I was well protected.
“Here she is,” said Jamie. “Come to see you. Miss Caroline. She takes a great interest in you.”
I saw some alight on his hands and some on his head. He was not in the least perturbed and nor were they. He must be right. They did know him.
Back in the lodge he divested me of the veil and gloves.
“It’s wonderful,” I said, “how they know you.”
“No,” he answered, “it’s natural.”
“They seem to have a thriving community. They don’t seem to be bothered by the troubles which beset us humans.”
“There can be trouble. Sometimes there are two queens in one hive.”
“Couldn’t the two of them live side by side?”
Jamie laughed. “They’re like people after all. You couldn’t have two wives in one home, could you? You couldn’t have two queens ruling a country.”
“What happened?”
“They fought. One killed the other.”
“Murder!” I said. “In your ideal colony!”
“Jealousy is a terrible thing. There’s only room for one … so the other gets rid of the one in the way.”
“You’ve spoilt my illusion.”
“It’s better to have the truth than illusions, Miss Caroline.”
“So bees are not perfect after all.”
The black cat sprang onto my lap.
“Tiger likes you,” he said.
I was not sure. The cat was staring at me with its green satanic eyes. Then suddenly it settled down and started to purr.
There was a brief silence in the room broken only by the sound of the ticking clock.
There is peace here, I thought. Perfect peace. No, not quite perfect. I kept thinking about the queen bees who had fought to the death of one; and the niggling fear in Jamie’s mind that one day his wicked brother would find him.
I received a letter from Olivia. It moved me deeply.
“My dear Caroline,
“I have great news for you. I am going to have a baby. That will make my happiness complete. Everything has been so wonderful for me since I married. Jeremy is so delighted. It was what we both wanted to crown our happiness. Jeremy wants a boy, of course. I suppose men always do. As for myself I really don’t mind—except for Jeremy, of course. It will be quite soon. I put off telling people for as long as I could. I had a funny feeling as I always did about wonderful things— afraid that something might go wrong if I talked too much about them. So I kept it to myself. It will be at the end of July.
“I know you will share my joy in this. How do you fancy being an aunt? It’s hard to imagine you as one. I do wish you would come up some time. I long to see you. I want you to promise that you will be the baby’s godmother. Please write to me soon and tell me that you will.
“I love your letters. I can imagine it all. Perhaps one day I’ll come to Cornwall. It will be difficult for a while because of the baby, but you must come here, Caroline. It is a long journey but I should so love to see you.
“Miss Bell is still here, of course. She is so excited about the baby. It will be a new one for her to ‘governess’. I am afraid she felt her post here was something of a sinecure since I can hardly be said to be in the schoolroom now. She ‘directs’ me as she calls it. Jeremy is amused by her.
“You will think about coming, won’t you? You will have to for the christening. It is usual for godmothers to attend.