“It is because I don’t want it to end. I want to catch the golden minutes and imprison them forever.”
“The poetic mood doesn’t really suit you, Jago.”
“Not much in my line, is it? What I will say in blunt everyday prose is, It is fun to be with you.” He leaned forward and gripped my arm. “And that is how you feel about me.”
I smiled at him. “Yes, Jago, I admit it. It is fun to be with you.”
“Triumph! The first step is taken. Now I shall make rapid strides.”
“In what direction?”
“Surely you know.”
“I can’t guess.”
He laughed and leaned towards me but I held him off.
“If you mean you are proposing to take your usual course of action, I think you should step back. We don’t want to spoil this pleasant tete-a-tete do we?”
“You’re right,” he said, “I will continue to woo you with words.”
“Words don’t hurt anyone.”
“Nonsense! Words can be more effective than blows. The pen is mightier than the sword and all that.”
“Perhaps you’re right. But words can’t take the place of deeds, can they, and as long as you remember that …”
“You are prepared to go on listening to my honeyed tones.”
“At the moment I don’t appear to have much choice.”
And so we continued in this bantering way until we came to London.
Jago took charge of the situation and we were soon driving along to the house which had been my home for so long.
I alighted at the door. Jago rang the door bell and a parlourmaid whom I did not know opened the door.
She cried: “It is Miss Caroline, isn’t it? Do come in.”
Jago took my hand, bowed and departed, and I was taken in to Olivia.
We embraced. Both of us were in a highly emotional state.
“Oh, Caroline … at last. This is wonderful.”
“My dear Olivia! And how well you look!”
“A little plump, eh?”
“A little, but becomingly so. Where is my goddaughter?”
“I knew you’d want to see her first.”
“May I?”
“Before anything? Before you go to your room? You must be tired out. Did you have a good journey?”
“Oh yes … very good. I travelled with someone from Lancarron.”
“Oh … who?”
I had forgotten that I had written to her very fully about the place.
“Jago Landower.”
“Oh really! Where is he?”
“He’s gone to an hotel.”
“I hope I’ll meet him.”
“I expect he’ll make certain that he meets you.”
“Oh, Caroline … isn’t it good to be together! And how are you? You look different … thinner.”
“The opposite of you.”
“Well, it’s the baby. It makes you put on weight.”
“Well … what about this baby?”
“Come on … I can’t tell you how beautiful she is.”
“You have already … at least twenty times.”
She looked happy. He must be kind to her, I thought. At least he has made her happy …
We went into the nursery and a familiar figure came to greet me.
“Miss Bell!”
“Well, Caroline, I am very pleased to see you.”
“Have you started preparing Livia’s lessons yet?”
“I know exactly how I shall begin … just as soon as she is ready.”
Olivia laughed and said: “Miss Bell can’t wait for Livia to reach the schoolroom stage. Where is Nanny Loman? Oh, here she is. Nanny, this is my sister. You’ve heard of her. She’s just arrived and the first thing she wants to do is see Livia.”
Livia was sleeping in her cradle curtained by thick pale blue silk. She was plump, blue-eyed and fair-haired. I fancied I saw Jeremy in her.
“She’s awake,” said Nanny Loman.
“May I pick her up?” asked Olivia.
For answer Nanny Loman picked up the child and showed her to me. The baby opened her eyes and stared at me. I felt a little thrill of pleasure. I put out a hand and touched the soft cheek. She continued to stare at me. I took her tiny hand and looked with emotion at the tiny fingers tipped with miniature nails. The fingers curled round my hand.
“She’s taken to you, Caroline,” said Olivia.
“She likes being picked up, that’s what,” said Nanny Loman practically.
“Sit down,” said Olivia. I did so and the baby was put into my arms.
I looked up at Olivia. Yes, that was perfect bliss I saw in her face. There was no mistaking it.
Afterwards I went to my room.
“Your old one,” Olivia said. “I thought you’d like that.”
I stood for a moment looking round. “It feels so strange to be back,” I said.
I turned to her and she threw herself into my arms.
“Oh, Caroline, I’ve been so worried about … everything.”
“Is something wrong?”
“For me … it is perfect. But it doesn’t seem right when you had to suffer such … I often think of it. But for that I could be perfectly happy.”
“You must stay perfectly happy, Olivia. That’s what I want. I’m all right. It’s wonderful in Cornwall. I’ll tell you all about it. We’ll have such lovely talks.”
“Oh yes, we will. Caroline, it is so wonderful to have you here.”
Jeremy did not appear that evening.
“He’ll be back late,” Olivia explained. “He has to be out sometimes … on business. You’ll see him tomorrow.”
I was relieved. At least I need not see him just yet. I was not quite sure what effect he was going to have on me; but I was taking a more kindly view of him because he was making Olivia happy.
We sat talking over dinner.
“There’s so much to catch up on,” said Olivia. “Letters are wonderful and yours bring people and places to life. I can see that place in Cornwall. But it isn’t quite the same as talking, is it?”
“No. And it is wonderful to be together.”
“We mustn’t be apart so long again.”
“No. It was so difficult for us to get to each other. And then there was all that time when I was with our mother.”
“Oh yes. Wasn’t it wonderful about her finding that man … Alphonse.”
“She is still very beautiful. He was so proud of her.”
“We used to think she wasn’t quite real, do you remember? When she used to come into the nursery … to see us .. .”
“To show herself to us,” I corrected.
Olivia did not notice the caustic tone of my voice. I reflected that I had grown bitter while Olivia was still the same simple, good person, endowing everyone with her own qualities. What did she know of the world? Perhaps it was better not to know, to go on in blissful ignorance, seeing everything through the proverbial rose-coloured glasses. Perhaps if you saw it that way, it was the way it became for you.
“Miss Bell hasn’t changed,” I said.
“Well, she was worried for a time. She thought she would have to go. Then she stayed on. I said I wanted her to help me and you know that Aunt Imogen approves of her.”
“Oh, is Aunt Imogen still in charge?”
“Not really … now I’m married. She is very fond of Jeremy. She was so pleased when we married. But she still, as she says, keeps an eye on me. Jeremy laughs at it, but they get on very well together.”
“So Miss Bell is now in her element.”
“She was so good to us.”
“Good for us, perhaps. She certainly kept me in order. You were always the perfect pupil, Olivia.”
“Oh no. You were the clever one. That’s what pupils should be if they are to be a credit to their teachers.”
“They should be well mannered, docile … and good … and those were the things you were.”
“You’re laughing at me.”
“I would never laugh at you, dear Olivia. I laugh with you.”
“I see there is a difference. Oh … I must tell you. Do you remember Rosie Rundall … or Rosie Russell as she now is?”